Tuesday, June 27, 2006

A Pathfinder's Life - Vol. 2

Today, I thought I'd share my first event with Pathfinder.

Or, as I like to call it, "The Day The Hate Began".

Catchy, huh?

Pathfinder had found a nice bee to play with. Unfortunately, he still hadn't unlocked the Beastmaster job so he couldn't charm him.

How hard could it be, right?

As I had not yet become jaded towards other living things by a myriad of deaths, I actually volunteered to help him.

Yes, you read that right.

I volunteered.

What the hell was wrong with me?

So, we get some info from a few Japanese goblins, and we set out from Jeuno.

We zone into Qufim and, right away, I can tell I liked this place.

You could actually smell the n00b death in the air.

We started running through the tunnels and things were going good.

For about 30 seconds.

At second 31, a Dancing Weapon jumps in front of us.

DancingWeapon>> Who's there?
GoblinSmithy>> Calm down.
GoblinSmithy>> It's only us.
DancingWeapon>> Who the hell is us?
DancingWeapon>> I don't have eyes, you moron.
GoblinSmithy>> It's Smithy and Pathfinder.
DancingWeapon>> Did you say Smithy?
GoblinSmithy>> No, I didn't.
GoblinPathfinder>> Yes, you did, Smitty.
DancingWeapon>> You slept with my sister.
GoblinSmithy>> I sleep with a lot of people's sisters.
GoblinSmithy>> I can't keep track of all of them.
DancingWeapon>> Her name is Karen.
GoblinSmithy>> Hmmm... nope. Nothing.
DancingWeapon>> She's about my height.
GoblinSmithy>> Still not seeing it.
DancingWeapon>> She has swords floating over her head.
GoblinSmithy>> OH! Karen!
GoblinSmithy>> Still not ringing any bells.

And that was death #1.

But we weren't about to give up.

We HPed and then zoned right back into Qufim. This time, though, we made sure to sneak around old DW.

So, we head on up through the tunnel just as it turns to night.

Do you know what's fun about Qufim?

As soon as night hits, every adventurer in the zone comes back to the tunnel.

There we were, Pathfinder and me, and about 30 adventurers.

Death #2.

Being very focused (read: very stupid), we HPed again and headed back through the tunnels.

Sneak past the Weapons, wait for the adventurers to spread out.

Okay. Things are looking up.

We head along the coast and then down a short path to find some flowers.

Also, a giant squid monster.

See, they send you down to find some flowers. They don't mention the monster.

Personally, I'd mention the monster first.

"Hey, there's this big squid monster and I need something from behind it. Incidentally, the thing in question is a flower."

Is that so damned hard?

Sigh.

We try our best to sneak past old Kraken, but he can apparently smell stupid.

Kraken>> Excuse me, gentlemen.
Kraken>> Can I help you with something?
GoblinSmithy>> Uhh... yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> We need a flower.
Kraken>> Did you just ask me to murder you a lot?
Kraken>> Cause I can so do that.
GoblinSmithy>> No, thank you. Just the flower.
Kraken>> Sadly, those are my flowers.
Kraken>> If you touch them, I may have to go hentai on you.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're going to fold paper?
GoblinSmithy>> No. See those tenticles?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> He's going to stick those in your bad places.
GoblinPathfinder>> That's gross.
GoblinSmithy>> You think?!
GoblinSmithy>> Damn, you're retarded.
Kraken>> Are you girls done?
GoblinSmithy>> Man, can't you hook a couple of goblins up?
Kraken>> I don't know.
GoblinSmithy>> Help a Smithy out.
Kraken>> Wait...
Kraken>> Did you say Smithy?

I swear to Altana, I never slept with that guy's sister.

It was his mom, I think.

Death #3.

At this point, we just can't give up. That's not happening.

We HP, zone into Qufim, sneak past the Weapons, run past the Adventurers, and then tiptoe past the Kraken.

Perfect.

GoblinPathfinder>> That's funny.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> What's funny?
GoblinPathfinder>> I forgot to start the quest.

Damn, I hate that bastard.

11 Comments:

Blogger Citizen Bleys said...

You know...I think I've partied with Pathfinder before.

1:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kraken>> If you touch them, I may have to go hentai on you.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're going to fold paper?


XD haha omg... that was too funny. ahhh~ Pathfinder seems to know some things and yet...doesn't. I'm guessing the Japanese Goblins didn't want to tell you about that part? ^^;

1:57 AM  
Blogger WindexHamster said...

"Kraken>> Sadly, those are my flowers.
Kraken>> If you touch them, I may have to go hentai on you.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're going to fold paper?
GoblinSmithy>> No. See those tenticles?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> He's going to stick those in your bad places.
GoblinPathfinder>> That's gross.
GoblinSmithy>> You think?!
GoblinSmithy>> Damn, you're retarded."

Horrible. Perfect. Thank you.

2:36 AM  
Anonymous Sexy Mithra said...

ah yes Kraken. i lost count of how many people i had taken there to unlock bst that don't even have the quest started yet. I swear i wanna face stab them at times but thats your job smithy

3:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GoblinPathfinder>> I forgot to start the quest

This always happens when you help someone out.

4:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GoblinPathfinder>> I forgot to start the quest

This always happens when you help someone out.

4:29 AM  
Blogger Slaneyder said...

Ahhh...I did that.

But at least the kraken's no sweat for a moderately leveled med rage.

4:29 AM  
Anonymous Kavlar said...

Smithy is such a pimp.

5:37 AM  
Blogger Aeriel said...

"I swear to Altana, I never slept with that guy's sister.

It was his mom, I think."

O.O So you like that squid pu$$y!
I never knew you were that desperate! I guess it was the older women seducing you thing in your youth maybe ?

{/comfort} Smithy i guess it must have damaged you for life, i'm sorry sorry :(

8:13 AM  
Blogger Thistle said...

Sleeping with a dancing weapon, Smithy? Eeeew!

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Goblin Enchanter said...

Be glad you don't patrol Castle Zvahl Castle Keep, Bouncer's been using these as blackmail. ><

11:47 AM  

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