A Pathfinder's Life - Vol. 4
Heya, guys. This is me, Pathfinder.
Smitty said I could write today's blog update because apparently a whole bunch of people voted for me or something.
Also, he was muttering something about how only retarded people would vote for that moron anyway.
Man, I'm glad I'm not that moron.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank everybody for voting for me and writing such nice things about me. Smitty even told me that I can write a special story for the monthly gift pack because you guys like me so much.
My therapist says you helped me reach a new level of self-acceptance.
At least, I think that's what he said.
See, he's a Qutrub. It's kind of hard to understand what he's saying since he doesn't have any lips.
Poor guy.
He's nice to me, though. It really helps when Smitty and Shaman "make withdrawals from my personal self-esteem account."
That's therapist talk for "they call me retarded."
I also wanted to tell you guys that I got a new pet. I named him Mr. Beeington cause he looks just like my old bee.
Also, it's easier to remember.
Remembering is hard.
I asked Smitty to help me find a new bee in Yhoator Jungle. He was so nice helping me find my first bee.
Apparently, this time he thinks I'll have a better chance finding a bee if I jump up my own ass.
But I decided to check the jungle first.
I wandered through a few tunnels until I finally saw a nice bee to call my own.
Sadly, I had a mischarm on my first attempt and the new Mr. Beeington got a wee bit angry with me.
Stab me in the eye with his stinger angry.
That's when Smitty came up behind me.
GoblinSmitty>> Not another damned bee.
GoblinPathfinder>> Uh huh.
GoblinPathfinder>> He's my new best friend.
GoblinSmitty>> Is best friend code for stabbing me to death?
GoblinPathfinder>> He's just getting used to me.
GoblinSmitty>> Good point.
GoblinSmitty> I feel like stabbing you, too.
That Smitty is such a joker.
GoblinPathfinder>> He's okay.
GoblinPathfinder>> Calm down, new Mr. Beeington.
GoblinSmitty>> Creative name.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you.
GoblinSmitty>> ...
GoblinSmitty>> You're an idiot.
My therapist warned me about this.
Luckily, I've been reading.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty, stop negatively impacting my self-image.
GoblinSmitty>> What?
GoblinPathfinder>> Your emotional attacks leave permanent scars.
GoblinSmitty>> I'm sorry. You're not an idiot.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you.
GoblinPathfinder>> That makes me feel much better about myself.
GoblinSmitty>> You're not an idiot.
GoblinSmitty>> You're freakin' crazy.
GoblinSmitty>> The only thing leaving scars is your best pal there.
GoblinPathfinder>> I just need to train him a bit.
GoblinSmitty>> Can I help?
A breakthrough. Smitty is being nice.
What a great day.
GoblinPathfinder>> That would be wonderful.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you, Smitty.
GoblinSmitty>> Oh, it's no problem.
GoblinSmitty>> Can I teach him a trick?
GoblinPathfinder>> Sure.
GoblinPathfinder>> Why not?
GoblinSmitty>> Okay.
GoblinSmitty>> Mr. Beeington...
GoblinSmitty uses Goblin Rush.
Mr. Beeington takes 7,83 points of damage.
Mr. Beeington was defeated by GoblinSmitty.
GoblinSmitty>> LIE DOWN, BITCH!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> NEW MR. BEEINGTON!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> NUUUUUOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!
That stupid Smitty killed my best friend again.
Now, I'm stuck trying to find a new new Mr. Beeington.
Not such a great day after all.
Smitty said I could write today's blog update because apparently a whole bunch of people voted for me or something.
Also, he was muttering something about how only retarded people would vote for that moron anyway.
Man, I'm glad I'm not that moron.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank everybody for voting for me and writing such nice things about me. Smitty even told me that I can write a special story for the monthly gift pack because you guys like me so much.
My therapist says you helped me reach a new level of self-acceptance.
At least, I think that's what he said.
See, he's a Qutrub. It's kind of hard to understand what he's saying since he doesn't have any lips.
Poor guy.
He's nice to me, though. It really helps when Smitty and Shaman "make withdrawals from my personal self-esteem account."
That's therapist talk for "they call me retarded."
I also wanted to tell you guys that I got a new pet. I named him Mr. Beeington cause he looks just like my old bee.
Also, it's easier to remember.
