I'M FREE!!!

Free at last! Free at last! Thank Altana, free at last!

I have escaped!

Oh, man. I was starting to lose my mind in there.

The solitude.

The isolation.

The guys trying to have sex with you.

In retrospect, the solitude and isolation weren't that bad.

And then Pathfinder had to get thrown in here. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be stuck in an eight by ten cell with that moron?

I can still hear him singing Ninety-Nine Bottles Of Beer On The Wall.

And he never went down a number. Always Ninety-Nine.

For twenty-four hours straight.

Straight.

Straight.

I'm surprised I only killed him the one time.

How did I escape, you ask?

I don't care if you didn't actually ask it. It's my blog. Shut the hell up.

We were exercising in the yard and I noticed the guards were a little on edge.

All I needed was a distraction.

There was a group of Quadavs nearby and a few Orcs next to me.

Easy.

GoblinSmithy>> HEY! YOU!
GoblinSmithy>> YOU UGLY NINJA TURTLE WANNABE!

Then I just pointed at the Orcs and let nature take it's course.

As the riot ensued, I made my way toward the nearest gate. I was home free.

Except for one guard.

Dammit.

GoblinPathfinder>> What do we do now, Smitty?
GoblinSmithy>> What do you mean "we"?
GoblinSmithy>> "You" go over there and die.
GoblinPathfinder>> C'mon, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> I can help.
GoblinSmithy>> How can you...

An idea.

GoblinPathfinder>> What are you doing?
GoblinPathfinder>> What are you DOING?!
GoblinPathfinder>> MR. BEEINGTON!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> NNUUUUUOOOOOOHHHHHH!!!

You know, fashioning a knife from a living bee is not as hard as you think.

Hello, one make shift Hornetneedle.

A few quick jabs and the guard was no longer an obstacle.

Well... we did have to step over his mutilated corpse.

GoblinSmithy>> There. I'm free.
GoblinPathfinder>> *sniffle*
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you, Mr. Beeington.
GoblinPathfinder>> You gave your life so I could live.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... That reminds me.

*STAB*

I never get tired of killing that guy.