Falling Apart Without Me
Sigh. It's hard, hard life.
At least, it would have been...
I was on my couch this morning, playing some FFXII, when I heard the phone start to ring. I checked the caller ID only to see it was work calling me.
Didn't I break up with work yesterday?
Why the hell are they calling me?
Sorry, bitches. I'm not at home. Please leave a message after the kiss my ass.
Of course, the sensible thing to do would be to answer the phone.
I, on the other hand, tore the phone out of the wall and threw it out the window.
Then my cell phone rang.
Apparently, they can't take a hint.
Still, it may involve me getting money, so I answered it.
GoblinSmithy>> What do you want?
Boss>> Oh thank Altana!
Boss>> You're there!
GoblinSmithy>> And you're there.
GoblinSmithy>> This has been fun, really.
GoblinSmithy>> What is it?
GoblinSmithy>> This had better be good.
Boss>> We want you to come back.
Boss>> We need you to come back.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm listening.
Boss>> The place has gone insane.
Boss>> With no Smithy, the adventurers are running loose.
Boss>> They're actually walking through the jungle.
GoblinSmithy>> Hold on a second. Let me write this down.
GoblinSmithy>> How do you spell "Not my damned problem"?
Boss>> Oh please, Smithy.
Boss>> Please come back.
GoblinSmithy>> Why should I?
Boss>> We'll double your pay.
GoblinSmithy>> Did you say triple my pay?
Boss>> I said double.
GoblinSmithy>> Tell me if this sounds like a phone hanging up.
Boss>> I said triple! I said triple!
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you did.
Boss>> So... You'll come back?
GoblinSmithy>> I don't know...
Boss>> Hold on a second.
Boss>> Someone here wants to speak to you.
GoblinSmithy>> Who in the hell would want to...
GoblinPathfinder>> Hiya, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> Are you coming back?
GoblinPathfinder>> Mr. Beeington says hi.
GoblinSmithy>> Put the boss back on.
GoblinPathfinder>> Bye, Smitty.
Boss>> What is it?
Boss>> Are you coming back?
GoblinSmithy>> I'll come back on one condition.
Boss>> Name it.
GoblinSmithy>> You have to kill Pathfinder.
Boss>> Is that it?
Boss>> I was going to do that anyway.
Boss>> He hasn't shut up all morning.
GoblinSmithy>> Then I guess you've got a Smithy.
What can I say? I may be a sell-out, but at least I'm a sell-out who's gettin' PAID!
Smithy's all about the bling.