Remembering is hard.
I asked Smitty to help me find a new bee in Yhoator Jungle. He was so nice helping me find my first bee.
Apparently, this time he thinks I'll have a better chance finding a bee if I jump up my own ass.
But I decided to check the jungle first.
I wandered through a few tunnels until I finally saw a nice bee to call my own.
Sadly, I had a mischarm on my first attempt and the new Mr. Beeington got a wee bit angry with me.
Stab me in the eye with his stinger angry.
That's when Smitty came up behind me.
GoblinSmitty>> Not another damned bee.
GoblinPathfinder>> Uh huh.
GoblinPathfinder>> He's my new best friend.
GoblinSmitty>> Is best friend code for stabbing me to death?
GoblinPathfinder>> He's just getting used to me.
GoblinSmitty>> Good point.
GoblinSmitty> I feel like stabbing you, too.
That Smitty is such a joker.
GoblinPathfinder>> He's okay.
GoblinPathfinder>> Calm down, new Mr. Beeington.
GoblinSmitty>> Creative name.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you.
GoblinSmitty>> ...
GoblinSmitty>> You're an idiot.
My therapist warned me about this.
Luckily, I've been reading.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty, stop negatively impacting my self-image.
GoblinSmitty>> What?
GoblinPathfinder>> Your emotional attacks leave permanent scars.
GoblinSmitty>> I'm sorry. You're not an idiot.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you.
GoblinPathfinder>> That makes me feel much better about myself.
GoblinSmitty>> You're not an idiot.
GoblinSmitty>> You're freakin' crazy.
GoblinSmitty>> The only thing leaving scars is your best pal there.
GoblinPathfinder>> I just need to train him a bit.
GoblinSmitty>> Can I help?
A breakthrough. Smitty is being nice.
What a great day.
GoblinPathfinder>> That would be wonderful.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you, Smitty.
GoblinSmitty>> Oh, it's no problem.
GoblinSmitty>> Can I teach him a trick?
GoblinPathfinder>> Sure.
GoblinPathfinder>> Why not?
GoblinSmitty>> Okay.
GoblinSmitty>> Mr. Beeington...
GoblinSmitty uses Goblin Rush.
Mr. Beeington takes 7,83 points of damage.
Mr. Beeington was defeated by GoblinSmitty.
GoblinSmitty>> LIE DOWN, BITCH!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> NEW MR. BEEINGTON!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> NUUUUUOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!
That stupid Smitty killed my best friend again.
Now, I'm stuck trying to find a new new Mr. Beeington.
Not such a great day after all.
posted by Goblin Smithy at 9:41 PM
9 Comments:
ColdhartedRagnarok, if you read the whole story everything is in 'Smitty', not Smithy, so it does not need to be fixed.
Seems as though both [GM]Dave and Goblin Smithy share the same brain.
he was refrencing te number, "7,38"
and that te "7,83" is probly te way pathfinder writs... lol
oh well not all post can be good :(
Thanks to you, every time I see a Nissan Pathfinder I lmfao. It's getting harder and harder to explain to my friends why a SUV is so damn funny. o.O
Reeree says all you Pathfinder worshippers probably run around Vana'diel saying "Hey look, a path" and thinking you're clever and that Smithy is going to teach you how to breath through the neck, but I don't think she's right because Smithy is weak against being in the same place as Pathfinder.
It was very mean of Smithy to rush and kill Pathfinder's new pet, but since it's a bee, I guess that's okay because all bees are bad.
If I had a pet bee, I wouldn't name it Mr. Beeington. I would name it Spelling. But I'll never have a pet bee because bees are bad and thieves can't charm.
Okay, bye.
GoblinSmitty uses Goblin Rush.
Mr. Beeington takes 7,83 points of damage.
Mr. Beeington was defeated by GoblinSmitty.
Since a bee can't die from 7,83 dmg un-wounded, I kinda think that's Pathfinders own stupid way of writing: GoblinSmitty uses Goblin Rush.
Mr. Beeington takes 7,83 points of damage.
You probably also do this in Yuhtunga Jungle:
/wave Goblin Smithy
/shout Hey, Goblin Smithy, <3 the Blog!
As if he wouldn't stab you in the face first chance he got.
Goblin Smithy>> Hey look! A lung!
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