Thursday, September 14, 2006

I'M FREE!!!

Free at last! Free at last! Thank Altana, free at last!

I have escaped!

Oh, man. I was starting to lose my mind in there.

The solitude.

The isolation.

The guys trying to have sex with you.

In retrospect, the solitude and isolation weren't that bad.

And then Pathfinder had to get thrown in here. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be stuck in an eight by ten cell with that moron?

I can still hear him singing Ninety-Nine Bottles Of Beer On The Wall.

And he never went down a number. Always Ninety-Nine.

For twenty-four hours straight.

Straight.

Straight.

I'm surprised I only killed him the one time.

How did I escape, you ask?

I don't care if you didn't actually ask it. It's my blog. Shut the hell up.

We were exercising in the yard and I noticed the guards were a little on edge.

All I needed was a distraction.

There was a group of Quadavs nearby and a few Orcs next to me.

Easy.

GoblinSmithy>> HEY! YOU!
GoblinSmithy>> YOU UGLY NINJA TURTLE WANNABE!

Then I just pointed at the Orcs and let nature take it's course.

As the riot ensued, I made my way toward the nearest gate. I was home free.

Except for one guard.

Dammit.

GoblinPathfinder>> What do we do now, Smitty?
GoblinSmithy>> What do you mean "we"?
GoblinSmithy>> "You" go over there and die.
GoblinPathfinder>> C'mon, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> I can help.
GoblinSmithy>> How can you...

An idea.

GoblinPathfinder>> What are you doing?
GoblinPathfinder>> What are you DOING?!
GoblinPathfinder>> MR. BEEINGTON!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> NNUUUUUOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!

You know, fashioning a knife from a living bee is not as hard as you think.

Hello, one make shift Hornetneedle.

A few quick jabs and the guard was no longer an obstacle.

Well... we did have to step over his mutilated corpse.

GoblinSmithy>> There. I'm free.
GoblinPathfinder>> *sniffle*
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you, Mr. Beeington.
GoblinPathfinder>> You gave your life so I could live.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... That reminds me.

*STAB*

I never get tired of killing that guy.

9 Comments:

Blogger Drescher the Great said...

Nice escape. Quadav vs Orcs, PvP style. Lol.

11:12 PM  
Blogger Valle said...

Killing prison guards...so there IS a use for the Beestinger..

11:26 PM  
Blogger creature124 said...

You should have made tunnels....tunnels are fun.

11:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Or just had a Goblin Digger get you out

1:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't care if you didn't actually ask it. It's my blog. Shut the hell up.

damn straight..

2:57 AM  
Anonymous Lucinus said...

Hehehehe, Smithy gets to stab groins even in a jailbreak. Good going.

3:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have an erection

4:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You gave your life so I could live.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... That reminds me.

*STAB*

I never get tired of killing that guy.

That was great. Keep it up!

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GoblinPathfinder>> What are you doing?
GoblinPathfinder>> What are you DOING?!
GoblinPathfinder>> MR. BEEINGTON!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> NNUUUUUOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!

I couldn't stop laughing XD

2:06 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home