Thursday, October 05, 2006

Shaman Returns

Many of you have been asking where Shaman is. I realize he hasn't been in the blog for quite some time.

After the intervention to help him stop buying gil, he barred himself inside his house and hasn't come out since.

At least... Not until today.

I just happened to be wandering past Shaman's neighborhood when I noticed his door was ajar.

Right away, I started to worry. Shaman's the kind of guy that you always want to know where he is. Having someone who can set you on fire sneaking around is a bad idea.

And since personal experience has proven that I am highly flammable, I needed to find him as fast as possible.

I really didn't want him taking me by surpri...

And that's when I felt a soft tapping on my shoulder.

Without even turning, I knew it was him. I instinctively closed my eyes and waited for the sharp crackle of flame and the pungent odor of my burning flesh.

And waited...

And waited...

And... Nothing happened.

I turned slowly and there was Shaman. He looked like he had been sleeping under a dumpster for a week.

The weird thing though was the way his eyes looked. They were dull and far away.

GoblinSmithy>> Shaman?
GoblinSmithy>> Are you okay, Shaman?
GoblinShaman>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Wake up!
GoblinSmithy>> WAKE UP!

When it became readily apparent that yelling wasn't going to work, I decided drastic measures were in order.

Also, I have to say I got a little bit of enjoyment out of slapping that bastard.

GoblinShaman>> What the hell are you doing?!
GoblinSmithy>> I'm trying to wake you up.
GoblinSmithy>> You're kind of out of it.
GoblinShaman>> Couldn't you have just pinched me?
GoblinSmithy>> Huh...
GoblinSmithy>> Never thought about it.
GoblinShaman>> You just wanted to hit me, didn't you?
GoblinSmithy>> Little bit, yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> I didn't expect you to wake up after the first one.
GoblinSmithy>> Ruins all the fun.
GoblinShaman>> So freakin' sorry to disappoint you.
GoblinShaman>> Jerk.
GoblinSmithy>> Man, you owe me for that intervention.
GoblinShaman>> Yeah, yeah.
GoblinShaman>> That's actually why I came to find you.

This was it. This was when he was going to set me on fire.

I could feel it.

GoblinShaman>> I wanted to thank you.

...

Yeah, maybe I overreacted.

GoblinSmithy>> You're thanking me?
GoblinShaman>> Yes.
GoblinShaman>> You helped me see that it was wrong.
GoblinSmithy>> Thanking me?
GoblinShaman>> Yes, you.
GoblinShaman>> I don't know what would have happened to me.
GoblinShaman>> Gil selling is an ugly place.
GoblinShaman>> You helped me.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Thanking me?
GoblinShaman>> I know it must have been hard.
GoblinShaman>> Having to take care of me.
GoblinShaman>> And then giving all of my stuff to charity.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> Charity.
GoblinShaman>> Seriously, man. Thank you.
GoblinSmithy>> Don't worry about it.
GoblinSmithy>> I do like to give back to the community, you know.

Wow. It really seems that his isolation had helped him get past it all.

And it was all because of me.

Me.

And all out of the goodness in my heart.

GoblinShaman>> Wait...
GoblinShaman>> Are those my Snipers' rings?
GoblinSmithy>> Uh...
GoblinSmithy>> No?

GoblinShaman starts casting Fire III on GoblinSmithy.

GoblinSmithy>> Crap.

I got to say, even despite the massive burning and internal injuries, it's nice to have Shaman back.

Look at me. I'm a big softy.

15 Comments:

Blogger Darwin's Little Helper said...

Well since he is a Black Mage, buying Sniper's Rings would be kinda dumb.


"Charity" indeed.

1:43 AM  
Blogger Carrin said...

Yeah, I heard massive burns leave the skin soft and sensitive till they scab.

2:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got this spot W00T!

Say, that's even more satisfying than first.

Now to initiate a revolution, in me and everyone else who would always seek first comment bragging rights now claim bragging rights to any spot that is higher than someone elses.

Yes, I have no life. Yes, I spent the entire day thinking this up, and yes, I am Gay. Whatcha gonna do about it?

2:15 AM  
Blogger Spirit said...

Very good idea. Similar to a discussion I saw on this Travel Web.

4:28 AM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

wooty w00t! holla i got DIS spot too nikka! wesside! i be da bomb diggy doo in dis mess piece flash woah! moogalapoolack! ormbadunga!!!! wesside!! yo im so hyped im makin up words yo!! deez werds iz da new hot junk on da streetz cuz u basically say a random werd and it becums da hotness. just like holla or shizzle! or wody! deez werdz iz random as hell so i make up wewrds too and im badass woot w000t wewt!

9:48 AM  
Blogger WHM of Death said...

After that post by "token black guy" .....My Brain Hurts. I feel like I have had a indepth discussion with Pathfinder on the theory and application of Einstein's theory's. Where us Uncle Jack when i need him??.......over visiting Uncle [GM]Dave as usuall

12:32 PM  
Blogger zerombr said...

*nods to whm of death*
yeah the guy's probably some white guy pretending to be black living in his mom's basement, out in the farmlands of america.

can we get a dragon fed over here, please?

12:35 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

yoyoyo i iz da pimpiest pimp yo! how ya'll haterade drinkahs gunna hate on me for da way i talk! dis is pimp chat G! u all iz WHACK. 'specially dat desk job girl whm of da wang holla!!!! i just tryin to show sum luv to da blog yo! dont gotta hate!

2:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

token black guy, {Please use the auto-translate function.}

3:24 PM  
Anonymous AQ said...

I don't want to insult anyone...bah what the hell; token black guy woud you do all thinking creatures a favor and shut the hell up? pretty please?

3:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

pretty sure token "black" guy isn't black at all (shocker I know) but some red neck that watched too much MTV.

Anyway what happened to the poems, and weird writing styles. I liked those.

4:09 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

aight dats IT! u iz all racist against me! i aint no cracka yo! dis iz how i talk! this is me doin me! you dont see me hatin cuz u do u! damn yo.. dat shiz be whack azz whack fo shizzle. i be tryin ta respeck a brutha fo making it in da world writin and i get hated on 4 it datz some junk fa sho

4:39 PM  
Blogger kitty monk said...

It's funny 'cause he's doing it to get a reaction --

and you're giving him one. >.>

5:31 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

wtf yo. i iz showin my peeps luv and u iz thinking i want a reaction u whack kitty monkey. u wack. i be tryin to be nice to da smith-dog but ya'll is gottin to be playin my ebonix. ef dat noise!

9:57 AM  
Blogger kitty monk said...

I'm gonna pretend that made sense and walk away.

6:33 PM  

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