Sunday, April 09, 2006

I Feel So Violated

What is wrong with Thieves?

Seriously.

What is wrong with you people?

Last night, I'm having a nice sensible fight. A group of adventurers has ganged up on me, but that's not unusual. They never fight fair.

But then what happens? The damned Thief sneaks up behind me and weaponskills me...

IN THE ASS!

I mean, we're having a nice normal fight. Eye stab here, face stab there. You know, fun.

And then Pervy McPerverson goes and violates me with a damned knife.

A knife.

What the hell is wrong with Thieves?

That's when I started to really think about it. I realized that every time I've ever fought a party with a Thief, EVERY DAMNED TIME, I got stabbed in the ass.

They even do it when they solo. I'll just be standing around, minding my own business (not inserting knives into people's rectums), and I will hear a soft rustling behind me. This is then followed by a Thief jamming a blade up in me out of nowhere.

If you want a coin, just damned ask me. I'll pay you not to stab me in the ass. One coin is not worth a Viper Bite to my large intestine.

What is wrong with you?

Perhaps you do not understand social etiquette. In most polite circles, it is not considered acceptable to insert your dagger into someone's colon.

Perhaps you do not understand the history of Thieves. Thieves are backstabbers. Get some damned glasses.

Honestly. You guys need to knock that shit off. It gets old. Fast.

I hate Thieves.

10 Comments:

Blogger John-John said...

lol, amusing story. Kind of hipocritical, though...

For a Gob that LOVES to kill adventurers, stab their faces, gang up on them with their fellow gobs as they're training (good ole' days), kill WHM's first (I'm a main WHM), and just be the scourge of Vana'diel as the biggest pain in the ass we have to deal with through out our entire time from noob level and onwards, a little collective "FUCK YOU" from us seems hardly un-ettiquette-like. Take it up the ass, bitch, and like it. Don't like getting picked on? Stop being a pain in our ass by constantly aggro'ing and we might think twice of being a pain in your ass (literally). lol... right. Nope, we'll never stop trying to get you either. Game on!!!

11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smithy, you know if these adventureres keep bothering you, you should get ahold of [GM]Dave. He'll fix it. (can't wait to see the results of that one)

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smithy, I want your babies. Kay?

12:45 PM  
Anonymous Mieh of Hades said...

[quote]
I mean, we're having a nice normal fight. Eye stab here, face stab there. You know, fun.

And then Pervy McPerverson goes and violates me with a damned knife.

A knife.
[/quote]


Would you rather they use a flame sword, or a pair of lynx baghnaks? I fear to touch the issue of a club...

... or a Gladius...
... or a Kaiser sword...

1:03 PM  
Blogger Thistle said...

Hey, it's not all wine and roses for the thieves, either! I just sub THF, but look at this view I have to put up with all the time:

http://www.hot-hot-hot-catlove.com/
ffxi/02-15-2006-BuffaloButt.jpg

I mean really. How often do you mobs wash your asses? Take a shower or a nice sit-down bath before you head out in the morning!

4:46 PM  
Blogger WindexHamster said...

Okay, I almost vomited when I read this. Not because it's disgusting, but rather, because I've been drinking tonight.

A lot.

And this was FAR too funny for a THF main to NOT laugh hysterically at. At 3am. While intoxicated.

I <3 you, whoever you are. You're magnificent!

7:25 AM  
Blogger Goblin Smithy said...

Oh yes, Thistle. You have it soooooo rough.

I mean everyone knows looking at a monsters ass is MUCH worse than getting anally violated with a sword.

11:25 AM  
Blogger Dubird said...

*mad giggles*

This is one of the best things I've run across in a long time.

BTW, I don't stab in the ass unless a LOT of gil is involved. I'm sure to actually aim higher.

Not that it'll stop whoever I'm fighting from turning around and killing me, but anyways....

5:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw, don't worry smithy. I hate thfs too.

4:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read Forex educational training courses

8:56 AM  

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