Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Shiver Me Timbers

Did you really think I wouldn't have something to say about the Corsairs?

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

I just don't get it. I honestly don't.

Perhaps one of you people (read: morons) can explain it to me.

You have so many jobs available to you. You can be a Dark Knight wielding huge weapons and powerful magic. You could be a Black Mage and harness the elemental forces, bending them to your will. You could be a ninja and employ mystical arts to evade opponents.

But you just had to be a pirate.

A pirate.

What is wrong with you people?

You are living in an amazing fantasy world where warriors and mages fight against monsters, and you just had to be a pirate.

Now, here's where you explain why...

Go ahead...

You can't, can you?

You spent so long writing "OMFG we need teh pir8te in FFXI" forum threads, that you never really asked yourself why.

And now, you're trying to look serious wearing a pirate hat and a frilly shirt.

I'm going to be really scared of you.

Just as soon as I can stop laughing.

By the way, Jack Sparrow called. He says you're retarded.

Today, I had the pleasure (read: misfortune) of fighting against a party with a Pirate in Yhoator Jungle.

I mean a Corsair.

No. I was right the first time. I meant a Pirate.

Ninja>> Provoke -> Goblin Smithy!
Ninja>> Let me get hate first.
RedMage>> Casting (( Slow )) on Goblin Smithy.
Corsair>> Using Chaos Roll
Corsair>> C'MON 4!
GoblinSmithy>> Wait a second...
GoblinSmithy>> Is he serious?
WhiteMage>> Who?
GoblinSmithy>> Black Beard the Moron over there.
GoblinSmithy>> Is he kidding?
Corsair>> What? Hell no!
GoblinSmithy>> What's with the gun?
GoblinSmithy>> Does that shoot darts or those nerf balls?
Corsair>> Shut up!
Ninja>> He's kind of got a point.
Monk>> The gun is a little much.
Corsair>> I said shut up!
GoblinSmithy>> Careful, guys...
GoblinSmithy>> That supersoaker of his might go off.
Corsair>> I hate you.
GoblinSmithy>> Don't you mean "Rrrrrrrrrrrrr"?
Corsair>> I'll show you.
Corsair>> If I roll a 4, you are so dead.
GoblinSmithy>> What do you have to roll to be less retarded?
Corsair>> Dammit! Shut the hell up!
GoblinSmithy>> Can I say one last thing?
Corsair>> WHAT?
GoblinSmithy>> What's Peter Pan like?
GoblinSmithy>> Told you so.
Corsair>> I HATE YOU!

He must have rolled the wrong number or something because the next thing you know, he had a new job Trait.

Job Trait: Face Shield
- automatically raises the level of knife in face

Maybe he should have rolled a 4.

Seriously, guys. Get a real job.

Unless you're six years old. And then, totally be a Pirate.

I hate Corsairs.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-l_4F-jtM6g&search=FFXI copy and paste this to watch Goblin (vangaurd) smithy dance with all his friends even pathfinder!

10:09 PM  
Anonymous FearXI said...

I have to say I love your work.
I never LoL'd so much XD

10:48 PM  
Blogger Squirt said...

Mr Bobbo-Gobbo,

Are you going to start feeding pirates to cronocrocadillios?

I love poofy shirts! Yay!

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

did you hearabout the new pirate movie?
It's rated Arrrrrr.

12:37 AM  
Blogger Artos said...

But I don't want to be a pirate!


7:46 AM  
Blogger Reeree said...


1:50 PM  
Blogger Pisces6 said...

Mr. Goblin Smithy, I have a question... Do you use an axe or a knife? o.O?

Because the last time I was in Yhoator, I could have sworn you were using a mean one-handed axe. o.O;;;

2:43 PM  
Anonymous Hammrock said...

Smithy... you rule Vana'Diel. Keep up the kick ass work, it brings light into my boring daily life.

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Hume BLM said...

" Mr. Goblin Smithy, I have a question... Do you use an axe or a knife? o.O?

Because the last time I was in Yhoator, I could have sworn you were using a mean one-handed axe. o.O;;;"

That's the goblin bouncer, who is much stronger than the smithy though wear similar armor, the bouncer is level 55-ish, while smithy is less.

12:19 AM  
Anonymous Phoe of Sylph said...

Oh yeah, go ahead and put the smithy down like that Hume BLM... Gobs have feelings too. Don't compare him to some n00b Lv.55 ebay-gobby who obviously bought that account.

Bouncers < Smithy

12:52 PM  
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10:09 PM  
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10:04 PM  
Blogger matt said...

Make your jokes, Smithy, at least we have firearms, unlike bards, who...apparently sing their way to victory?

7:02 PM  

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