Tuesday, July 25, 2006



I was worried about the update. They always forget me,

But not today.

Oh, hell no.

I got hooked up.

They gave me two new job abilities and two new job traits.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

-Job Abilities-

Goblin's Charge
- doubles attack damage when striking an adventurer's groin region
- if strike is critical, adventurer receives "Castrate" status and movement speed is reduced to 5%.

Taru Throw
- enables GoblinSmithy to use nearby Tarus as ranged weapons
- damage varies according to pointy-ness of taru head

-Job Traits-

- may or may not make unkind references about adventurer's mother

- increases enmity of any adventurer who says lol or uses excessive calls in their battle macros

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Tomorrow is going to be amazing.

I am spending the entire day throwing Tarus and stabbing groins.

Maybe I'll stab someone in the groin with a flying Taru.

And then insult their mother.

Now, if they just listen to my suggestions and give me a "Teabagging" job ability, I'll be happy.


Blogger StealthBomber said...


12:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Be sure to throw a taru at GoblinPathfinder ^_^

1:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now, if they just listen to my suggestions and give me a "Teabagging" job ability, I'll be happy.


I don't even play this game but your blog is funny as hell.

7:54 AM  
Blogger Bellemithra said...

HAHA Nice Smithy!!!!! Now go throw some tarus!

10:02 AM  
Blogger WindowOfTheSoul said...

Woo, so glad I'm not going to be anywhere near Yuhtunga, or Yhoator without heavy armor!

Now all you need, Smithy, is:

Job Trait
Fire Retardant
Fire Damage lessened by 90%.

Maybe then you'd actually start getting AWAY from HighLvBLM.

10:31 AM  
Blogger Terry Tolleson said...

You're LVL75? 0.o

Teabagging for you, Mr. Smithy, would be extra special because of the pointy crotch armor.

Enjoy the taru-tossing.

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Teabagging? Why not go the full obnoxious 9 yards?

Everytime you stab a taru in the head, yell "Head Shot!" or "No scoped you, bitch!"

When you throw your bomb, yell "Stuck you, Bitch!"

And when you kill an entire party... "Killing Spree! Killtacular, bitches!"

5:00 PM  
Blogger zerombr said...

at first I thought the post above this was a bit lame, till I realized it was Halo 2 ^_^

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pretty sure that's CS, not Halo 2.


9:40 PM  
Blogger nano said...

No matter how many additions SE gives a job, the suggestions keep coming. However, this one is unlike most in that 'Teabagging' is a brilliant concept, perfectly fitting the Smithy way of combat. Bravo on a fine suggestion.

6:51 AM  
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