Lonely, I Am So Lonely

It is dead here in the Jungles. Absolutely dead.

And not like 25 WAR/ 10 WHM dead either.

There's just nobody here. Every now and then, a high level will run through on their way somewhere, but damn if I'm aggroing one of those guys.

I'm quite happy with the current number of holes in my body, thank you very much.

I never thought I'd actually say it, but I'd love to see an adventurer right now. Even a total and utter n00b would make a great distraction.

As it is, Shaman, Pathfinder, and I are just waiting around for somebody to show up.

We considered going to unlock the new jobs, but quickly dropped that idea when we realized how many people were there.

Besides that new AF gear would make my hips look fat.

I was just about to call it a day when a nice mid-level player wandered by.

GoblinSmithy>> Hey, guys. You want to link and team up on that guy?
GoblinPathfinder>> YEAH! That sounds like fun.
GoblinShaman>> Are you sure?
GoblinShaman>> He looks tough.
GoblinSmithy>> Don't you trust me?
GoblinShaman>> No. Not really.
GoblinPathfinder>> C'mon. Let's do it.
GoblinSmithy>> That's the spirit.
GoblinPathfinder>> Look!
GoblinPathfinder>> A path!
GoblinSmithy>> I despise you.
GoblinShaman>> I guess we can ry.
GoblinSmithy>> All right! CHARGE!

We charged toward him, but as Pathfinder took the lead, I grabbed Shaman by the arm and pulled him to a stop.

I must admit, it was kind of amusing watching Pathfinder charge headlong into a level 55 Thief. Kind of like watching a car accident in slow motion.

Well... except replace one car with a knife and the other car with Pathfinder's lungs.

Still, it was pretty funny.

GoblinPathfinder>> You're a prick.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry. I didn't hear that.
GoblinSmithy>> Maybe you have too much knife in your throat.
GoblinPathfinder>> Haha. Very funny.
GoblinSmithy>> Really?
GoblinSmithy>> I mean, I know it was funny.
GoblinSmithy>> But I didn't think you'd appreciate the humor.
GoblinPathfinder>> I really hate you.
GoblinSmithy>> It was only a joke.
GoblinSmithy>> He's still here, so if you hp, we can get revenge.
GoblinPathfinder>> Okay.
GoblinSmithy>> Hurry up!

So, Pathfinder homepoints and then runs right back to our camp. Luckily, the Thief was still there.

GoblinSmithy>> Are you ready?
GoblinSmithy>> Let's really beat him down this time.
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't know...
GoblinSmithy>> Are you going to let him get away with what I did to you?
GoblinPathfinder>> Hell no!
GoblinSmithy>> Then let's DO IT!

With a deafening yell, we charged toward the Thief.

Or, more aptly, Pathfinder charged toward the Thief.

Things did not turn out well.

GoblinSmithy>> What's wrong, Pathfinder?
GoblinSmithy>> You're looking down.
GoblinPathfinder>> YOU BASTARD!
GoblinSmithy>> Don't talk to Shaman like that.
GoblinSmithy>> He's sensitive.
GoblinPathfinder>> I meant you.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh...
GoblinSmithy>> Would you believe it was an accident?
GoblinPathfinder>> An accident?
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah. I slipped on oneof your internal organs from last time.
GoblinSmithy>> You know, when I got you killed earlier.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're a jerk.
GoblinSmithy>> I think it was a kidney.
GoblinPathfinder>> I really hate you.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait.
GoblinSmithy>> I have some good news.
GoblinPathfinder>> Really? What?
GoblinSmithy>> Your bee survived.
GoblinPathfinder>> He did?
GoblinSmithy>> Until I stepped on him.
GoblinPathfinder>> ...
GoblinPathfinder>> I thought you said you had good news.
GoblinSmithy>> I do.
GoblinSmithy>> I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance...

I didn't see Pathfinder after that. He must have had something else to do.

Luckily, the day was looking much more amusing.

Slow days are so much better when you have friends to send to their death.

P.S. I hate Pathfinder.