Saturday, September 23, 2006


I am once again roaming the open countryside of Vana'diel.

The escape went better than I had hoped. I had planned on Pathfinder dying a horribly bloody death, but he managed to survive.

Maybe better is too strong a term.

Everything started out as planned. We gathered outside my cell after dinner and waited for the perfect moment.

Shift change.

Every evening, the guards changed shifts. Unfortunately, there were twice as many guards nearby, but they'd be disorganized and unprepared.

When the time came, we set our plan into action.

Pathfinder charmed a guard and set him loose on the rest. One second, they're talking about last night's game and the next, they're trying to kill each other.


Next, I sent the demons in to clear a path for us.

GoblinPathfinder>> Did you say a path?
GoblinSmithy>> Shut the hell up.

We made our way toward the yard. All hell had broken loose and no one really seemed to be paying us any attention.

The yags were setting the pace in front and I had the orcs tag along behind us so that:

a) they couldbe brought forward in case of emergency

b) they could be left behind at my leisure

Things were going perfect.

BlackMage1 starts casting Firaga III on the Yagudo Prior.
BlackMage2 starts casting Firaga III on the Yagudo Prior.
BlackMage3 starts casting Firaga III on the Yagudo Zealot.
BlackMage4 starts casting Firaga III on the Yagudo Prior.
BlackMage5 starts casting Firaga III on the Yagudo Zealot.
BlackMage6 starts casting Firaga III on the Yagudo Zealot.

Yeah. Nothing says perfect plan like watching your back up get lit on fire.

Seems I had underestimated our guards. While the guys inside were busy getting their asses kicked by their union rep, they had a full alliance of Black Mages waiting for us at the gate.

GoblinSmithy>> Oh crap.
GoblinPathfinder>> What do we do now?
GoblinSmithy>> I'd assume we die.
GoblinSmithy>> Why don't you go first?

I was all ready to get set ablaze when something interesting happened.

The orcs swarmed past us and ran head long into the Black Mages.

Well... They ran head long toward the Black Mages.

I'll give the guys points for enthusiasm, but I really don't think they thought that plan through entirely.

Maybe I shouldn't have told them to run towards the light.

They had barely made it a few steps in front of us when the Mages started casting again. I tackled Pathfinder to the ground and rolled him just outof their range.

Okay... It wasn't so much a tackle as me diving and accidentally hitting Pathfinder on the way.

We managed to make it out of the range of the spell, so we didn't get set on fire.

We did, however, have a horde of charred orc corpses fall on us.

Do you have any idea how bad orcs smell when they haven't been lit on fire?

Multiply that by a thousand.

Luck seemed to be with us though. The smell was so terrible that the guards wouldn't even come near the pile of bodies.

When dark came and the guards moved inside, we just got up and walked out.

Anti-climax for the win.

Honestly, that would have been truamatic enough. Then, as we walked away, I looked back at the prison.

There in the window was Pathfinder's old cellmate.

And he was crying.


Still, we were free and the air was sweet.

At least, I assume it's sweet.

We spent hours under a pile of charred, reeking flesh.

Charred, reeking orc flesh.

Yeah, if you need me, I'll be showering for the next week or so.


Blogger Myloko said...

Poor Smithy! @_@

1:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pathfinder charmed a gaurd and sent attacking against its friends, you have to admit thats pretty cool smithy. imagaine you destroying a whole PT in yuhtunga jungle just by charming the blackmage.

4:44 AM  
Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

"There in the window was Pathfinder's old cellmate.

And he was crying.


Aw, prison love. How tragic for him. It's like Romeo and Juliet, torn apart in the infancy of their love. Poor guy. hee hee hee...

Yeah I think he owes you big now. The only way you're getting any peace is to camp him like a NM and kill him at every spawn but then who would kill unwilling adventures like me?

I had sugar cookies for breakfast and I'm way too chatty. Really a good stabbing is the only way to shut me up for the next hour or so.

Wait, no, that's right. I sing when I'm dead. I feel if I'm suffering so should everyone else.

See! Look at me! I can't shut up! I already posted on your other blog today too. I wonder if this thing has a limit... I wonder if I should try to find out what it is. ACK! See! Sorry,... no more cookies for me. I'm gonna go drown the sugar in milk now. Maybe that will dilute the hyper.

11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha grats, you had my work team laughing for a while...

11:50 AM  
Blogger Dealer Man said...

It could have been worse. You could have been under that pile with Pathfinder's cellmate...while he was in a frisky mood.

Or your ex-wife coulde have been there.

You got out pretty lucky with JUST the rotting, smoldering orc flesh.

12:11 PM  
Blogger Carrin said...

Hmm, wonder what happened to the demons...

Musta missed that one.

5:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

they cut themselves

1:36 AM  

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