I got the call yesterday.
What call you may ask?
Well, as you know I am a bit of a ladies man. Something about my charisma and raw animal power draws the women to me like moths to a flame.
And who am I to turn them down?
Unfortunately, this has created a bit of a problem for me.
See, all the guys reading this just went "Oh crap. He means THE call."
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... Hi...
GoblinSmithy>> I thought we weren't going to call each other?
GoblinSmithy>> You know... It being a one night stand.
ElvaanFemale>> I need to tell you something.
GoblinSmithy>> Since this is not part of the same night...
GoblinSmithy>> I think you're breaking some form of legal contract.
ElvaanFemale>> This is important.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean, I gave you enough gil for a chocobo home.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought that was a nice way to end it.
ElvaanFemale>> SHUT UP!
ElvaanFemale>> I'm pregnant.
ElvaanFemale>> Say something.
ElvaanFemale>> Say something intelligent.
ElvaanFemale>> Yay! You can use pronouns!
ElvaanFemale>> Can we hurry this up?
ElvaanFemale>> I'm coming over.
I'm not sure how long it took her to get to my place.
I'm not sure because I spent the entire time jabbering like a moron and trying to wrap my head around the idea of being a father.
Me, a father... There has to be a law against that.
When she got there, I decided to ask a very important question.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure?
ElvaanFemale>> Of course I'm sure.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean...
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure it's mine?
Quick note, guys: don't ever ask that question.
Unless you like getting slapped.
Whatever floats your boat.
GoblinSmithy>> I take that as a yes.
ElvaanFemale>> I can't believe you asked me that.
GoblinSmithy>> Well, you did sleep with a goblin.
GoblinSmithy>> Your standards can't be that high.
ElvaanFemale>> This is serious.
ElvaanFemale>> I don't know what we're going to do.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry...
GoblinSmithy>> Did you say we?
ElvaanFemale>> Of course I did.
ElvaanFemale>> We need to figure this out together.
GoblinSmithy>> Might I make a suggestion?
ElvaanFemale>> Yes, please.
And that's when I pushed her down some stairs.
What? Don't look at me like that.
What did you expect?