Big Blingin'

So, I was on duty in Yhoator Jungle when suddenly I hear loud music.

Now, this isn't exactly unheard of. Pretty much everywhere you go in Vana'diel has music playing.

You get used to it after a while.

But in all my years (4), I had never heard Tupac playing as background music.

The music was very loud and getting louder by the second. Underneath the music, though, I could hear another sound.

Hmmm... Couldn't figure out what it was. It was a loud squeal.

Maybe someone was killing a Taru.

Then slowly, I figured out what that sound was.

Screeching tires.

Now, who in the hell would be dumb enough to drive through the jun...

I managed to dive out of the way before Pathfinder could have ran me over in his Nissan.

At least... I thought it was Pathfinder's Nissan...

This thing was painted gold and had 20 inch rims with spinners. All of the windows were tinted and I'm pretty sure there was neon underneath the car.

I was just starting to wonder if somebody had been playing Saint's Row and gotten lost when the door opened and out jumped Pathfinder. He was wrapped in a big fur coat and his neck glittered with jewelry.

GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> Like the new wheels?
GoblinSmithy>> Where did you get this thing?
GoblinSmithy>> Did a pimp have a yard sale?
GoblinPathfinder>> You're so funny, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> We should do lunch sometime.
GoblinPathfinder>> My people will call your people, k?
GoblinSmithy>> I don't have people.
GoblinSmithy>> Hell, you don't have people.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty, Smitty, Smitty...
GoblinPathfinder>> Don't be playa hatin'.
GoblinSmithy>> What was that?
GoblinPathfinder>> What?
GoblinSmithy>> What you just said.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell was that?
GoblinPathfinder>> That's how cool people talk.
GoblinSmithy>> What does that have to do with you?
GoblinSmithy>> And where did you get all of this stuff?
GoblinPathfinder>> Oh, haven't you heard?
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm a movie star now.
GoblinPathfinder>> I need big, expensive things.
GoblinSmithy>> You're not a movie star.
GoblinPathfinder>> Then how can I afford all of this stuff, smart guy?
GoblinSmithy>> How can you afford all of this?
GoblinPathfinder>> ...
GoblinPathfinder>> Mostly my credit cards, but still...
GoblinSmithy>> Oh Altana, you're screwed.
GoblinPathfinder>> Don't be silly.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'll pay them off when I get my big movie check.
GoblinSmithy>> What movie check?
GoblinPathfinder>> For the new Pathfinder movie.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm going to be a millionaire.
GoblinSmithy>> Did you actually act in the movie?
GoblinPathfinder>> Well... No.
GoblinSmithy>> Did you have anything to do with the movie?
GoblinPathfinder>> Not really.
GoblinSmithy>> Did they even call you?
GoblinPathfinder>> Not yet.
GoblinSmithy>> You're an idiot, you know that?
GoblinPathfinder>> You just don't understand show biz.
GoblinSmithy>> Apparently, not.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait... My cellphone is ringing.
GoblinPathfinder>> You don't have a cellphone.
GoblinSmithy>> Sure I do. It's right here.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're not holding anything.
GoblinSmithy>> Sssshhhhh. I'm on the phone.
GoblinSmithy>> Uh huh... Uh huh...
GoblinSmithy>> It's your agent.
GoblinPathfinder>> Really?
GoblinPathfinder>> What does he want?
GoblinSmithy>> Let me ask him.
GoblinSmithy>> Uh huh... Uh huh...
GoblinPathfinder>> Well?
GoblinSmithy>> He says you're retarded.

I swear right now, if he starts giving autographs, I'm going to kill him.

More than usual.