Monday, October 02, 2006

Big Blingin'

So, I was on duty in Yhoator Jungle when suddenly I hear loud music.

Now, this isn't exactly unheard of. Pretty much everywhere you go in Vana'diel has music playing.

You get used to it after a while.

But in all my years (4), I had never heard Tupac playing as background music.

The music was very loud and getting louder by the second. Underneath the music, though, I could hear another sound.

Hmmm... Couldn't figure out what it was. It was a loud squeal.

Maybe someone was killing a Taru.

Then slowly, I figured out what that sound was.

Screeching tires.

Now, who in the hell would be dumb enough to drive through the jun...

I managed to dive out of the way before Pathfinder could have ran me over in his Nissan.

At least... I thought it was Pathfinder's Nissan...

This thing was painted gold and had 20 inch rims with spinners. All of the windows were tinted and I'm pretty sure there was neon underneath the car.

I was just starting to wonder if somebody had been playing Saint's Row and gotten lost when the door opened and out jumped Pathfinder. He was wrapped in a big fur coat and his neck glittered with jewelry.

GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> Like the new wheels?
GoblinSmithy>> Where did you get this thing?
GoblinSmithy>> Did a pimp have a yard sale?
GoblinPathfinder>> You're so funny, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> We should do lunch sometime.
GoblinPathfinder>> My people will call your people, k?
GoblinSmithy>> I don't have people.
GoblinSmithy>> Hell, you don't have people.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty, Smitty, Smitty...
GoblinPathfinder>> Don't be playa hatin'.
GoblinSmithy>> What was that?
GoblinPathfinder>> What?
GoblinSmithy>> What you just said.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell was that?
GoblinPathfinder>> That's how cool people talk.
GoblinSmithy>> What does that have to do with you?
GoblinSmithy>> And where did you get all of this stuff?
GoblinPathfinder>> Oh, haven't you heard?
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm a movie star now.
GoblinPathfinder>> I need big, expensive things.
GoblinSmithy>> You're not a movie star.
GoblinPathfinder>> Then how can I afford all of this stuff, smart guy?
GoblinSmithy>> How can you afford all of this?
GoblinPathfinder>> ...
GoblinPathfinder>> Mostly my credit cards, but still...
GoblinSmithy>> Oh Altana, you're screwed.
GoblinPathfinder>> Don't be silly.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'll pay them off when I get my big movie check.
GoblinSmithy>> What movie check?
GoblinPathfinder>> For the new Pathfinder movie.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm going to be a millionaire.
GoblinSmithy>> Did you actually act in the movie?
GoblinPathfinder>> Well... No.
GoblinSmithy>> Did you have anything to do with the movie?
GoblinPathfinder>> Not really.
GoblinSmithy>> Did they even call you?
GoblinPathfinder>> Not yet.
GoblinSmithy>> You're an idiot, you know that?
GoblinPathfinder>> You just don't understand show biz.
GoblinSmithy>> Apparently, not.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait... My cellphone is ringing.
GoblinPathfinder>> You don't have a cellphone.
GoblinSmithy>> Sure I do. It's right here.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're not holding anything.
GoblinSmithy>> Sssshhhhh. I'm on the phone.
GoblinSmithy>> Uh huh... Uh huh...
GoblinSmithy>> It's your agent.
GoblinPathfinder>> Really?
GoblinPathfinder>> What does he want?
GoblinSmithy>> Let me ask him.
GoblinSmithy>> Uh huh... Uh huh...
GoblinPathfinder>> Well?
GoblinSmithy>> He says you're retarded.

I swear right now, if he starts giving autographs, I'm going to kill him.

More than usual.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Bos said...

First comment! YAY!

3:51 AM  
Blogger Axit said...

Pathfinder just made me a bit stupider...

4:02 AM  
Anonymous Bos said...

By the way, {Good Job!} on your Blog! I've enjoyed reading these since you began.

I have been killed on various jobs by many a Goblin in nearly every zone from Gustaberg to the Jungles. I have also fought alongside many Goblins in Besieged, so I no longer hold a grudge.

Do you think Shaman will try to convince you to join a Besieged anytime soon? Unlike Dynamis, you’d be fighting with the players—so you should be able to avoid the certain death and skin grafts of 5 black mages.

4:03 AM  
Blogger Ginner_Ben said...

Axit, Pathfinder makes us all stupider.

Smithy... I think we need to ask you to start with the killing.

9:52 AM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

BIG PIMPIN spindin da G's w00t! hollllaaaa thatz mad azz dope yo! pathfindah is da man yo he mah dog fa sho! i iz a rapper too yo! check it check it uuhh uhh uhhh my name is jamal i chill at da mall! i look at dem hoez! i gotsta have em all! da next season is fall! w00t w00t itz gettin hot in herrr so take off all yo junkz! n' lets get funkz! hooollaa!! yo i iz mad azz hot like da pathfindah dog!

3:41 PM  
Blogger Dealer Man said...

First off I gotta say to Token. WHAT was that??????

Now to Smithy. Just kill Pathfinder and take his wheels. He can pay off the credit cards with his own life insurance.

Maybe another drunken traveling party, see how fast you can get those spinners whirring.

4:58 PM  
Blogger ColdhartedRagnarok said...

lol @ the saints row comment

6:24 PM  
Blogger Kittos said...

hahaha
XD it's your agent

6:39 PM  
Blogger RDMFire said...

Ok, jail cells with malboro, tarutaru females that do 360s, and
idiot adventurers going to court I can handle, but nigmobiles and credit cards and pimp gear?

Who is manufacturing automobiles in Vanadiel?

You have done a lot of good work, but it is going downhill now..

What have you done with the real [GM]Dave?!?!?!

Looking forward to some more 'good' writing. ^^

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Meh....don't listen to Rdmfire. I think your stuff is great, as do the majority of us. Seems he/she is a bit too close minded.

I like Bos's idea too. ^-^ I'd love to see how Smithy is in Besieged.

10:45 AM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

yo G did u say nigmobiles? you crazy nigga!?!? you boutsta get niggity knocked owt fa sho! lemme see yo cracka azz on da streetz and watch u say nigmobeel you whack azz punk. get off da titty and grow a pair and say dat shit to one of mah niggaz

9:55 AM  
Blogger tarinakarelia said...

tokenblackguy: you belong in jeuno, shouting. not here. these forums are for the "grown ups" - or at the very least those of us who can speak the english language. i assume you were going for funny. you fail. go play on myspace. and as for the "wheres gmdave" comment: dude... 2 different blogs. read the title before you post moronic comments.

7:31 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

watch owt errbody SHESSS MAD. rawr!!! silly lil crazy people always hatin! i dont why u gotta be flamin ppls posts yo. errbody know "GM DAVE" writes dis mess to youngin. that homie above is jus statin word dat GMdave writes betta and this dont be refleckin his writin prowess yo. but it depends on wut stylez of writin u like. i prefer dis not wack a$$ crackas like yo OOooooOOoOo SNAP!

10:03 AM  

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