Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Job Interview

As soon as I got to work today, I could tell something was going on.

All of the beastmen were talking.

Something big was going on.

GoblinSmithy>> Hey, guys!
GoblinSmithy>> What's going on?
GoblinShaman>> They're hiring new NMs.
GoblinShaman>> Something about Beseiged...

Oh yeah. Damn right, baby.

These Notorious Monster positions don't come along very often and when they do, they always go to some big ugly dragon or something.

Not this time.

GoblinSmithy>> FINALLY!
GoblinSmithy>> Smithy gets his chance.
GoblinShaman>> ...
GoblinShaman>> What do you mean?
GoblinSmithy>> I'd make an awesome NM.
GoblinSmithy>> The job was made for me.
GoblinShaman>> I don't think that's how it works.
GoblinShaman>> Besides, you already have a job.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, but being an NM would be sweet.
GoblinSmithy>> Maybe I'll only spawn once a day.
GoblinShaman>> Smithy...
GoblinShaman>> Maybe you shouldn't...
GoblinSmithy>> Oh shut up.
GoblinSmithy>> This is going to happen.

So, I ran and found a supervisor and put in my name for an interview.

He looked skeptical at first, but he quickly changed his mind.

I'm sure my sword had nothing to do with it.

Then came time for the interview.

Interviewer>> Thanks for coming in.
GoblinSmithy>> Can I drop something cool?
GoblinSmithy>> Like a sweet sword or something?
Interviewer>> Woah. Slow down.
Interviewer>> You don't have the job yet.
GoblinSmithy>> This is just a formality.
GoblinSmithy>> I was made to be an NM.
Interviewer>> Why would you say that?
GoblinSmithy>> Well... I like murdering people.
GoblinSmithy>> I take pleasure in the pain of others.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm trained with many weapons.
GoblinSmithy>> I generally hate all other living things.
GoblinSmithy>> Also, I can use Microsoft Office.
Interviewer>> That's a nice skill set.
GoblinSmithy>> Thank you.
Interviewer>> But... I'll be honest with you.
Interviewer>> I'm a little doubtful.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I can accept constructive criticism.
Interviewer>> Then why are you sharpening your sword?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh...
GoblinSmithy>> No reason.
Interviewer>> Well...
Interviewer>> It's your look.
GoblinSmithy>> My look?
GoblinSmithy>> What's wrong with "my look"?
Interviewer>> You just don't have that killer edge.
Interviewer>> You really don't inspire fear.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't?
Interviewer>> You're sharpening again.
GoblinSmithy>> Isn't that interesting?
GoblinSmithy>> What would give me "a killer edge"?
Interviewer>> I don't know. Something scary.
Interviewer>> Big teeth. Or wings.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait... I have an idea.
GoblinSmithy>> What if I were covered in idiot blood?
Interviewer>> I guess that could work.
Interviewer>> But where would you find that much idiot blood?

The interview kind of ended there.

I think he found it hard to ask me about my references after I stabbed him in the face.

I didn't even get a chance to tell him I could type 60 words a minute.


Blogger Taeryunn said...

Make sure to let us know where you spawn. We'll arrange a little celebration party for you. ~.^

12:50 AM  
Blogger Lishje said...

hahahahah Pwned!

You would make a great NM though.

1:09 AM  
Anonymous Kavlar said...

Why would you want to be an NM? As soon as you pop you will get slaughtered by an alliance of RMT. I'd rather you stay as good ole smithy and kill some noobs.

1:49 AM  
Blogger nano said...

I think thats what Shaman was hinting at.. he has plenty of NM friends to know its not such a great idea having alliances competing to murder you each timne you spawn.

2:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess going through insane amount of pain once a day would be better than your bad streaks but this is Besieged.
I mean you would not only have your ass handed to you by a party or an alliance were talking a town NPCs, adventures and mercenaries.
It could be an eternal hell if ooooooo say pathfinder joined the Aht Urhgan mercenaries? Spawn. "Hey a path" Dead.

4:36 AM  
Blogger Dyamalos said...

So, this is what three secconds feals like!

10:30 AM  
Blogger Thistle said...

Interviewer>> But where would you find that much idiot blood?

The interview kind of ended there.

Ha! What a great writer you are! :D

11:18 AM  
Blogger paduse said...

60 wpm, MS office skills... if they don't hire you, I will.

12:39 PM  
Blogger Bitneko said...

With this blog you have already become a NM in your reader's eyes.

Such an NM that I wave to you while hiding behind invis or riding a choco.^^

Can't be too careful.

9:56 PM  
Blogger Goblin Butcher said...

Seeing as Valkurm Emperor gets torn to shreds every time he spawns, I'd be thinking it would be a good idea to keep your day job.

10:20 AM  
Anonymous Raine said...

Yes, but if your a 24 hour spawn...most of the time people will be afk sleeping or botting.

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nh he is going to sell his NM loot on the black market for big cha ching!

<3 Smithy!!

12:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok it's now thursday where the hell are the blog updates!!

3:48 PM  
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6:29 AM  
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8:58 AM  

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