Playing With Fire

Do you know a great way to start your day?

Try putting rubbing alcohol on about 1400 scratches and bites in order to replace potential infection with immediate pain.

All the cool kids are doing it.

Well, after that fun, fun morning, I was in the mood to murder some people.

Murdering always puts me in a better mood.

Now, where would be the best place for me to find a bunch of idiots who are just asking to be killed?

I'm kidding.

That's what Yuhtunga Jungle is for.

See, there is a very important difference between Yuhtunga Jungle and Yhoator Jungle.

In Yhoator Jungle, parties are higher in level and can actually put up a pretty good fight. Some of the parties may even come after me by choice.

In Yuhtunga Jungle, the parties are lower in level and can barely fight their way out of a wet paper bag. In Yuhtunga, Smithy is synonomous with death.

While I'm often in the mood for a challenge, today is all about stress relief.

Stress relief and stabbing players to death.

So as soon as my shift starts, I head over to Yuhtunga Jungle.

Now, I could be a nice goblin and and set up camp in a far off tunnel.

Or I could hang out right at the zoneline where all the fresh meat n00bs come to party.

What do you think I decided to do?

The fun part of Yuhtunga Jungle is that there are only so many safe places to set up a camp. If all of these spots are taken, your group may have to find a "less safe" place to work.

And it just so happens one of these "less safe" places is right on top of one of my spawn points.

Seriously. You people make this too easy some days.

It was a busy day in the Jungle today and, of course, all of the good spots were taken.

One intrepid young group decided that leveling was worth the risk of camping near my hang out.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

They had to be educated.

I will give them credit, though. Those people were brave.

Not smart, but brave.

I mean, what kind of balls must it take to set up camp near someone who has made a career of killing people just like you?

Well... balls or mental deficiency.

Still, they were in my territory and I had to make sure they understood that.

GoblinSmithy>> Ahem.
GoblinSmithy>> Excuse me.
Player>> Uhh...
Player>> Hi...
GoblinSmithy>> Do you know where you are?
Player>> We're in Yuhtunga Jungle.
GoblinSmithy>> No, no, no.
GoblinSmithy>> You're in the United States of Smithy.
Player>> The what?
GoblinSmithy>> The United States of Smithy.
GoblinSmithy>> Have you not heard of us?
Player>> I can't say that I have.
GoblinSmithy>> Well... that is a problem.
Player>> Why?
Player>> Why is that a problem?
GoblinSmithy>> You have illegally entered our nation.
GoblinSmithy>> We frown upon this.
Player>> Frown?
GoblinSmithy>> Did I say "frown upon"?
GoblinSmithy>> I meant "murder people for".
Player>> But we're all the way over here.
Player>> We're not even bothering you.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry, but the law is the law.
GoblinSmithy>> Our king has ruled you must be executed.
Player>> There must be something we can do.
GoblinSmithy>> I'd like to help you out.
GoblinSmithy>> I really would.
GoblinSmithy>> But the King's word is law.
Player>> Who's your king?
GoblinSmithy>> Well... that'd be me.
Player>> So can't you let us go?
GoblinSmithy>> Sadly, no.
GoblinSmithy>> I can, however, stab you to death.
Player>> That doesn't sound very nice.
GoblinSmithy>> I would think not.
Player>> Wait...
Player>> Why is he allowed to enter your country?
GoblinSmithy>> He?
GoblinSmithy>> He who?

HighLevelBlackMage starts casting Thunder IV.

GoblinSmithy>> Dammit.
GoblinSmithy>> Stab first and then talk.

HighLevelBlackMage casts Thunder IV on GoblinSmithy.
GoblinSmithy takes 3,724 points of damage.
GoblinSmithy was defeated by HighLevelBlackMage.

GoblinSmithy>> No one respects a king anymore.

The other fun thing about Yuhtunga Jungle is that a lot of high level players will run through on their way to Norg.

High level players who don't like me very much.

Yeah...

Maybe fun isn't the right word for that...