Saturday, November 11, 2006

How Dare You?

This may sound odd to you at first, but, if you bear with me, it may make sense later.

Are you ready?


I am not a pimp.

I do not walk around with a cane or wear bright colors or wear a giant hat with a feather in it.

See? That should prove my point.

Smithy =/= pimp.

Remember that. It will be an important part in this story.

Today, I was on duty in Yhoator Jungle when Shaman comes up to me. Right away, I could tell he wanted something.

He had a look in his eye.

GoblinShaman>> Hi, Smithy.
GoblinSmithy>> Hey, Shaman.
GoblinSmithy>> How's it going?
GoblinShaman>> Good, good.
GoblinShaman>> You have a chocobo right?
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah.
GoblinShaman>> He should be fully grown by now, right?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Not exactly.
GoblinSmithy>> We had a set back.
GoblinShaman>> Oh.
GoblinSmithy>> But I'm raising a new one now.
GoblinShaman>> Okay.
GoblinShaman>> Do you have an extra chococard?
GoblinSmithy>> A who in the what now?
GoblinShaman>> A chococard.
GoblinShaman>> I need one for my chocobo.
GoblinSmithy>> No, I don't.
GoblinSmithy>> What do they do?
GoblinShaman>> Well, you need two cards in order to get them to...
GoblinShaman>> You know...
GoblinShaman>> Bump tarus.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm not following.
GoblinShaman>> Sigh.
GoblinShaman>> You need to cards to get them to have sex.
GoblinShaman>> I wanted a card from your chocobo.


Okay, everyone remember the point I made earlier? Good.

What the hell is wrong with people?

Did he really just walk up to me and say "Hey, can my pet bang the hell out of your pet?"

I'm not running some kind of crazy chocobo brothel here. It is neither a business nor personal hobby of mine to organize sexual encounters between chocobos.

What kind of sick freak would even...

GoblinSmithy>> Don't worry.
GoblinSmithy>> I know someone who can help.
GoblinShaman>> Really?
GoblinShaman>> Thanks.
GoblinSmithy>> And here's a chococard with his name on it.
GoblinShaman>> Huh.
GoblinShaman>> Who names their chocobo Furrier?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, don't worry about that.
GoblinSmithy>> I guarantee your chocobo will get some action.


I never said the thing would get pregnant. I just promised action.

Hot goblin on chocobo action.

Now, Shaman is probably not going to be very happy with me once he witnesses the violation of his pet chocobo at the hands of an ugly little goblin.

I should just call the burn ward now and set up an appointment.


Anonymous mech said...

Book a room? I'm sure they've got a special one set aside, just for you. Heck, you probably keep them in business single-handedly.

1:44 AM  
Blogger Carrin said...

Now, set up a camera to record Shaman's face as he figure out what's about to happen, then watch it change quickly as it starts to happen.

That should keep you busy while in the burn ward.

6:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh god.....the nightmares..

5:56 PM  
Blogger wai said...

"I should just call the burn ward now and set up an appointment."

Yeah, you should probably get on that.

5:51 AM  
Blogger creature124 said...

I'm kind of surprised you don't have a reserved room already...

10:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I do not walk around with a cane or wear bright colors or wear a giant hat with a feather in it."

I missed that at first. Pimp hat ftw!

1:28 AM  
Blogger token black guy said...

yoyoyo u iz da pimp masta flash wind god of pain and pestilence fa shop holla back g dawg! i be bangin dem chocoz together all da time when i be needin some loot! holla! aint nuddin betta den 2 black chocoboz gettin dey freek on nahmeen!?? i gotz me a black choco and itz still tight az hell cuz it only got dicked up by a red one holllaaa!

4:59 PM  

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