Friday, June 02, 2006

JUST SHUT UP!

Yes, they're letting you raise chocobos.

I get it.

But for Altana's sake, they're only chocobos. You can get a chocobo in every town and at any crag.

Noone in the history of Vana'diel has ever said "Wow, it's totally impossible to get a chocobo."

Honestly, it's not exactly a big damned deal that they're giving you chocobos.

So, just SHUT THE HELL UP!

Today, I was on duty in Yhoator Jungle and I was getting bored.

All of the pullers were being extra careful and noone had run near me in quite a while.

Funny, isn't it? Days I want to be left alone, I'm swarmed with morons. Days when I get bored, it's suddenly "Don't bother Smithy" day.

Damned adventurers, making me stab them.

It's not my fault really.

Anyway, I get kind of bored just standing around, so I decide to walk around a bit and hang out near a few prime camp sites.

There was a party just inside the tunnel near the zone.

A few steps closer...

And a few more...

Then their Bard stepped back into my range.

And it was SMITHY TIME!

GoblinSmithy>> HAHA!
GoblinSmithy>> DIE, ROCKSTAR!
Paladin>> Do you think it'll be hard to raise them?
WhiteMage>> I don't know.
WhiteMage>> Probably.
GoblinSmithy>> Hello?
Paladin>> I want a black one.
Dragoon>> That would be cool.
GoblinSmithy>> Hello?
GoblinSmithy>> Killing your Bard here.
Dragoon>> Do you think they'll have Blue Chocobos?
Paladin>> I think so.
WhiteMage>> I think I read that somewhere.
GoblinSmithy>> Pay attention!
Bard>> I heard you can get red ones, too.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, don't you start.
GoblinSmithy>> Just freakin' die.
WhiteMage>> I hope you can call them.
Dragoon>> Maybe we'll have a choco-flute or something.
WhiteMage>> That's not a bad idea.
GoblinSmithy>> You know who has a flute?
GoblinSmithy>> YOUR DEAD BARD!
GoblinSmithy>> I JAMMED IT IN HIS TRACHEA!
Paladin>> I hope the rare ones aren't hard to get.
GoblinSmithy>> PAY ATTENTION!
Paladin>> When's the update?

I was really pissed off at this point, so I did something every party member dreads.

That's right.

I beat that White Mage like he was rented.

GoblinSmithy>> DAMN!
GoblinSmithy>> You went down like a prom date!
WhiteMage>> Do you think they'll have special abilities?
GoblinSmithy>> OH COME ON!

I massacred their entire party and the whole time, they stood around talking about big, stupid, yellow birds.

WHILE THEY WERE DYING.

Seriously. What the hell is wrong with you people?

They announced chocobos. Big freakin' deal.

It's not like they're giving Mithra a third boob or something.

Now, that would be news.

Damn, I hate chocobos.

17 Comments:

Blogger Kumaren said...

First!

That was funny. (And I had to claim it)

1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

fuck chocobos they are so fugly i mean my god why do you people like them? just be a bard like me and you can use a skill that has the speed of a damn chocobo i mean FUCK!

1:26 AM  
Blogger Jhes said...

Hey ass, in case you didnt know it, Mazurka is barely 1/4 the speed of a Chocobo.

1:34 AM  
Blogger Thistle said...

Seconding your vote for giving Mithra a third boob~!

1:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Flee is the only skill that gives you the same speed as a chocobo... And smithy, you do know that those oversized chickens will put you out of a job, right? One minute your ramming a sword in somebody's spine, the next he calls his chicken and runs off!

2:54 AM  
Blogger Julia said...

It's not like they're giving Mithra a third boob or something.

Now, that would be news.


I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything while reading this, or it would have been all over my screen. Awesome.

3:59 AM  
Blogger Sakurafire said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Sakurafire said...

Die bitches. Die.

10:29 AM  
Blogger Bellemithra said...

HAHA!!! Third boob!!! LOL

12:05 PM  
Blogger Dramanue of Fenrir said...

Why would you give mithras a third boob... That would just be scary. Whiskers, yes, maybe, but not a third... that. Christ, first off, think of the graphical issue. You have to redo all the armor for them, then you have to remodel a high res model for the character selection... then finally, redo all the cg movies (the, what?, three they have?). I, personally, would not like this. It'd be disturbing... I really don't need to walk around Windurst without being reminded of Total Recall. If any changes need to be made, it's the horrific idle standing stance for Elvaan females... it looks like their backs are broken and are permanently bow-legged. Give them some class for Altana's sake!

As far as the chocobo thing goes, yeah, it's awesome, but anyone who goes on and on about the new quest/system should be shot in the face, followed by the forced ingestion of a goblin bomb, while fighting a Grenade right before a detonation... in Rusty Subligar.

On a side note, has Rusty Subligar given anyone else a rash?

12:13 PM  
Blogger Rich said...

I dunno, Sakura... somehow the Goblin in that drawing looks a little too much "Cute kitty with a bloody knife".

Smithy's funny, Smithy's quick-witted, but cute? Eh...

12:17 PM  
Blogger Rich said...

On a side note, has Rusty Subligar given anyone else a rash?

I do believe the doctor in Jeuno is giving out free Tetanus shots.

12:19 PM  
Blogger Chronofantasy said...

Mithra third boob would be nice :) Something extra for you to stab.

1:35 PM  
Blogger Reeree said...

Oh great, now there will be adventurers all proudly carrying on about their pink and purple polka-dot chocobo that passes gold nuggets they can sell at the auction house and will any of us mules get anything out of this?

7:25 PM  
Blogger Feba said...

Damn those people are slow.


You heard it from me like two and a half months ago..

11:31 PM  
Blogger StealthBomber said...

Third boob thing. priceless. omg i pissed myself. nice job smithy

2:28 AM  
Blogger Crixa said...

I think I'd have to object to having a 3rd boob...I mean, the two that I have are nice, yeah, but a third would just get in the way.

And what about necklaces, where would they fall? Right now, my necklaces fall neatly in between my two breasts...a third boob would make me all unsymetrical and stuff...

Third boob? ((Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass.))

7:20 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home