Thursday, August 03, 2006

Manaburn RMTards

Okay, what the hell is wrong with these people?

Every now and then a horde of low level tarus run through the jungle and start casting black magic on anything they can find.

I mean what the hell?!

It's seriously depressing.

So, I'm on my usual shift in Yhoator Jungle and had just finished butchering a nice, normal party.

Then, off to the side, I see this ocean of tiny, pointed Taru heads surrounding a poor Mandragora. They were all casting Waterga at the same time.

The Mandy didn't have a chance. By the time the Mandragora was claimed, he was already dead.

Those little bastards.

Someone was going to have to teach them some manners.

Still, that many Tarus could cause a problem. They seem really weak, but enough of them could cause some serious damage.

But how can I be sure?

GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty.

At least he's got good timing.

GoblinSmithy>> Hi, Pathfinder pal.
GoblinSmithy>> And how are you today?
GoblinPathfinder>> What's going on?
GoblinSmithy>> What do you mean?
GoblinPathfinder>> You're never nice to me.
GoblinPathfinder>> You always say mean things.
GoblinSmithy>> Not always.
GoblinPathfinder>> You called my Mom on my birthday.
GoblinSmithy>> See?
GoblinSmithy>> That was nice.
GoblinPathfinder>> You said "It's all your fault, bitch."
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> That was funny.
GoblinPathfinder>> It was mean.
GoblinPathfinder>> And now you're being nice.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're up to something.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm insulted.
GoblinSmithy>> I try to be nice...
GoblinSmithy>> *sob*

And the Oscar goes to...

GoblinPathfinder>> I'm sorry, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> That was rude of me.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm doing great today.
GoblinSmithy>> That's good.
GoblinSmithy>> Now, I need you to do me a favor.
GoblinPathfinder>> I knew it.
GoblinSmithy>> No, no.
GoblinSmithy>> It's a good thing.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm listening.
GoblinSmithy>> See those Tarus picking on those poor Mandies?
GoblinSmithy>> We should help them.
GoblinPathfinder>> Why would we help them kill Mandies?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Help the Mandies, Stupid.
GoblinPathfinder>> Oh. I knew that.
GoblinPathfinder>> That's a good idea.
GoblinPathfinder>> How should we do it?
GoblinSmithy>> You go in first.
GoblinSmithy>> I'll be right behind you.
GoblinPathfinder>> Got it.
GoblinPathfinder>> Let's do this thing.

I've got to hand it to him. Pathfinder didn't even flinch. One second we were talking and the next, he was running head long into their group screaming battle cries.

And, being a man of my word, I was right there behind him.

Far, far behind him.

Okay... so I didn't actually move.

You'll notice I said I'd be behind him. I never said I'd follow him.

It's all in the details, people.

He did admirably, I will admit. He managed to take down quite a few of them. Even his pet tiger did a great job.

In the end, though, they were just too much for him. He died with his weapon still in his hand.

A little tear fell from my eye.

Of course, that may have been from me laughing so damned hard.

Still, Pathfinder had done his job. He had taken out most of them. I could handle the rest.

I tore into their group and started stabbing. They started casting Waterga as fast as they could, but it was already too late.

One by one, they started dropping.

GoblinSmithy>> That'll teach you to adhere to the intended party strategy.

Only a few left and I've got almost half my life left. They make this shit just too damned easy.

WhiteMage1 starts casting Banish III on GoblinSmithy.

Dammit dammit dammit.

I always forget.

Send Pathfinder to die THEN check for a power leveler.

That White Mage beat the living shit out of me. Seriously, he beat me like slept with his wife or something.

And believe me I know what that feels like.

I hate people.

13 Comments:

Anonymous [GM]Takura said...

How the hell did you die to bahish III? It does like... what, 21 damage?

10:55 PM  
Anonymous freespirit said...

You'll notice I said I'd be behind him. I never said I'd follow him.

It's all in the details, people.

I've got to remember that...

Every time you outwit pathfinder its so funny.

12:15 AM  
Blogger bigtrain. said...

sex

1:36 AM  
Blogger zerombr said...

err, yes bigtrain...yes indeed *confused*

2:21 AM  
Blogger Miki said...

...Except, replace "21" with "504", at least for me (no capped divine).
Poor Smithy ;_;

5:21 AM  
Blogger Thistle said...

It's nice to see Mr. Purrington is becoming a better pet!

12:07 PM  
Blogger WHM of Death said...

Never Underestimate a pissed off WHM!!

12:10 PM  
Blogger zerombr said...

I'm surprised that tiger has stuck around as long as he has.

1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's all your fault bitch...

I'm so going to use that!

Keep up the good work!

1:58 PM  
Blogger creature124 said...

Are you SURE you didnt sleep with his wife?

4:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GoblinPathfinder>> You're never nice to me.
GoblinPathfinder>> You always say mean things.
GoblinSmithy>> Not always.
GoblinPathfinder>> You called my Mom on my birthday.
GoblinSmithy>> See?
GoblinSmithy>> That was nice.
GoblinPathfinder>> You said "It's all your fault, bitch."


I love you Smithy.

5:41 PM  
Blogger WindowOfTheSoul said...

I bet he did.

He didn't scream "Who has the bigger Rod now!" Did he?

... Or was it a she..?

Chika-bow-wow.

1:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a great site
»

6:29 PM  

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