Because He's a Fungi.

What is up with Funguars?

I mean, what are they supposed to be? A frog? A mushroom?

I'm not a biologist or anything, but last time I checked those came from different kingdoms. I mean, I've never seen a fish-tree or a bird-flower.

But a fungus-frog? Oh yeah, that makes perfect freakin' sense.

Do you know how annoying those things are?

I was on duty in Ordelle's Caves again and accidentally wandered into the Waterfall room. Suddenly, a key party runs up and starts stabbing me.

A lot.

You cannot imagine the horrible gleam in their eyes as they bashed and slashed away at me, looking for a key.

Now, I'm holding my own. A couple of quick face stabs and they're dropping fast, but there were just too damned many of them.

So, I start looking around for an escape route when I see an army of Funguars just hanging out.

Jackpot.

With a few of them behind me, I'll be knee deep in n00b corpses.

GoblinSmithy>> Hey, Funguar! Give me a hand here!
GoblinSmithy>> Kill the White Mage.

Silence. I mean, they don't even look up at me.

Side note: Do they even look? They don't have eyes as far as I can tell. Or ears. Weird.

But I'm starting to get worried. Damned cheating adventurers and their huge key farming parties.

Six versus one isn't bad enough. Now, they have to bring eight or nine people to beat on me.

GoblinSmithy>> Dammit, man, help me out here.
GoblinSmithy>> Poison them or something.
GoblinSmithy>> Or just breathe on them heavily.
GoblinSmithy>> ANYTHING!

But no. Those stupid damned Funguars just sit there and watch me die. I hope those bastards have pain receptors cause when I get up, someone is going to die.

And then, as if dying wasn't bad enough, one of those Funguars finally decides to answer me.

Funguar>> I'm sorry, your princess is in another castle.

Damn, I hate Funguars.