Saturday, April 01, 2006

Dynamis - Attempt 2

Once the skin grafts had healed and I could actually move without crying like a little girl, I decided to try Dynamis again. Quitters never win and winners never quit.

Okay... the pay is
really good. I'd do anything as long as they pay me enough.

This time, however, I have come up with a foolproof plan to ensure my safety. It is a complicated, multi-tiered strategy involving cooperation and discipline.

I call it the "Use Shaman as a Meat Shield" plan.

Catchy, huh?

So, I go and find Shaman and we head out for Dynamis-Jeuno. Things are going well until we run into Pathfinder.

GoblinPathfinder>> Where are you guys heading?
GoblinSmithy>> Uhhhh... we're walking in circles waiting for adventurers.
GoblinPathfinder>> Oh, so the usual.
GoblinShaman>> Actually we're heading to Jeuno to try out Dynamis.

I really hate Shaman.

GoblinPathfinder>> WOW! Can I come?
GoblinShaman>> Yes.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinPathfinder>> Stop kidding around, Smitty.

That's not a typo. He calls me Smitty. At this point, I'm actually trying to think of the most painful way to kill him.

Thinking back to my first attempt at Dynamis, I realize (slash remember) that the most painful way for him to die is multiple tier IV black magic spells liquifying him from the inside. Hopefully, a good Thunder IV will knock the stupid out of him. Along with most of his internal organs.

Thus, my plan was revised. It is now the "Use Shaman and Pathfinder as Meat Shields" plan.

GoblinSmithy>> Okay, you can come.
GoblinPathfinder>> Awesome. Hold on and I'll go grab my bee.


GoblinPathfinder>> I'm back.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh rapture.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty, did you get a sunburn?
GoblinSmithy>> Shut up.
GoblinPathfinder>> Cause your skin is all red.
GoblinSmithy>> SHUT UP.
GoblinPathfinder>> ...
GoblinPathfinder>> Hey, look! A path!
GoblinSmithy>> Remind me to murder you later, k?

And so we set off for Dynamis-Jeuno and:

a) riches
b) fame
c) the fiery deaths of Shaman and Pathfinder

Things were looking up.

We log into Dynamis and right away the guys were stoked. Vanguards Smithy, Shaman, and Pathfinder are ready for some action.

And that's when we saw them. An entire alliance of adventurer Black Mages.

BlackMage1 starts casting Thundaga III on Vanguard Shaman.
BlackMage2 starts casting Firaga III on Vanguard Shaman.
BlackMage3 starts casting Firaga III on Vanguard Pathfinder.
BlackMage4 starts casting Thundaga III on Vanguard Pathfinder.
BlackMage5 starts casting Firaga III on Vanguard Pathfinder.
BlackMage6 starts casting Thundaga III on Vanguard Smithy.

All is going according to the pla...


What was that last one?

BlackMage6 starts casting Thundaga III on Vanguard Smithy.

Uh oh.

I'll give my "friends" props though. They stood strong.

VanguardShaman>> Hold the line, boys.
VanguardPathfinder>> United we stand.
VanguardSmithy>> Take it like goblins, guys. (Running away)

Looking over my shoulder, I got to watch Tweedledee and Tweedlestupid simultaneously burst into flames and are horribly electrocuted.

When it's not your flesh being boiled off your body, it's kind of funny.

I would have made it, too. I was just about to run out of range... when I tripped. Over Pathfinder's stupid bee.

Well.. it had been a bee. Apparently, zoning into Dynamis involves any bee-like monsters being smashed into a pile of goo.

So, I trip/slip on the goo-bee just in time to have my blood replaced by several thousand volts of electricity.

Note to self: beat Pathfinder to death with a bee.

I hate Dynamis.


Blogger Patrick Hulman said...

omg i had milk coming out of my nose. i think smitty needs to dienamis more.

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

best regards, nice info »

4:52 PM  

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