This Means War
Seriously. What the F#%&?!
I was just doing my damned job and then this bastard has to get up in my grill about it.
This son of a bitch had to pay.
Even your silly GMs are not above the judgment of Smithy.
I get ready to head over to Yhoator Jungle, when my supervisor walks up ot me. I could tell by the look on his face that this was not good news.
Well... I assumed it wasn't good news. My supervisor is a Golem and those guys always looked messed up.
Supervisor>> Hey, Smithy.
Supervisor>> We need to talk.
GoblinSmithy>> What's up?
GoblinSmithy>> Did Pathfinder file a complaint?
GoblinSmithy>> I swear I didn't put that bomb in his locker.
Supervisor>> What bomb?
GoblinSmithy>> Who said bomb?
GoblinSmithy>> I didn't say bomb.
Supervisor>> I can't let you go to work today.
GoblinSmithy>> Why not?
GoblinSmithy>> Am I getting promoted?
Supervisor>> Not exactly.
Supervisor>> It seems you've been banned.
Supervisor>> I know, I know.
Supervisor>> But rules are rules.
GoblinSmithy>> This is a mistake.
Supervisor>> Probably, but you need to talk to the GM about it.
Supervisor>> He can remove the ban.
GoblinSmithy>> I'll "talk" to him.
Supervisor>> You know I can see you, right?
Supervisor>> You just did air quotes when you said talked.
GoblinSmithy>> I'll be going now.
So, I place a GM call to this [GM]Dave guy and wait.
I bet Argus doesn't have to wait.
About two hours later, he finally gets back to me.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Goblin.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, I've already banned you.
[GM]Dave>> I fail to see what else I can do for you.
GoblinSmithy>> You can unban me.
[GM]Dave>> Can you wait a second?
[GM]Dave>> I think I'm having a stroke.
[GM]Dave>> I thought you just asked me to unban you.
GoblinSmithy>> I did.
GoblinSmithy>> Unban me.
[GM]Dave>> I don't think you understand how this works.
[GM]Dave>> I ban you. You go away.
[GM]Dave>> This is not hard to follow.
GoblinSmithy>> I can't go back to work until you unban me.
[GM]Dave>> Welcome to unemployment.
GoblinSmithy>> That's not funny.
GoblinSmithy>> I have children to support.
[GM]Dave>> You have children?
GoblinSmithy>> Did I say children?
GoblinSmithy>> I meant hookers.
[GM]Dave>> And yet...
[GM]Dave>> I am unmoved.
GoblinSmithy>> Can't we find an alternative punishment?
GoblinSmithy>> Something less... oh, I don't know... banny?
[GM]Dave>> Well... you do kill idiots...
[GM]Dave>> I have to respect that.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you might.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, I think I can come up with another punishment.
[GM]Dave>> I wouldn't thank me yet.
GoblinSmithy>> What do you mean by that?
He didn't answer me after that.
But at least I wasn't banned anymore.
I logged in, expecting to see Mordion Gaol or Ifrit's Cauldron or something equally terrible.
But I was in Yhoator Jungle.
Oh shit. I bet there's a dragon right behind me. I spin around and...
Just a bee.
That's it? Death by bee?
But... the bee isn't attacking me.
He's following me.
That's when I look up and see my name.
I would have preferred the banning.
OH! A PATH!
If you'll excuse me, I need to go murder myself.