Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Mobucon 2006 - Vol. 2

After my little foray with the cross-dressing Taru, I decided I might be a little safer at the Con.

Safer in a place where 28 year old old fat guys dress like 14 year old anime chicks...

Yeah. I feel really good about my life right now.

As soon as I entered the main hall, I ran over and bought a Taru headgear.

I hope it was the little bastard's mom.

It's kind of annoying though.

I can't get the bitch's hair to part the way I want.

So, I'm walking along the booths, happily munching away on my pocky, when Shaman comes running up to me.

GoblinShaman>> HEY, SMITHY!
GoblinSmithy>> Heya, Shaman.
GoblinSmithy>> What's going on?
GoblinShaman>> You won't believe it.
GoblinShaman>> There's an adventurer here.
GoblinSmithy>> Holy damn.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure?
GoblinShaman>> Well, he just punched an orc to death.
GoblinShaman>> So he's either an adventurer...
GoblinShaman>> Or one pissed off NPC.

GoblinSmithy>> He punched him to death?
GoblinShaman>> He's a Monk.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh. He's too stupid to work a weapon.
GoblinSmithy>> Gotcha.
GoblinSmithy>> How'd he get in?
GoblinShaman>> Apparently, he's an Elvaan.
GoblinSmithy>> And?
GoblinShaman>> They thought he was a dhalmel.
GoblinSmithy>> So what is he doing?
GoblinShaman>> Right now, he's wiping orc off his knuckles.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean what's he doing here?
GoblinShaman>> Uhh...
GoblinShaman>> He's looking for you.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Damn.
GoblinShaman>> He said something about you killing his brother.
GoblinSmithy>> I kill a lot of people.

GoblinShaman>> Yeah, well he doesn't look very happy.
GoblinSmithy>> Sigh.
GoblinShaman>> If he kills you, can I have your pocky?
GoblinSmithy>> Die in a fire.

I've never been one to walk away from a fight.

Hell no.

I run.

Unfortunately, the Elvaan was blocking the only exit.

That was a Monk alright. He was wearing a full set of bright orange artifact armor.

Well... not a full set.

He was wearing a Naruto headband.

Yeah.

Still, though, he has made a terrible mistake and will have to pay for it with his life.

GoblinSmithy>> HEY! YOU!
GoblinSmithy>> BIG, TALL AND UGLY!
Elvaan>> There you are.
GoblinSmithy>> Boy, aren't you observant.
Elvaan>> I have a score to settle with you.
GoblinSmithy>> You have a score to settle with your tailor.
GoblinSmithy>> Orange?
GoblinSmithy>> Really?
Elvaan>> You killed my brother.
GoblinSmithy>> Probably.
GoblinSmithy>> That's kind of my thing.
Elvaan>> I am here to avenge his death.
Elvaan>> And to punish you for your crimes.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah. Now's not so good for me?
GoblinSmithy>> How's the twelfth of never for you?
Elvaan>> I will have vengeance.
GoblinSmithy>> Why the drama?
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you guys left the emo to the DRKs.
Elvaan>> DIE, GOBLIN SCUM!!!

That's when he charged me. Damn, that boy was fast.

And he hit hard.

Lucky for me, I have an Ace up my sleeve.

GoblinSmithy>> That was a serious mistake.
GoblinSmithy>> AV! COME KILL THIS GUY!
AbsoluteVirtue>> Yeah... about that...
AbsoluteVirtue>> Not so much.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> What do you mean NO?!
AbsoluteVirtue>> I would totally save you.
AbsoluteVirtue>> But you slept with my sister, AbsoluteInnocence.

Oh damn.

GoblinSmithy>> Oh come on.
GoblinSmithy>> We didn't do anything that bad.
AbsoluteVirtue>> They changed her name to ModerateInnocence.
GoblinSmithy>> She did do that thing with her tongue.
AbsoluteVirtue>> Good luck with the fist-related death.
AbsoluteVirtue>> Jackass.

