Saturday, June 10, 2006

Smithy Gets No Love (Luckily)

See, I thought the other day was the perfect day.

Pathfinder was dead. So was the moron Ninja.

And I made an amazing trade. I traded my sword for a Hauberk.

I traded the sword to buddy's face, but still.

That was a good day.

But it was lacking something.

Like an amazing meal that's missing just one small thing, one small bit of flavor that you just can't do without.

There was no revenge.

Thus, the day was not perfect.

Today... today was perfect.

I was working in Yuhtunga Jungle and helping slow adventurer population growth (via murder).

I'm a philanthropist.

Suddenly, Pathfinder comes running up to me.

Well... he wasn't running exactly. He was walking kind of funny.

So, Pathfinder comes walking funnily up to me.

GoblinPathfinder>> Oh, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> You gotta help me.
GoblinSmithy>> I really doubt that.
GoblinPathfinder>> This is serious.
GoblinSmithy>> And yet...
GoblinSmithy>> I still don't care.
GoblinPathfinder>> It's a matter of life and death?
GoblinSmithy>> Yours or mine?
GoblinPathfinder>> Mine.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh.
GoblinSmithy>> Do you like that show Lost?
GoblinSmithy>> That's one crazy island.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty, I'm going to die.
GoblinSmithy>> One can only hope.
GoblinPathfinder>> Oh please, Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're my only hope.
GoblinSmithy>> Calm the hell down, Leia.
GoblinSmithy>> I know I'm going to regret asking this.
GoblinSmithy>> What's wrong?
GoblinPathfinder>> It's Lamia.
GoblinSmithy>> If you shut up right now, I won't kill you.
GoblinSmithy>> *coughquicklycough*
GoblinPathfinder>> I think she's trying to kill me.
GoblinSmithy>> Santa got my letter.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'M SERIOUS!
GoblinSmithy>> Say it again. The killing part
GoblinPathfinder>> She's trying to kill me.
GoblinSmithy>> I'll never get tired of hearing that.
GoblinPathfinder>> I think she used some weird Lamia magic.
GoblinPathfinder>> Some kind of Fire spell.
GoblinSmithy>> Yay! Fire Magic!
GoblinSmithy>> We never get enough of that.
GoblinPathfinder>> It burns.
GoblinSmithy>> Well, you'd assume it would.
GoblinSmithy>> It being Fire magic and all.
GoblinPathfinder>> IT HURTS!
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, stop whining, you big freakin' baby.
GoblinSmithy>> I'll take you to a Doctor.

I rushed him straight to Valkurm to find a Goblin Doctor.

Maybe not perfectly straight.

We may have taken the scenic route through Beaucidine Glacier.

I don't think Pathfinder enjoyed the scenery. What with the screaming and all.

Finally (after a few circles), made our way to Valkurm and found a Doctor. He took Pathfinder down the beach to examine him, and he came back a few minutes later.

GoblinPathfinder>> We can go now.
GoblinSmithy>> What was it?
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't want to talk about it.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure?
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't want to talk about it.
GoblinSmithy>> You know you have to tell me.
GoblinSmithy>> Don't make me hurt you.
GoblinPathfinder>> ... sigh.
GoblinPathfinder>> It's not Lamia Fire magic.
GoblinSmithy>> Then what was it?
GoblinSmithy>> Wait... where were you hurt?
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't want to talk about it.
GoblinSmithy>> HAHAHAHA!!!!

Now, a Hauberk is a nice piece of armor.

Worth a lot of damned gil, too.

But Pathfinder getting the old (( Short Sword )) (( Burn )) ...

That shit is priceless.

Damn, today was a good day.


Anonymous Anonymous said...


2:54 AM  
Blogger Julia said...

I agree with anonymous there.

2:56 AM  
Blogger lithpiperpilot said...


Hilarious as hell, but that's the most outright sexual innuendo i've seen on this site yet!

Way to go Lamia!

3:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sweet jeans and athletic pygmies i just pissed my pants. very nice work

3:06 AM  
Blogger Cyrex said...


3:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sorry but that was hi-fucking-larious. I literally laughed out loud that he's not got "the Lamia Fire magic" he's got "the burn". The Short Sword burn. Gahahahaha.

10:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is awsome! Just figured i would point this out, i think u might have left on some html tags after u bolded and incresed the font size at the end of the blog and it is formating the whole page to make the rest of the blogs that font size. Smithy your awsome!

4:12 PM  
Blogger Lishje said...


5:18 PM  
Blogger Rich said...

Oh my god, I never saw that coming.

*debates taking that comment and running down the gutter, splashing muck on everyone along the way*

Nah.. y'all have good enough imaginations. XD

6:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:14 PM  
Anonymous hutea said...

See? Perfect days do happen Smithy XD


11:15 PM  
Blogger WindexHamster said...

|I'm playing solo right now.| |inside| |trousers| |No thanks.| |Invite to join party.| |woman|. |/joy|!

|/toss| |Goblin| |rod| |inside| |woman|, |fun|, |Liquefaction|!

|please| |Help me out!| |Burn|!! |Fire| |inside| |meat| |club|!


5:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

{Crab}s {All Right!}

5:50 AM  
Anonymous Goblin Ambusha said...

dayum dawg dat shit was da shizzle yo, i luv your stuf m8

4:52 PM  
Blogger Onionsoilder said...

The guy above me is an idiot!

5:34 PM  
Blogger Myloko said...

Smithy, you need a pet :o

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]uXOLfk[/url] - iYDvSeDxJZ ,

9:22 PM  

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