Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Oh How the Mighty Have Fallen

Recently, I pointed out that I hate heroes.

And I do.

But there is one factor of the high level hero that I absolutely love:

Retribution.

ie. Revenge.

Every one of those high level superheroes started out as a low level and was forced to meet the business end of my knife. It's like a rite of passage. Only more like a rite of "being horribly stabbed in the face, neck, and chest until I can get out of this god forsaken jungle".

I have dealt each of them a killing blow and watched them quiver as they died. I have then stood on top of their bodies to make a raise practically impossible.

Then, the day comes when they're high enough in level to come back and get their revenge on me. They stroll up in their expensive armor, oh so shiny, and beat up a monster well below their level range.

But it doesn't end there. Oh no. You see, it's not their revenge I love.

It's mine.

Because every one of those heroes eventually takes up a new job. And then they have to walk through my house again.

Yesterday, one such unfortunate soul stepped in my jungle. An unfortunate soul named Maverick.

The first time I had met him was as a level 30 Warrior. And later as a level 30 Paladin. Months later, he came back to deal righteous vengeance upon me. A level 75 Paladin beating up a level 35 Goblin.

Way to go, Top Gun. By the way, Maverick, Goose called and said you have a mig on your six. Loser.

The beauty of it is, I get killed all the time. It's a normal thing for me. So, I deal with it. And I bide my time.

Then poor Maverick decided to pick up a new job. All full of his level 75 glory, he felt unstoppable. He'd been here before.

Oh, but I was waiting.

Here's how the conversation went:

GoblinSmithy>> Hi, my name is Smithy.
GoblinSmithy>> I'll be your murderer tonight.
Maverick>> Oh yeah? Invincible.
Maverick>> Umm... Invincible.
GoblinSmithy>> The special tonight is eye stabbing.
Maverick>> Oh lord, I don't have invincible.
GoblinSmithy>> No, you don't.
GoblinSmithy>> And now you have poor depth perception.

*EYE STAB*

He stepped into my jungle as a level 25 man and left as a level 24 perforated corpse.

Remember, Heroes: he who stabs last stabs best.

I hate heroes, but I love revenge.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Mieh of Hades said...

Do you not mind the chance of having to slice through +1 gear? Yes there are gaps in the shade harnesses, though isn't more effort entailed in adding advanced leathercrafting to bonecrafting?

1:41 PM  
Blogger Thistle said...

Heehee, thanks for a morning of reading amusing posts! What a fun blog this is. :D *bookmarks*

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Pixistix said...

I never hated YOU, Smithy, when I was in the jungle. No no... it was those other people would never learned how to stab you before you stabbed me. You'll recall, I was that squishy little white mage? The one you got to stab roughly 16 times? I'm going to go out on a limb, but I bet stabbing taru is almost a let down. Two pokes and we're face down eating dirt /sigh.

Oh and in case you missed this:

home.comcast.net/~kargsvideos/SanoshinGobEdit.zip

Sanoshin made a movie about you :)!

2:01 PM  
Blogger Goblin Smithy said...

Pixi, nothing personal. I always kill the white mage first.

It's just so much funnier that way.

"We can take him, guys. All I need is a cure III from our white... mage's dead body.

oh lord."

2:53 PM  
Anonymous Pixistix said...

*Laughs* yeah good times... There's a reason I don't play white mage anymore ;).

(By the way, these are brilliant ^.^! Thank you!)

3:19 PM  
Blogger Thistle said...

By the way, would you mind setting up a feed so those of us on other blog sites can see when you update? Looks pretty easy to do, just click a button or two (so easy even a goblin could do it, ha ha!).

http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=698&
query=rss&topic=0&type=f

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog is so amusing! XD Keep it up!

*Bookmarks*

5:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great site »

4:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! here

3:22 PM  

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