Yeah. He's definitely not going to save me.

There was only one thing I could do.

GoblinSmithy>> Would it help if I said I was sorry?
AbsoluteVirtue>> Probably not.
GoblinSmithy>> Good. Cause I'm not.
GoblinSmithy>> And that bitch is nasty.
AbsoluteVirtue>> YOU SON OF A BITCH!

AbsoluteVirtue uses Manafont.

GoblinSmithy>> Bye bye, Monky.

AbsoluteVirtue starts casting Meteor.
AbsoluteVirtue casts Meteor.
Elvaan takes 2,487 point of damage.
GoblinSmithy takes 2,165 points of damage.
Elvaan was defeated by AbsoluteVirtue.
GoblinSmithy was defeated by AbsoluteVirtue.

GoblinSmithy>> Hell yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> He went down like your sister.

I don't mind dying as long as the stupid monk dies, too.

Damn, I hate Monks.

12 Comments:

Blogger Ten said...

Absolutely priceless.

10:18 AM  
Blogger BuzZ said...

AbsoluteVirtue>> They changed her name to ModerateInnocence.

HAHAHA

Gold!!

10:20 AM  
Blogger Bellemithra said...

omg that was great!

11:20 AM  
Blogger Thistle said...

Ha ha, great post! So many things I could quote!

GoblinSmithy>> How'd he get in?
GoblinShaman>> Apparently, he's an Elvaan.
GoblinSmithy>> And?
GoblinShaman>> They thought he was a dhalmel.


and

AbsoluteVirtue>> I would totally save you.
AbsoluteVirtue>> But you slept with my sister


*rolls endlessly* Heehee!

11:32 AM  
Blogger Excessivedamage said...

That dhamel joke was a killer.

11:34 AM  
Blogger Soul said...

lol thats "funny stuff down like your sister" golden

1:09 PM  
Blogger Myloko said...

Wow... an emo mnk o_O This world is SO going to the damned /nod

5:32 PM  
Blogger LittleDramaBoy said...

GoblinSmithy>> What do you mean NO?!
AbsoluteVirtue>> I would totally save you.
AbsoluteVirtue>> But you slept with my sister, AbsoluteInnocence.


I laughed out loud at work, like totally. XD (>^_^)> <(^_^<)

7:09 PM  
Blogger WindexHamster said...

There was a lot of funny shit here, but I'd have to say my favorite passage is this:

"GoblinShaman>> He's a Monk.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh. He's too stupid to work a weapon.
GoblinSmithy>> Gotcha.
GoblinSmithy>> How'd he get in?
GoblinShaman>> Apparently, he's an Elvaan.
GoblinSmithy>> And?
GoblinShaman>> They thought he was a dhalmel.
GoblinSmithy>> So what is he doing?
GoblinShaman>> Right now, he's wiping orc off his knuckles."

Just wonderful.

10:58 PM  
Blogger Julia said...

Dare I say that you are getting smarter, Smithy? You managed to achieve a partial victory this time.

Granted, you still died a horrible death, but at least this time you took an adventurer down with you!

12:32 AM  
Blogger Aeriel said...

"GoblinSmithy>> How'd he get in?
GoblinShaman>> Apparently, he's an Elvaan.
GoblinSmithy>> And?
GoblinShaman>> They thought he was a dhalmel."

I Laughed so hard on that one i nearly threw up in my mouth!

"AbsoluteVirtue>> I would totally save you.
AbsoluteVirtue>> But you slept with my sister, AbsoluteInnocence."

O.O Go Smithy, Go Smithy! Get some :)

Legend, of BTW if you have recently been brutally mangled by a RDM in full AF whist chilling around the campfire in Rolanberry Fields, Sorry about that but blame the warp taru for always landing me next you. Since i know he's going to be missing the mark again, i always warp as /THF and flee back, but when i see you there i just have to sneak attack and jam my Anelace through your spine... Sorry.

5:30 AM  
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12:20 AM  

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