Uh Oh
Oh damn oh damn oh damn.
I got the call yesterday.
What call you may ask?
Well, as you know I am a bit of a ladies man. Something about my charisma and raw animal power draws the women to me like moths to a flame.
And who am I to turn them down?
Unfortunately, this has created a bit of a problem for me.
See, all the guys reading this just went "Oh crap. He means THE call."
ElvaanFemale>> Smithy?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... Hi...
GoblinSmithy>> I thought we weren't going to call each other?
GoblinSmithy>> You know... It being a one night stand.
ElvaanFemale>> I need to tell you something.
GoblinSmithy>> Since this is not part of the same night...
GoblinSmithy>> I think you're breaking some form of legal contract.
ElvaanFemale>> Stop.
ElvaanFemale>> This is important.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean, I gave you enough gil for a chocobo home.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought that was a nice way to end it.
ElvaanFemale>> SHUT UP!
ElvaanFemale>> I'm pregnant.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
ElvaanFemale>> Smithy?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
ElvaanFemale>> Say something.
GoblinSmithy>> H...
GoblinSmithy>> Wh...
GoblinSmithy>> Ar...
ElvaanFemale>> Okay.
ElvaanFemale>> Say something intelligent.
GoblinSmithy>> I...
GoblinSmithy>> You...
ElvaanFemale>> Yay! You can use pronouns!
ElvaanFemale>> Can we hurry this up?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
ElvaanFemale>> Sigh.
ElvaanFemale>> I'm coming over.
I'm not sure how long it took her to get to my place.
I'm not sure because I spent the entire time jabbering like a moron and trying to wrap my head around the idea of being a father.
Me, a father... There has to be a law against that.
When she got there, I decided to ask a very important question.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure?
ElvaanFemale>> Of course I'm sure.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean...
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure it's mine?
Quick note, guys: don't ever ask that question.
Unless you like getting slapped.
Whatever floats your boat.
GoblinSmithy>> I take that as a yes.
ElvaanFemale>> I can't believe you asked me that.
GoblinSmithy>> Well, you did sleep with a goblin.
GoblinSmithy>> Your standards can't be that high.
ElvaanFemale>> This is serious.
ElvaanFemale>> I don't know what we're going to do.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry...
GoblinSmithy>> Did you say we?
ElvaanFemale>> Of course I did.
ElvaanFemale>> We need to figure this out together.
GoblinSmithy>> Might I make a suggestion?
ElvaanFemale>> Yes, please.
And that's when I pushed her down some stairs.
What? Don't look at me like that.
What did you expect?
I got the call yesterday.
What call you may ask?
Well, as you know I am a bit of a ladies man. Something about my charisma and raw animal power draws the women to me like moths to a flame.
And who am I to turn them down?
Unfortunately, this has created a bit of a problem for me.
See, all the guys reading this just went "Oh crap. He means THE call."
ElvaanFemale>> Smithy?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... Hi...
GoblinSmithy>> I thought we weren't going to call each other?
GoblinSmithy>> You know... It being a one night stand.
ElvaanFemale>> I need to tell you something.
GoblinSmithy>> Since this is not part of the same night...
GoblinSmithy>> I think you're breaking some form of legal contract.
ElvaanFemale>> Stop.
ElvaanFemale>> This is important.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean, I gave you enough gil for a chocobo home.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought that was a nice way to end it.
ElvaanFemale>> SHUT UP!
ElvaanFemale>> I'm pregnant.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
ElvaanFemale>> Smithy?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
ElvaanFemale>> Say something.
GoblinSmithy>> H...
GoblinSmithy>> Wh...
GoblinSmithy>> Ar...
ElvaanFemale>> Okay.
ElvaanFemale>> Say something intelligent.
GoblinSmithy>> I...
GoblinSmithy>> You...
ElvaanFemale>> Yay! You can use pronouns!
ElvaanFemale>> Can we hurry this up?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
ElvaanFemale>> Sigh.
ElvaanFemale>> I'm coming over.
I'm not sure how long it took her to get to my place.
I'm not sure because I spent the entire time jabbering like a moron and trying to wrap my head around the idea of being a father.
Me, a father... There has to be a law against that.
When she got there, I decided to ask a very important question.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure?
ElvaanFemale>> Of course I'm sure.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean...
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure it's mine?
Quick note, guys: don't ever ask that question.
Unless you like getting slapped.
Whatever floats your boat.
GoblinSmithy>> I take that as a yes.
ElvaanFemale>> I can't believe you asked me that.
GoblinSmithy>> Well, you did sleep with a goblin.
GoblinSmithy>> Your standards can't be that high.
ElvaanFemale>> This is serious.
ElvaanFemale>> I don't know what we're going to do.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry...
GoblinSmithy>> Did you say we?
ElvaanFemale>> Of course I did.
ElvaanFemale>> We need to figure this out together.
GoblinSmithy>> Might I make a suggestion?
ElvaanFemale>> Yes, please.
And that's when I pushed her down some stairs.
What? Don't look at me like that.
What did you expect?
posted by Goblin Smithy at 1:17 AM
17 Comments:
Bad Bad goblin. I'm going to have to kill 6 or 7 of you now.
Elvaan, huh?
I guess beggers can't be choosers.
well maybee you could offer the poor thing to pathfinder to replace Mr.Beeington after you (accidentaly) kill it.
hell nah! ef dat noise B! i woulda been like "nah ho! dat aint mah baby u a slut yo! i knowz u be hittin them otha fooz in da hood errday!! get up off diz pimp i know u be wantin mah loot foo!" HOLLA!! datz how u get rid of dem hoz G!!!
^^^^ please make him go away!!!
GoblinSmithy>> I...
GoblinSmithy>> You...
ElvaanFemale>> Yay! You can use pronouns!
Hooray for pronouns!
Bernard: "You know what they say: To save the world, you have to push a few old ladies down the stairs."
How true...
And that's when I pushed her down some stairs.
Bwaaaahahahahaaha!
Geez, gotta love the cruel intentions of you humans. Good thing this is a fictional story.
Please kids, don't try that shit at home or you will suffer the consequences.
hell nah yo! one of my hoz got prego and tried dat mess wit me yo! i str8 up gut punched her yo holla!
Well if that wasn't predictable from the moment she said "I'm coming over."
Glad to see you've lost your touch.
Lost his touch? rofl I think it's funny as ever. Keep it up!
http://www.onzin.com/pics.php?cat=11&id=5874
It's just on spectacular fail after another.
It's just one spectacular fail after another.
FIX'D
holla back turk u mah boy dog! you mah boy!
I actually was expecting a face stab to be honest.
Good way to improvise though.
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