Saturday, April 08, 2006

Lolbifrons

I was on duty in Beaucedine last night and I started to get tired.

Actually, it was freezing freakin' cold and I was wearing a metal subligar. "Things" were getting chapped.

I needed to find a place to crash for a while, so I decided to head over to Castle Zvahl.

Things were all right on the way there. Ran into a few adventurers, but a couple of stabs later and things were quiet again.

And then I made it to the Castle. I started wandering around looking for a place to relax, when I heard it.

Was it the crash of weapons as a mighty battle took place? Was it the sharp rattle of sword against shield? Was it the ritualistic chant as dark magic was summoned forth?

No. It was Dashboard Confessional.

That's when I ran into Count Bifrons. A notorious demon that inhabited this castle with his demon hoard.

Also, he is the emo-est damned thing you will ever meet.

Remember, you can't spell demon without the 'emo'.

CountBifrons>> Welcome to the Hellkeep, Goblin soldier.
CountBifrons>> I greet you as the darkness embraces the night.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell is wrong with you?
CountBifrons>> What do you mean, Harrier?
GoblinSmithy>> I mean you're supposed to be a freaking demon.
GoblinSmithy>> A spawn of hell.
GoblinSmithy>> And you're sitting here listening to emo music.
CountBifrons>> Do not mock the siren song of the world's ending.
GoblinSmithy>> Have you been crying?
CountBifrons>> I weep for the dawn that will come and banish the night.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you wearing lipstick?
CountBifrons>> ...
CountBifrons>> no.

I was tired when I got here. Now, I'm tired and annoyed.

GoblinSmithy>> Listen, Count Chocula...
CountBifrons>> My name is Count Bifrons, Lord of Demons.
GoblinSmithy>> Suuurrrrrrre it is.
GoblinSmithy>> Good luck with that.
GoblinSmithy>> I need to lie down for a while.
CountBifrons>> Would you make your bed among the shadows?
GoblinSmithy>> Uh... yeah. Whatever.
GoblinSmithy>> Could you show me a bed?
GoblinSmithy>> And then go away?
CountBifrons>> I will indeed allow you respite in Hellkeep.
CountBifrons>> And as you slumber among the...
GoblinSmithy>> OH SHUT UP!
GoblinSmithy>> You're a damned demon.
GoblinSmithy>> Act like it, you emo-tard.
CountBifrons>> I'll have to ask you to leave.
GoblinSmithy>> I'll have to ask you to shut the hell up.
GoblinSmithy>> Go cry on your Linkin Park CDs.
GoblinSmithy>> Moron.

I left all right. I'd rather freeze my tarus off than hang out anywhere near that freak.

Damn, I hate demons.