Monday, March 27, 2006

Welcome to the Jungle

I'm not a bad guy. Really. It's my job to kill people. I don't really enjoy it.

Well... the bomb thing is kind of fun, I have to admit.

So why is it everytime I'm trying to relax some fool has to run by me? Now, I have to chase you. That's not easy in a set of armor, let me tell you. I can barely breathe in that mask on the best of days. And that subligar... It chafes something fierce.

And then one of two things happens:

1) the guy runs to a zoneline and disappears

What a let down. I've got my stabbing arm all flexed and ready, and this n00b takes off on me. All that build up with no pay off.

Now I know how my wife feels.

2) 6 guys link on me

Is that really fair? I mean, 6 armed people versus one goblin. I don't call that a fair fight.

6 guys team up and beat the hell out of me, and I'm the bad guy. Where's the justice?

Seriously, find somebody else, would you? Do I come to your house, hit you with a rock, and then beat you to death with a bunch of my friends? Do I?

Well... I don't come to your house.

Also, while we're on the topic: why do people rush TOWARD me when I'm holding a bomb?

I'm not going to get into the physics of explosives or anything, but I'm pretty sure the best thing to do is run away from a bomb. Let's see... bomb go boom, things near bomb die. Things not near bomb, no die.

Yeah, that's a hard strategy to crack there. Morons.

As if you waving at me is going to make me drop an incendiary device. It's a bomb for Altana's sake! Moving three feet closer is not going to make me drop it.

Man, I hate people.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if you've ever seen me, or if I've ever had the job of tanking that sword you have, but I've been in that jungle and seeing the mages in my party eat the outer shrapnel of that bomb affects me more than the blast does. Lately I've been running it away from my adventurers, so don't be surprised to find that you may have start throwing harder if the adventurer you're targeting does the same.

By the way, the lack of animosity is mutual.

Off subject question: Did you craft your own sword, and if so did you use crystal synthesis?

4:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First commenter edit: ... to find that you may have[ to] start throwing harder if...

4:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha, I've killed you before. You stank something fierce.

10:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just love this blog!

Thank you goblin Smithy! It's nice to hear your point of view for a change.

2:47 PM  
Blogger Goblin Smithy said...

Yes, I'm sure many of you remember fighting me. Of course, I'm sure people remember the car that hit them as well.

And yeah, I do stink. It's all the n00b blood.

Oh so much n00b blood.

3:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While I don't like you at all, we do share a common enemy: Pathfinder. His stupid bee always gets in the way when I'm tryin to party. So now I've taken joy in killing his pets when he's not looking. And as soon as he grabs another I just do it again. I don't think he's figured out what's happenning yet. Hahhahahahaha

4:23 AM  
Blogger Goblin Smithy said...

Plus, he walks around all the time going "Let's bee friends".

I hate that.

11:30 AM  
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4:54 AM  
Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

Well with all your break taking I guess its time to go back to the beginning. Yay for stuff not read yet!

1:57 PM  
Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

And what is with this "All the best" guy. The nerve.

1:58 PM  
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