Friday, August 18, 2006

An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

I was still pretty pissed off at Pathfinder for asking me to be his flower boy. He must have known how mad I was because he was going out of his way to avoid me.

Every cloud doeshave a silver lining.

I was on duty in Yhoator Jungle and was just starting to enjoy his conspicuous absence when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

Hmm... Nothing there.

Wait... There it is again...

Looked like someone ducked behind that tree when I was turning.

GoblinSmithy>> Sigh.
GoblinSmithy>> You can come out now.
GoblinPathfinder>> There's nobody here.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yup. Positive.
GoblinPathfinder>> Nobody here but us trees.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay.
GoblinSmithy>> Can I ask you a question, Pathfinder?
GoblinPathfinder>> Sure.
GoblinPathfinder>> I mean... Who's Pathfinder?
GoblinSmithy>> Nice save.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thanks.
GoblinPathfinder>> I mean...
GoblinPathfinder>> Uhh...
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm a tree.
GoblinSmithy>> That's nice.
GoblinSmithy>> Hey! Look!
GoblinSmithy>> A PATH!
GoblinPathfinder>> WHERE?!
GoblinPathfinder>> ...
GoblinPathfinder>> DAMMIT!
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell do you want?
GoblinPathfinder>> I wanted to ask you a favor?
GoblinSmithy>> Unless it involves a spontaneous tracheotomy...
GoblinSmithy>> Go jump up your own ass.
GoblinPathfinder>> That would hurt.
GoblinSmithy>> You're not as incredibly dumb as you look.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thanks.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> How about you get the hell away from me?
GoblinPathfinder>> Could you just listen for a second?
GoblinSmithy>> Okay.
GoblinPathfinder>> I wanted to ask you...
GoblinSmithy>> Whoops!
GoblinSmithy>> Time's up!
GoblinSmithy>> This was fun. We should not do this more often.
GoblinPathfinder>> But I just wanted to ask you...
GoblinSmithy>> Not listening.
GoblinPathfinder>> To organize my bachelor party.
GoblinSmithy>> ...

My brain suddenly caught fire, set ablaze with images of drunk killing sprees and topless Mithra dancers.

We could find a fat taru, stuff his clothes with candy, and then beat him like a pinata.


There was just too many wonderful, beautiful things we could do. And it was all in my hands.


GoblinPathfinder>> I guess you don't want to help.
GoblinPathfinder>> Maybe Shaman will want...
GoblinSmithy>> I'LL DO IT!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> Really?!
GoblinPathfinder>> That's great.
GoblinSmithy>> I've got lots of ideas.
GoblinSmithy>> We may even survive some of them.
GoblinPathfinder>> No strippers though.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
GoblinPathfinder>> I had a bad experience with strippers once.
GoblinPathfinder>> I went to a club and... and...
GoblinPathfinder>> They just surrounded me, all over me...
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> That sounds terrible.
GoblinPathfinder>> You don't understand.
GoblinPathfinder>> Those women were big and hairy and ugly.
GoblinPathfinder>> Damned Galka strippers.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Wait...
GoblinSmithy>> Did you say Galka strippers?
GoblinPathfinder>> Oh yeah.
GoblinPathfinder>> Those ladies were all over me.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Pathfinder...
GoblinSmithy>> I have to tell you something funny.

Seems poor Pathfinder didn't know that there are no Galka women.

Last time I checked, he was still washing himself in a lake.

Don't worry, though. I'll make it up to him with the greatest bachelor party of all time.

Hell... I may even invite him.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

GoblinPathfinder>> You don't understand.
GoblinPathfinder>> Those women were big and hairy and ugly.
GoblinPathfinder>> Damned Galka strippers.

O.O;;; lmao! Didn't see that one coming! Poor Nissan... I mean Pathfinder.
yay! First post~ ^^

12:22 AM  
Blogger Hutea said...

Nice >.>

1:15 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That poor pathfinder, i think he lost too much blood to realize that XD

1:44 AM  
Blogger Ayanna said...

Oh… Lord…

That poor bastard.

2:51 AM  
Blogger Goblin Butcher said...

Poor Pathfinder. Nobody deserves to be around naked galka.

3:25 AM  
Blogger Squirt said...

Reeree says that if you think about the Galka strippers too much then you have to scrub your eyes and brain clean with a brillo pad.

6:57 AM  
Blogger Citizen Bleys said...


I think I need to go wash my brain out with soap.

7:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After the horror show Galka stripers are, invite him.
Who knows if things go well, he'll get laid by a stripper and the snake-woman-sciencegonewrong um I ment bride will dismember and/or disembowel him at the wedding.
Heck that's win win, brutal Pathfinder death that he can't directly blame you for and drunken nekid mithras.

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Tog from Ifrit said...

I honestly feel bad for him...after I laughed...and laughed and then tried to never read about the Galkas again.

7:48 PM  

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