Thursday, August 31, 2006

YOU BASTARDS!!!

No. Not you.

I mean whoever came up with this stupid chocobo raising crap.

I didn't want to do it in the first place. What in the hell would I need my own chocobo for?

Then the idea started to grow on me.

I fall in love with this cute, little yellow ball of feathers and what happens?

He falls into a coma.

Is this some kind of sick joke they're playing on me? What kind of messed up bastards would do this to someone?

Yeah, I stab people in the groin on a regular basis.

But this is just plain sick.

We were having a fine morning. Everything was great. Junior was rolling around playing with Mr. Beeington.

Well... What was left of Mr. Beeington.

Then suddenly, he just fell asleep.

Right away, I became very concerned.

GoblinSmithy>> Great... A narcoleptic chocobo.
GoblinSmithy>> Why did I get the broke one?
GoblinSmithy>> Should I try to wake him up...
GoblinSmithy>> Or should I plug in the deepfrier?
Chocobo>> Kw...
GoblinSmithy>> HE'S ALIVE!!!
GoblinSmithy>> No lunch, but still...
Chocobo>> Kw...
GoblinSmithy>> He's trying to say something.
GoblinSmithy>> What is it, boy?
Chocobo>> Kw...
GoblinSmithy>> Please, speak to me.
GoblinSmithy>> What are you trying to say?
Chocobo>> Kw...
Chocobo>> Kw...

Then his tiny body, still lost in a deep sleep, took a gigantic breath. His entire body seemed to inflate with life for just one second before expelling it in one, important word.

Chocobo>> Kweh.
GoblinSmithy>> Kweh?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> I don't speak chocobo.
GoblinSmithy>> Where can I find someone who speaks chocobo?
GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I knew it was a mistake when I said it.
GoblinPathfinder>> What's wrong?
GoblinSmithy>> Junior won't wake up.
GoblinSmithy>> He was just playing on the floor and...
GoblinPathfinder>> What was he playing with?
GoblinPathfinder>> What's that yellow and black striped thing?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... That...
GoblinSmithy>> That was Aldo's sister.
GoblinPathfinder>> I love that movie.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> How do I wake him up?
GoblinPathfinder>> Have you tried gently jostling him?
GoblinSmithy>> Let's try that.

*gentle jostling*

GoblinPathfinder>> What the hell are you doing?!
GoblinSmithy>> You said to jostle him.
GoblinPathfinder>> JOSTLE.
GoblinPathfinder>> Not drop kick into a wall.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh...
GoblinSmithy>> My bad.
Chocobo>> Kw...
GoblinSmithy>> Look!
GoblinSmithy>> What's he saying?
Chocobo>> Kweh.
GoblinSmithy>> What is it?
GoblinSmithy>> What's he trying to say?
GoblinPathfinder>> He said...
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah?
GoblinPathfinder>> He said "Don't eat me. I'm just napping."
GoblinSmithy>> Oh...
GoblinSmithy>> I wasn't going to eat him.
GoblinPathfinder>> Then why is your deepfrier plugged in?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Hey, Pathfinder. Want to play a game?
GoblinPathfinder>> Really?
GoblinPathfinder>> Sure.
GoblinPathfinder>> What do you want to play?
GoblinSmithy>> How about "Stop, Drop, and Roll"?
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't know that game.
GoblinPathfinder>> How do you play?
GoblinSmithy>> Well... I walk over here.
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> And then you try to catch a pot of hot grease.
GoblinPathfinder>> Okay.
GoblinPathfinder>> Wait... What?

*SPLASH*

GoblinPathfinder>> GUUURRAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
GoblinSmithy>> Whoops.
GoblinSmithy>> You lost.
GoblinPathfinder>> MY SKIN IS MELTING!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> Really don't like this game!!!

I think he was getting the hang of it by the end.

It didn't wake Junior, but damn if it didn't cheer me up.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

yay first post!
Aww poor junior, maybe you should've taken away Mr. Beeington's stinger before letting him roll around in his remains >.>

12:37 AM  
Anonymous Raine said...

I tried everything to wake my choco up as well...it needs to eat.

1:28 AM  
Blogger Knyte said...

i laughed so hard i woke up the sleepers next door

nice one smithy

3:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"GoblinSmithy>> Well... I walk over here.
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> And then you try to catch a pot of hot grease.
GoblinPathfinder>> Okay.
GoblinPathfinder>> Wait... What?

*SPLASH*

GoblinPathfinder>> GUUURRAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
GoblinSmithy>> Whoops.
GoblinSmithy>> You lost.
GoblinPathfinder>> MY SKIN IS MELTING!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> Really don't like this game!!!"

OMG ROLF that was hilarious>.<

and yeh my choco is in acoma aswell damn SE

10:36 AM  
Blogger Killer Moogle-chan said...

So is mine, been in a coma for 5 days now, starving and has lost affection for me. Lovely-kupo.

12:08 PM  
Blogger Balfor said...

lucky for me, mine only got sick and some herbs cured that after a day.

1:41 PM  
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12:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

=First Post=

*gentle jostling*

GoblinPathfinder>> What the hell are you doing?!
GoblinSmithy>> You said to jostle him.
GoblinPathfinder>> JOSTLE.
GoblinPathfinder>> Not drop kick into a wall.

I laughed my ass off at this. holy crap that was funny. you just made my night.

maybe i should consider Jostling my older brother...

12:48 AM  

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