Thursday, April 20, 2006

Lonely, I Am So Lonely

It is dead here in the Jungles. Absolutely dead.

And not like 25 WAR/ 10 WHM dead either.

There's just nobody here. Every now and then, a high level will run through on their way somewhere, but damn if I'm aggroing one of those guys.

I'm quite happy with the current number of holes in my body, thank you very much.

I never thought I'd actually say it, but I'd love to see an adventurer right now. Even a total and utter n00b would make a great distraction.

As it is, Shaman, Pathfinder, and I are just waiting around for somebody to show up.

We considered going to unlock the new jobs, but quickly dropped that idea when we realized how many people were there.

Besides that new AF gear would make my hips look fat.

I was just about to call it a day when a nice mid-level player wandered by.

GoblinSmithy>> Hey, guys. You want to link and team up on that guy?
GoblinPathfinder>> YEAH! That sounds like fun.
GoblinShaman>> Are you sure?
GoblinShaman>> He looks tough.
GoblinSmithy>> Don't you trust me?
GoblinShaman>> No. Not really.
GoblinPathfinder>> C'mon. Let's do it.
GoblinSmithy>> That's the spirit.
GoblinPathfinder>> Look!
GoblinPathfinder>> A path!
GoblinSmithy>> I despise you.
GoblinShaman>> I guess we can ry.
GoblinSmithy>> All right! CHARGE!

We charged toward him, but as Pathfinder took the lead, I grabbed Shaman by the arm and pulled him to a stop.

I must admit, it was kind of amusing watching Pathfinder charge headlong into a level 55 Thief. Kind of like watching a car accident in slow motion.

Well... except replace one car with a knife and the other car with Pathfinder's lungs.

Still, it was pretty funny.

GoblinPathfinder>> You're a prick.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry. I didn't hear that.
GoblinSmithy>> Maybe you have too much knife in your throat.
GoblinPathfinder>> Haha. Very funny.
GoblinSmithy>> Really?
GoblinSmithy>> I mean, I know it was funny.
GoblinSmithy>> But I didn't think you'd appreciate the humor.
GoblinPathfinder>> I really hate you.
GoblinSmithy>> It was only a joke.
GoblinSmithy>> He's still here, so if you hp, we can get revenge.
GoblinPathfinder>> Okay.
GoblinSmithy>> Hurry up!

So, Pathfinder homepoints and then runs right back to our camp. Luckily, the Thief was still there.

GoblinSmithy>> Are you ready?
GoblinSmithy>> Let's really beat him down this time.
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't know...
GoblinSmithy>> Are you going to let him get away with what I did to you?
GoblinPathfinder>> Hell no!
GoblinSmithy>> Then let's DO IT!

With a deafening yell, we charged toward the Thief.

Or, more aptly, Pathfinder charged toward the Thief.

Things did not turn out well.

GoblinSmithy>> What's wrong, Pathfinder?
GoblinSmithy>> You're looking down.
GoblinPathfinder>> YOU BASTARD!
GoblinSmithy>> Don't talk to Shaman like that.
GoblinSmithy>> He's sensitive.
GoblinPathfinder>> I meant you.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh...
GoblinSmithy>> Would you believe it was an accident?
GoblinPathfinder>> An accident?
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah. I slipped on oneof your internal organs from last time.
GoblinSmithy>> You know, when I got you killed earlier.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're a jerk.
GoblinSmithy>> I think it was a kidney.
GoblinPathfinder>> I really hate you.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait.
GoblinSmithy>> I have some good news.
GoblinPathfinder>> Really? What?
GoblinSmithy>> Your bee survived.
GoblinPathfinder>> He did?
GoblinSmithy>> Until I stepped on him.
GoblinPathfinder>> ...
GoblinPathfinder>> I thought you said you had good news.
GoblinSmithy>> I do.
GoblinSmithy>> I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance...

I didn't see Pathfinder after that. He must have had something else to do.

Luckily, the day was looking much more amusing.

Slow days are so much better when you have friends to send to their death.

P.S. I hate Pathfinder.


Blogger Thistle said...

GoblinPathfinder>> Look!
GoblinPathfinder>> A path!

I'm sorry you hate him, but he's just about the cutest goblin ever.

Please stop killing him off, okay?

7:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pathfider seems to be getting cynical in his old age...

9:19 PM  
Anonymous Phaedra said...

Wait a few days my dear Smithy ... and your jungle will be overrun with people and their shiny new Puppets ... and you'll have a whole new set of jobs to poke holes into.

10:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent. Thank you

11:35 PM  
Anonymous 75 Ranger Who Shoots Random Goblins said...

Hey Smithy, love your blog man. Tell yah what, next time you want to see Pathfinders organs strewn about, send me a tell, I'll come EES him for you just cause thats the kinda guy I am. BTW, {Can I add you to my friendslist?}

2:20 AM  
Blogger Reeree said...

That sounds just like my day.

There was this guy sitting around Windurst Woods shouting for help learning Blue Magic. Someone from his LS must have dragged him through unlocking it, or maybe he was that fast at buying the character on ebay.

BlueNoob>> how I mine for Blue Spellz?!?
Reeree>> «Party» «Do you need it?»
BlueNoob>> Thx!
Reeree>> «This way!»
BlueNoob>> ru mail or femail?
BlueNoob>> im not reely a girl i just like to look at mithra boobies lol
Reeree>> «I don't speak any English.»

Reeree points at the Goblin Fisher.

Now, I've read enough from the people who comb the data files, that Goblins get Bomb Toss at way lower levels than Blue Mages can learn it.

I timed my Disband with his attack perfectly.

Goblin Fisher readies Bomb Toss.
Reeree waves goodbye to BlueNoob.
BlueNoob takes 376 points of damage.
BlueNoob is defeated by Goblin Fisher.
BlueNoob falls to level 4.

BlueNoob>> omg!!!111 i delvls!
Reeree cheers Goblin Fisher on.
Reeree>> «mistake»
Reeree psychs up alongside BlueNoob
Reeree>> «Invite to join party.»
BlueNoob>> ><
BlueNoob>> can u call 4 rz?
Reeree>> «I'm sorry. I'm busy now.»

5:16 AM  
Anonymous Suhfarufa said...

Hihi smithy!! I know you're feeling down with this recent expansion, but I found something to boost your spirits!!! It's even better than the new job's AF (and it won't make your hips look fat)!Check it out:

1:28 PM  
Anonymous Jirizo Reborn said...

Suhfarufa= Suck up lamewad that gives invalid links...

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The link works.
Just dont include the ( at the end.

9:59 PM  
Anonymous suhfarufa said...

I'm not sucking's just that I'm leveling Ninja up and about to be in the Jungles, so I figured I'd wave to the Goblin wearing the Beastman shirt right before our party decimates him.

7:55 PM  
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