Friday, April 14, 2006

Dynamis - Attempt 3

I have never claimed to be a fast learner.

No, no. But even I had thought I was smart enough to stay away from the flesh melting hell that is Dynamis.

Horribly burn and disfigure me once (or twice. stupid Pathfinder), shame on you. Horribly burn and disfigure me three times, shame on me.

Apparently, I'm a slower learner than I thought.

So, I head into Dynamis and, immediately, I run for my life. Even if I am a slow learner, I'm not stupid.

Hiding = No Burning

No Burning = Yay!

I was running full speed, looking for a place to hide. Unfortunately, Dynamis is so freakin' dark that I couldn't even see where I was going.

And my mask wasn't exactly helping the situation.

Finally, I see a little space around a wall to hide in. I look around everywhere for adventurers and then duck behind the wall...

And run face first into Shaman.

VanguardShaman>> Smithy!
VanguardShaman>> I almost lit you up.
VanguardSmithy>> Yeah.
VanguardSmithy>> Cause that's never happened to me before.
VanguardShaman>> Oh. Right.
VanguardSmithy>> Shut up.
VanguardShaman>> The scars are looking much...
VanguardSmithy>> SHUT UP!
VanguardSmithy>> This could be worse, you know.
VanguardSmithy>> Pathfinder could be here.

The second I said it, I knew it was a mistake.

Just as the words left my mouth, Pathfinder came around the corner.

VanguardPathfinder>> Hey! Shaman! And Smitty!
VanguardSmithy>> Die in a fire.
VanguardPathfinder>> What?
VanguardShaman>> He said "Hi".
VanguardSmithy>> I said "DIE IN A FIRE!"
VanguardPathfinder>> Always kidding around, Smitty.
VanguardSmithy>> That's me. Always joking.
VanguardSmithy>> die in a fire, you stupid bastard.

Things were looking pretty good when, suddenly, we heard approaching footsteps and shouting.

I looked a Shaman and he looked back at me. We both nodded.

VanguardSmithy>> Hey, Pathfinder, old buddy.
VanguardSmithy>> Stick your head out and see who's out there.
VanguardPathfinder>> Okay.

Apparently, he is good for something...

BlackMage1 starts casting Firaga III on Vanguard Pathfinder.
BlackMage2 starts casting Firaga III on Vanguard Pathfinder.
BlackMage3 starts casting Firaga III on Vanguard Pathfinder.
BlackMage4 starts casting Firaga III on Vanguard Pathfinder.
BlackMage5 starts casting Firaga III on Vanguard Pathfinder.
BlackMage6 starts casting Firaga III on Vanguard Pathfinder.

... Like kindling.

VanguardSmithy>> Oh DAMN!
VanguardPathfinder>> Is that bad?
VanguardSmithy>> Shaman, he's toast!
VanguardSmithy>> RUN FOR IT!

We took off running. I mean, we took off like OJ Simpson.

After a quick sprint, Shaman and I stopped to catch our breath. By my count, Pathfinder should be doing a good impression of the Human Torch in about 4 seconds.

3 seconds.

2 seconds.

VanguardPathfinder>> Hey, guys... why are we running?

He didn't just say we, did he?

1 second.

VanguardSmithy>> Remind me to hurt you. A lot.

Damn, I hate Pathfinder.

Oh. And Firaga III. I
hate Firaga III.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

ya man sry about that, i just do as im told. they said burn that pathfinder to hell just happened to b caught in the magical backlash.

~Blackmage 3~

12:50 PM  
Blogger Taskmage said...

On the bright side, he did die in a fire.

12:58 PM  
Blogger Thistle said...

Oh, hey! I ran into you while farming in the Glacier last night!

Sorry things didn't go so well (at least for one of us). And say, do you want to borrow some cash? Nowadays you can't do much with 88g...

Oh, and by the way, I think Goblin Pathfinder must read your blog! I saw him there as well, but now he has a tiger pet! Much much cooler than the bee, if you ask me.

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Goblin Golem said...

Dang man sorry to here that. Tell you what if you come back a 4th time and pathfinder follows you give me a buzz and i'll sit on him

1:15 PM  
Blogger Goblin Smithy said...


He did indeed die in a fire, but I was hoping he would do so at some distance from me.

It is difficult to appreciate the irony when your skin is being turned into lava.

1:40 PM  
Anonymous goblin pathfinder said...

Oh, a path there !

1:43 PM  
Blogger Goblin Smithy said...

Oh, shut up.

I hate you.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous Hobgoblin Angler said...

You deserved it, calling me ugly.

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should post these stories on an FFXI related site... like There was a recent offer over there to create sub-domains for story tellers, maybe you should take them up on that >_>

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should post these stories on an FFXI related site... like There was a recent offer over there to create sub-domains for story tellers, maybe you should take them up on that >_>

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Vanguard Assassin said...


Stupid Goblins...
Yagudo much better than stupid goblins! Yagudo burns goblins! Kwark!

6:44 PM  
Anonymous Goblin Golem said...

Be quiet over there bird brain. Atleast we don't get beat up my catgirls and little bears 24/7. /em stneaks up on pathfinder and sits on him.

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Elestial said...

Maybe when you're in Dynamis you should befriend some nice goblin summoner to give you Earthen Ward? Or maybe get a whm subjob and learn barfira or something. :(

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Straydog said...

Hm...The dynamis attempts got a little old. I enjoy reading your other posts though.

3:41 AM  
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10:48 PM  

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