We're On Fire Up In Here
Alternate Title: "We Don't Need No Water, Let That Smithy Burn."
At first, the idea of respawning after death sounded really cool.
I mean, you die and then POOF, you're back in the game.
We're practically immortal.
Sweet, right?
Of course, I didn't see the fine print that told me how much that shit hurt.
Also, FYI, respawning does not cure burns.
Good to know.
This weekend was a constant struggle not to just quit my job as a Smithy.
Seriously. They don't pay me enough to keep taking this kind of punishment. If it wasn't for my intense hatred of adventurers, I'd have quit years ago.
I could do a lot of different things.
Lawyer... Doctor...
Male stripper.
But no. I have to stick around in this hellhole where people light me on fire on a daily basis.
On Saturday, I was in Yuhtunga Jungle just hanging out, when this little Taru ran past me.
I, of course, start chasing him. Imagine the nerve of this little bastard to just run right in front of me.
Perhaps removing his spinal column will teach him some manners.
So, I'm chasing him through the Jungle and laying a beating on him. He drops down one of those little holes and I chase right in after him.
And that's when I see it.
BlackMage1 starts casting Fire IV on the GoblinSmithy.
Oh damn.
BlackMage1 casts Fire IV on the GoblinSmithy.
GoblinSmithy takes 1,287 points of damage.
GoblinSmithy was defeated by BlackMage1.
Apparently, some high level Black Mage was on his way through the Jungle and decided to help out the little Taru bastard.
Isn't it nice to do good deeds?
I hate you people.
Since I had no way of getting a raise, I respawned. And POOF, I'm just outside the zoneline to Kazham.
A quick look around and I can see a lot of parties in the area.
It's like a buffet.
And then I see it:
Warrior>> Let's all kill this Smithy!
Warriors calls for help!
Suddenly, my name went orange and everyone in town decided to beat the living hell out of me.
Party after party after party all joined together in the bond of stabbing me to death.
Great. I'm dead again.
I hate weekends.
Unfortunately, I still had a few hours left on my shift and had to do something. So, I respawned and hoped for a better day.
POOF! I'm standing in a tunnel.
Nice and quiet. Isolated. Perfect.
Summoner starts casting Ifrit.
DAMMIT!
Ifrit uses Flame Crush.
GoblinSmithy takes 1,493 points of damage.
GoblinSmithy was defeated by Ifrit.
Freakin' wonderful.
And that's how my whole day went.
Respawn. Lit on fire.
Respawn. Stabbed in face.
Respawn. Dead.
Respawn. Dead.
It was not a good day for my self-esteem issues.
Or my flesh.
But do you want to know the worst part?
The absolute worst part?
I wa minding my own business in Jungle, looking for stray body parts that may have fallen off, when I see the little Taru from earlier.
Now, why did he look different?
It's probably the AFB that makes him look a little taller.
...
Wait... did I say AFB?
Taru>> Let's see who's laughing now, BITCH!
BlackMage2 starts casting Fire IV on the GoblinSmithy.
OH SWEET ALTANA!
BlackMage2 casts Fire IV on the GoblinSmithy.
GoblinSmithy takes 1,581 points of damage.
GoblinSmithy was defeated by BlackMage2.
I don't mind getting my ass handed to me.
Or barbecued.
But getting beat down by the little bugger that got away from me in the first place?
That chapped my ass.
If I had any nerve endings or was capable of walking, I would so murder that little retard.
Note to self: Stop respawning.
At first, the idea of respawning after death sounded really cool.
I mean, you die and then POOF, you're back in the game.
We're practically immortal.
Sweet, right?
Of course, I didn't see the fine print that told me how much that shit hurt.
Also, FYI, respawning does not cure burns.
Good to know.
This weekend was a constant struggle not to just quit my job as a Smithy.
Seriously. They don't pay me enough to keep taking this kind of punishment. If it wasn't for my intense hatred of adventurers, I'd have quit years ago.
I could do a lot of different things.
Lawyer... Doctor...
Male stripper.
But no. I have to stick around in this hellhole where people light me on fire on a daily basis.
On Saturday, I was in Yuhtunga Jungle just hanging out, when this little Taru ran past me.
I, of course, start chasing him. Imagine the nerve of this little bastard to just run right in front of me.
Perhaps removing his spinal column will teach him some manners.
So, I'm chasing him through the Jungle and laying a beating on him. He drops down one of those little holes and I chase right in after him.
And that's when I see it.
BlackMage1 starts casting Fire IV on the GoblinSmithy.
Oh damn.
BlackMage1 casts Fire IV on the GoblinSmithy.
GoblinSmithy takes 1,287 points of damage.
GoblinSmithy was defeated by BlackMage1.
Apparently, some high level Black Mage was on his way through the Jungle and decided to help out the little Taru bastard.
Isn't it nice to do good deeds?
I hate you people.
Since I had no way of getting a raise, I respawned. And POOF, I'm just outside the zoneline to Kazham.
A quick look around and I can see a lot of parties in the area.
It's like a buffet.
And then I see it:
Warrior>> Let's all kill this Smithy!
Warriors calls for help!
Suddenly, my name went orange and everyone in town decided to beat the living hell out of me.
Party after party after party all joined together in the bond of stabbing me to death.
Great. I'm dead again.
I hate weekends.
Unfortunately, I still had a few hours left on my shift and had to do something. So, I respawned and hoped for a better day.
POOF! I'm standing in a tunnel.
Nice and quiet. Isolated. Perfect.
Summoner starts casting Ifrit.
DAMMIT!
Ifrit uses Flame Crush.
GoblinSmithy takes 1,493 points of damage.
GoblinSmithy was defeated by Ifrit.
Freakin' wonderful.
And that's how my whole day went.
Respawn. Lit on fire.
Respawn. Stabbed in face.
Respawn. Dead.
Respawn. Dead.
It was not a good day for my self-esteem issues.
Or my flesh.
But do you want to know the worst part?
The absolute worst part?
I wa minding my own business in Jungle, looking for stray body parts that may have fallen off, when I see the little Taru from earlier.
Now, why did he look different?
It's probably the AFB that makes him look a little taller.
...
Wait... did I say AFB?
Taru>> Let's see who's laughing now, BITCH!
BlackMage2 starts casting Fire IV on the GoblinSmithy.
OH SWEET ALTANA!
BlackMage2 casts Fire IV on the GoblinSmithy.
GoblinSmithy takes 1,581 points of damage.
GoblinSmithy was defeated by BlackMage2.
I don't mind getting my ass handed to me.
Or barbecued.
But getting beat down by the little bugger that got away from me in the first place?
That chapped my ass.
If I had any nerve endings or was capable of walking, I would so murder that little retard.
Note to self: Stop respawning.
posted by Goblin Smithy at 1:52 AM
6 Comments:
Smithy, at least you didn't have to put up with pathfinder on saturday. At least you didn't mention him.
I'm guessing AFB is another term for AF2.
wow i might actually....stop killing smithys in the jungle...nah
Haven't been back in the jungle since a while back, but I'll remember this blog when I am.^^ On a side note... those mandies put up a better fight than the goblins ;)
I have a question for Smithy...
If adventurers are what you exp on... are [GM]s like NMs?
Just wondering ^^;
Hippy mandragora with their Dream Flower.
I would never kill Goblin Smithy for revenge if he stabbed me for running past him.
For one thing, I'm level 5.
For another, if I were to fight him, it would be because he has gil.
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