Tuesday, August 08, 2006

This Means War

So, I had just gotten my ass kicked by a GM.

Seriously. What the F#%&?!

I was just doing my damned job and then this bastard has to get up in my grill about it.

This son of a bitch had to pay.

Even your silly GMs are not above the judgment of Smithy.

I get ready to head over to Yhoator Jungle, when my supervisor walks up ot me. I could tell by the look on his face that this was not good news.

Well... I assumed it wasn't good news. My supervisor is a Golem and those guys always looked messed up.

Supervisor>> ...Uhh...
Supervisor>> Hey, Smithy.
Supervisor>> We need to talk.
GoblinSmithy>> What's up?
GoblinSmithy>> Did Pathfinder file a complaint?
GoblinSmithy>> I swear I didn't put that bomb in his locker.
Supervisor>> What bomb?
GoblinSmithy>> Who said bomb?
GoblinSmithy>> I didn't say bomb.
Supervisor>> Yeah...
Supervisor>> I can't let you go to work today.
GoblinSmithy>> Why not?
GoblinSmithy>> Am I getting promoted?
Supervisor>> Not exactly.
Supervisor>> It seems you've been banned.
GoblinSmithy>> WHAT?!
Supervisor>> I know, I know.
Supervisor>> But rules are rules.
GoblinSmithy>> This is a mistake.
Supervisor>> Probably, but you need to talk to the GM about it.
Supervisor>> He can remove the ban.
GoblinSmithy>> Fine.
GoblinSmithy>> I'll "talk" to him.
Supervisor>> Smithy...
Supervisor>> You know I can see you, right?
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah.
Supervisor>> You just did air quotes when you said talked.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I'll be going now.

So, I place a GM call to this [GM]Dave guy and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

I bet Argus doesn't have to wait.

About two hours later, he finally gets back to me.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Goblin.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, I've already banned you.
[GM]Dave>> I fail to see what else I can do for you.
GoblinSmithy>> You can unban me.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Can you wait a second?
[GM]Dave>> I think I'm having a stroke.
[GM]Dave>> I thought you just asked me to unban you.
GoblinSmithy>> I did.
GoblinSmithy>> Unban me.
GoblinSmithy>> Now.
[GM]Dave>> I don't think you understand how this works.
[GM]Dave>> I ban you. You go away.
[GM]Dave>> This is not hard to follow.
GoblinSmithy>> Listen...
GoblinSmithy>> I can't go back to work until you unban me.
[GM]Dave>> Welcome to unemployment.
GoblinSmithy>> That's not funny.
GoblinSmithy>> I have children to support.
[GM]Dave>> You have children?
GoblinSmithy>> Did I say children?
GoblinSmithy>> I meant hookers.
[GM]Dave>> And yet...
[GM]Dave>> I am unmoved.
GoblinSmithy>> Can't we find an alternative punishment?
GoblinSmithy>> Something less... oh, I don't know... banny?
[GM]Dave>> Hmmm...
[GM]Dave>> Well... you do kill idiots...
[GM]Dave>> I have to respect that.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you might.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, I think I can come up with another punishment.
GoblinSmithy>> Sweet.
GoblinSmithy>> Thanks.
[GM]Dave>> I wouldn't thank me yet.
GoblinSmithy>> What do you mean by that?

He didn't answer me after that.

But at least I wasn't banned anymore.

I logged in, expecting to see Mordion Gaol or Ifrit's Cauldron or something equally terrible.

But I was in Yhoator Jungle.

Huh...

Oh shit. I bet there's a dragon right behind me. I spin around and...

No dragon.

Just a bee.

That's it? Death by bee?

I'm disappointed.

But... the bee isn't attacking me.

He's following me.

Uh oh.

That's when I look up and see my name.

GOBLIN PATHFINDER.

I would have preferred the banning.

OH! A PATH!

If you'll excuse me, I need to go murder myself.

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh man, that's hilarious. Does this mean Smithy is no more?!

-Likwid

Lakshmi (Ret.)

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On a plus note you now have an infinate supply of suckers, err pets to sic on players.
Does this mean you get a Pathfinder SUV too?

11:54 PM  
Blogger zerombr said...

That's true, there IS a bright side to this, Smithy....I'll be damned if I know what it is though. Being a Pathfinder...man that blows

11:59 PM  
Anonymous freespirit said...

Make sure you don't find a path that leads off a cliff ;-;

12:10 AM  
Blogger Artos said...

You are now on a path- a path to eternal glory!

1:00 AM  
Anonymous Raine said...

XD that dous seem worse than a banning...lmao

2:09 AM  
Blogger Hutea said...

ROFLMFAO

hey look...a path!!!!!!!

2:37 AM  
Anonymous Remus said...

Man. That is worse than being dragon feed. It's just... Man.


Look! There's a path!

3:32 AM  
Blogger ~*I Like Pink*~ said...

[GM]Dave... priceless.. lmao a PATH!!!

4:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Smithy, you got off light

Imagine if Dave had a real mean streak in him, you could have found yourself being the new Mr Beeington, or Mr Purrington

Imagine having to follow Pathfinder around all day

10:39 AM  
Blogger WHM of Death said...

Hey Smithy/aka Pathfinder....this could mean you get your shot at the Lamia!! go get her...aahh..."it"...what ever.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Yo Alejandro said...

I've said it once and I'll keep saying it over and over again




ALL HAIL [GM]Dave AND HIS OWNER SUSAN!!!!!!!!

12:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! This had to be one of the best posts in the history of the blog.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Thistle said...

*rolls* Ha! So perfect!

2:26 PM  
Blogger creature124 said...

oh...my...god.

3:18 PM  
Blogger Goblin Butcher said...

Well, think of it this way. You have a little bee to... uh... hm...

Okay, I got nothing.

4:02 PM  
Anonymous Beranger Stone said...

interesting.. At least you can say ur in the 101st Airborne (sorry if ur anti military) the world's first SMART goblin Pathfinder

7:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[GM]Dave finds yet another victim XD

9:25 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

Ah, freaking sweet, Smithy has been turned into Pathfinder. This is exactly the cruel kind of thing one could expect from [GM]Dave.

1:52 AM  
Blogger Snuggleteddy said...

Dude, that's messed up.

Someone should tell that Dave guy that there are lines, man, boundaries that shouldn't be crossed.

You just don't DO that to people. Pathfinder?

6:52 AM  
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