Smithy Goes To Limbus
Let's look at my options:
1) Regular duty in Yuhtunga/Yhoator Jungle
I'd rather stab myself in the eye.
I love the jungles. I really do. The smell of fear in the air is quite nice in the Spring.
But if I have to see one more level 29 WAR/ level 10 WHM trying to hit 30 just to get an advanced job, I'm going to scream.
Seriously. One match and the whole place goes up.
Yay! I can get gang raped with weapons!
How about no?
My flesh is feeling a little too non-charred lately. Plus, the nurses on the burn ward are damned cute.
But I'm thinking I can live without being liquified for another day.
So what does that leave me?
I haven't actually done Limbus yet, but I've heard good things.
Of course, I heard them from Shaman, the same moron who convinced me to try Garrison.
Note to self: hurt Shaman.
But, because I had nothing better to do, I signed up for Limbus.
I need to get a hobby.
So, I get suited up and ready to go, then head over to catch a warp to Tenemos North. And, as usual, who shows up but Shaman and Pathfinder.
GoblinShaman>> Hi, Smithy.
GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty.
GoblinSmithy>> Hey, Shaman.
GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty.
GoblinSmithy>> I heard you the first time.
GoblinPathfinder>> You didn't say hi.
GoblinSmithy>> Hey look! A path!
*punch in the back of head*
GoblinSmithy>> I hope this is a quick trip.
That's when I find out we can't warp directly there.
Do I look like someone who enjoys hiking? Do I really?
I realize I may seem like the outdoors type because I spend so much time in the jungle, but I'm honestly not. That's part of the job.
If I could find a job terrorizing n00bs and murdering White Mages in a mall, I'd never go outside again.
A metal subligar gets cold, you know.
So, when they told me we had to catch a Tele-Holla and walk from there, I was pissed.
But money is money. I've got to get some extra hours to cover my WoW account.
And off we went.
We catch a Tele-Holla and already I'm annoyed. Damned Leecher charging me 1000 gil.
The hike probably wouldn't be so bad if Pathfinder hadn't gotten us lost three times.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you were good with paths.
GoblinPathfinder>> I only find them.
GoblinSmithy>> Just when I thought you had a purpose.
GoblinPathfinder>> Hey look!
GoblinSmithy>> Don't do it.
GoblinPathfinder>> A path!
GoblinSmithy>> Are there any adventurers around?
GoblinSmithy>> I could really go for a sword to the brain right now.
We finally make our way to Tenemos North and I must say I was impressed.
GoblinSmithy>> Where's camp?
GoblinShaman>> We're on the seventh floor.
GoblinSmithy>> Where's the elevator?
GoblinShaman>> What elevator?
GoblinSmithy>> I'm going to murder you with your own face.
Seven floors and no elevator.
Note to self: start organizing revolution.
So we trudge up 7 flights of stairs. By the time I get to the top, my heart is ready to explode.
And then they hand me a treasure chest to carry.
Yes, you read that right. A FREAKIN' TREASURE CHEST!
GoblinSmithy>> You've got to be kidding.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell is this for?
GoblinShaman>> The adventurers are going to kill you to get it.
GoblinSmithy>> Hey, Pathfinder.
GoblinSmithy>> Want a treasure chest?
GoblinShaman>> Sorry, man. That one's yours.
GoblinSmithy>> Do we have any plans where I don't get killed?
GoblinSmithy>> We need to get a committee on that.
So we wait.
Did I mention the waiting?
I'm just getting ready to give up when a huge group of adventurers barrels in.
We go to quick work and they start to lose health fast. This was gonna be easier than I thought.
And then a Ninja got a lucky shot in on me and I dropped my treasure chest.
On my toe.
Just as the pain was starting to recede, a Red Mage runs up and opens my chest.
And their entire party gets back full hp and mp.
Well FREAKIN' Perfect!
After that, we didn't have a chance. We got wiped out.
Luckily, I got to see Pathfinder get killed before me.
Thank Altana for small favors.
And just as I'm about to die, I hear the damned Red Mage say
RedMage>> Well that was a lot of work for nothing.
Glad we could be of service, Bastard.
I hate limbus.