An Offer I Couldn't Refuse

I was still pretty pissed off at Pathfinder for asking me to be his flower boy. He must have known how mad I was because he was going out of his way to avoid me.

Every cloud doeshave a silver lining.

I was on duty in Yhoator Jungle and was just starting to enjoy his conspicuous absence when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

Hmm... Nothing there.

Wait... There it is again...

Looked like someone ducked behind that tree when I was turning.

GoblinSmithy>> Sigh.
GoblinSmithy>> You can come out now.
GoblinPathfinder>> There's nobody here.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yup. Positive.
GoblinPathfinder>> Nobody here but us trees.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay.
GoblinSmithy>> Can I ask you a question, Pathfinder?
GoblinPathfinder>> Sure.
GoblinPathfinder>> I mean... Who's Pathfinder?
GoblinSmithy>> Nice save.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thanks.
GoblinPathfinder>> I mean...
GoblinPathfinder>> Uhh...
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm a tree.
GoblinSmithy>> That's nice.
GoblinSmithy>> Hey! Look!
GoblinSmithy>> A PATH!
GoblinPathfinder>> WHERE?!
GoblinPathfinder>> ...
GoblinPathfinder>> DAMMIT!
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell do you want?
GoblinPathfinder>> I wanted to ask you a favor?
GoblinSmithy>> Unless it involves a spontaneous tracheotomy...
GoblinSmithy>> Go jump up your own ass.
GoblinPathfinder>> That would hurt.
GoblinSmithy>> You're not as incredibly dumb as you look.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thanks.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> How about you get the hell away from me?
GoblinPathfinder>> Could you just listen for a second?
GoblinSmithy>> Okay.
GoblinPathfinder>> I wanted to ask you...
GoblinSmithy>> Whoops!
GoblinSmithy>> Time's up!
GoblinSmithy>> This was fun. We should not do this more often.
GoblinPathfinder>> But I just wanted to ask you...
GoblinSmithy>> Not listening.
GoblinPathfinder>> To organize my bachelor party.
GoblinSmithy>> ...

My brain suddenly caught fire, set ablaze with images of drunk killing sprees and topless Mithra dancers.

We could find a fat taru, stuff his clothes with candy, and then beat him like a pinata.

WE COULD BURN YHOATOR TO THE GROUND!!!

There was just too many wonderful, beautiful things we could do. And it was all in my hands.

Muwahahahahaha!

GoblinPathfinder>> I guess you don't want to help.
GoblinPathfinder>> Maybe Shaman will want...
GoblinSmithy>> I'LL DO IT!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> Really?!
GoblinPathfinder>> That's great.
GoblinSmithy>> I've got lots of ideas.
GoblinSmithy>> We may even survive some of them.
GoblinPathfinder>> No strippers though.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
GoblinPathfinder>> I had a bad experience with strippers once.
GoblinPathfinder>> I went to a club and... and...
GoblinPathfinder>> They just surrounded me, all over me...
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> That sounds terrible.
GoblinPathfinder>> You don't understand.
GoblinPathfinder>> Those women were big and hairy and ugly.
GoblinPathfinder>> Damned Galka strippers.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Wait...
GoblinSmithy>> Did you say Galka strippers?
GoblinPathfinder>> Oh yeah.
GoblinPathfinder>> Those ladies were all over me.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Pathfinder...
GoblinSmithy>> I have to tell you something funny.

Seems poor Pathfinder didn't know that there are no Galka women.

Last time I checked, he was still washing himself in a lake.

Don't worry, though. I'll make it up to him with the greatest bachelor party of all time.

Hell... I may even invite him.