Stupid DRKS!
Seriously. What the hell?
Who brings a scythe to a fight?
A sword I get. An axe. Even a lance. Those are all good. Katanas make sense, too.
But a scythe? Really?
Were you guys out tending a field and just got called into battle?
I'm sure you had time to go home and get a real weapon. I don't see anyone coming in with a damned tractor, so you could have done your part.
I understand what you're going for. Oooooooooooo, I'm the Grim Reaper. Look at my, big scary blade. Ooooooooooooo.
But honestly, you guys must have stopped one day and said "Is this really the most efficient weapon I could have brought?"
And the delay! Dear Altana!
I was fighting a DRK the other day and I had just enough time between swings to watch an entire season of the OC.
Of course, after I did, I wanted to die, but that's another story.
Seriously, guys, you're already the most emo job class out there. There's no point denying it. We all know it.
I mean your AF gear should come with black lipstick and a Jimmy Eat World CD.
Do you really need a giant emo weapon, too?
It gets annoying really.
Here's how every single fight with a DRK goes:
GoblinSmithy>> Know what your face needs? More knife.
DRK>> The darkness envelops my soul.
GoblinSmithy>> Who in the what now?
DRK>> I am a broken angel with mended wings.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Uhh... oh... kay.
DRK>> My endless torment is without end.
GoblinSmithy>> Well it would be, wouldn't it?
GoblinSmithy>> If it had an end, it wouldn't be endless.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean, now you're annoying AND redundant.
DRK>> My soul sees the light of dawn.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait, wait, wait.
GoblinSmithy>> You said darkness envelops your soul.
GoblinSmithy>> Now, you're contradicting yourself.
DRK>> Tear my life into pieces...
GoblinSmithy>> Oh lord...
DRK>> This is my (( Last Resort ))
GoblinSmithy>> Tell you what...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm just going to kill myself, k?
*OWN FACE STAB*
GoblinSmithy>> Sweet, merciful, emo-less death.
DRK>> I raise the cold steel of my blade.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm DEAD!
GoblinSmithy>> You can shut the hell up now.
I realize that when you signed up for the DRK job, you were actively acknowledging that it was emo. You knew it from the get go.
The name of the job is Dark Knight, for Altana's sake. Your 2 hour is called 'Blood Weapon". This is not news to anyone.
But do we really need to hear about it every thirty seconds? Honestly?
You're all evil and dark and scary. We get it. Now, put down the scythe, get a real weapon...
AND STOP QUOTING SONGS IN YOUR DAMNED MACROS!
Damn, I hate DRKs.
Hate them, hate them, hate them.
Hate.
Who brings a scythe to a fight?
A sword I get. An axe. Even a lance. Those are all good. Katanas make sense, too.
But a scythe? Really?
Were you guys out tending a field and just got called into battle?
I'm sure you had time to go home and get a real weapon. I don't see anyone coming in with a damned tractor, so you could have done your part.
I understand what you're going for. Oooooooooooo, I'm the Grim Reaper. Look at my, big scary blade. Ooooooooooooo.
But honestly, you guys must have stopped one day and said "Is this really the most efficient weapon I could have brought?"
And the delay! Dear Altana!
I was fighting a DRK the other day and I had just enough time between swings to watch an entire season of the OC.
Of course, after I did, I wanted to die, but that's another story.
Seriously, guys, you're already the most emo job class out there. There's no point denying it. We all know it.
I mean your AF gear should come with black lipstick and a Jimmy Eat World CD.
Do you really need a giant emo weapon, too?
It gets annoying really.
Here's how every single fight with a DRK goes:
GoblinSmithy>> Know what your face needs? More knife.
DRK>> The darkness envelops my soul.
GoblinSmithy>> Who in the what now?
DRK>> I am a broken angel with mended wings.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Uhh... oh... kay.
DRK>> My endless torment is without end.
GoblinSmithy>> Well it would be, wouldn't it?
GoblinSmithy>> If it had an end, it wouldn't be endless.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean, now you're annoying AND redundant.
DRK>> My soul sees the light of dawn.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait, wait, wait.
GoblinSmithy>> You said darkness envelops your soul.
GoblinSmithy>> Now, you're contradicting yourself.
DRK>> Tear my life into pieces...
GoblinSmithy>> Oh lord...
DRK>> This is my (( Last Resort ))
GoblinSmithy>> Tell you what...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm just going to kill myself, k?
*OWN FACE STAB*
GoblinSmithy>> Sweet, merciful, emo-less death.
DRK>> I raise the cold steel of my blade.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm DEAD!
GoblinSmithy>> You can shut the hell up now.
I realize that when you signed up for the DRK job, you were actively acknowledging that it was emo. You knew it from the get go.
The name of the job is Dark Knight, for Altana's sake. Your 2 hour is called 'Blood Weapon". This is not news to anyone.
But do we really need to hear about it every thirty seconds? Honestly?
You're all evil and dark and scary. We get it. Now, put down the scythe, get a real weapon...
AND STOP QUOTING SONGS IN YOUR DAMNED MACROS!
Damn, I hate DRKs.
Hate them, hate them, hate them.
Hate.
posted by Goblin Smithy at 8:30 AM
10 Comments:
Things may get hairier for you within the next 200 Vanadiel days or so as relates to this class of weapon...
Word is spreading that the dark knights' scythe-effectiveness is improving, though no other information has traveled my way...
Bright side: You may find less bravehearts aimed at you... who knows
Dark Side: In the same "expansion" of this job's abilities, you may be seeing more drain macros...
/quote *OWN FACE STAB*
I suspect the true genius behind this job is that, in it's own absolutely ridiculous nature, it causes opponents to commit suicide rather than deal with the person playing the job. The weapon delay is akin to Chinese water torture. "When's it coming? Now? Maybe now? OH GAWD - THE TORTURE OF TIME! HIT ME ALREADY!" Eventually, you would sooner introduce new ventilation options (read: stab) into your face than wait for the DRK to finally swing their weapon.
I've witnessed enough "My weapon feeds my soul"/etc-macros to sympathize with your daily plight.
DRK: "Blackness is the bleak eternity eclipsing my heart."
Ya... go be eternally eclipsed elsewhere.
This just really annoys me.
I don't see Dragoons quoting "Jump" by House of Pain.
I don't see White Mages or Red Mages quoting "Invisible" by Clay Aiken (Thank Altana).
The emo has to stop.
To quote another Ninja:
CRAAAAAWWLIING IIINNNN MY JIIIINNNNN!!
Well said, Smithy, well said.
As one who's a constant thorn in the side of DRK(read: I make fun of them. Alot.), I salute you.
~Kitty Monk of Doom
ROFL tooo funny!!!
If only they put "I'm waiting in my cold cell, when the bell begins to chyme...", I could tolerate their macros, in fact, I'd enjoy them. Even spammed.
Gotta ask SE to rename Last Resort into Hallowed be thy Name.
I hate those emo drks !
They make me spam my "The light of Altana bless you from the bottom of my sanctified soul of goody goodness" macro ! Which happens to be the shortest.
Can't put too much text in a CureIII macro, can we ?
Ok... no more song quoting in my macros.
But...is it OK if I quote you in my macros, Smithy?
"You know what your face needs?"
"More knife."
-manai, gilgamesh
i hate drks also... i wish i was a gob instead of a drk sometimes... then i could kill a bunch of people that need killing.
-Abattoir
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