A Pathfinder's Life - Vol. 4
Smitty said I could write today's blog update because apparently a whole bunch of people voted for me or something.
Also, he was muttering something about how only retarded people would vote for that moron anyway.
Man, I'm glad I'm not that moron.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank everybody for voting for me and writing such nice things about me. Smitty even told me that I can write a special story for the monthly gift pack because you guys like me so much.
My therapist says you helped me reach a new level of self-acceptance.
At least, I think that's what he said.
See, he's a Qutrub. It's kind of hard to understand what he's saying since he doesn't have any lips.
He's nice to me, though. It really helps when Smitty and Shaman "make withdrawals from my personal self-esteem account."
That's therapist talk for "they call me retarded."
I also wanted to tell you guys that I got a new pet. I named him Mr. Beeington cause he looks just like my old bee.
Also, it's easier to remember.
Remembering is hard.
I asked Smitty to help me find a new bee in Yhoator Jungle. He was so nice helping me find my first bee.
Apparently, this time he thinks I'll have a better chance finding a bee if I jump up my own ass.
But I decided to check the jungle first.
I wandered through a few tunnels until I finally saw a nice bee to call my own.
Sadly, I had a mischarm on my first attempt and the new Mr. Beeington got a wee bit angry with me.
Stab me in the eye with his stinger angry.
That's when Smitty came up behind me.
GoblinSmitty>> Not another damned bee.
GoblinPathfinder>> Uh huh.
GoblinPathfinder>> He's my new best friend.
GoblinSmitty>> Is best friend code for stabbing me to death?
GoblinPathfinder>> He's just getting used to me.
GoblinSmitty>> Good point.
GoblinSmitty> I feel like stabbing you, too.
That Smitty is such a joker.
GoblinPathfinder>> He's okay.
GoblinPathfinder>> Calm down, new Mr. Beeington.
GoblinSmitty>> Creative name.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you.
GoblinSmitty>> You're an idiot.
My therapist warned me about this.
Luckily, I've been reading.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty, stop negatively impacting my self-image.
GoblinPathfinder>> Your emotional attacks leave permanent scars.
GoblinSmitty>> I'm sorry. You're not an idiot.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you.
GoblinPathfinder>> That makes me feel much better about myself.
GoblinSmitty>> You're not an idiot.
GoblinSmitty>> You're freakin' crazy.
GoblinSmitty>> The only thing leaving scars is your best pal there.
GoblinPathfinder>> I just need to train him a bit.
GoblinSmitty>> Can I help?
A breakthrough. Smitty is being nice.
What a great day.
GoblinPathfinder>> That would be wonderful.
GoblinPathfinder>> Thank you, Smitty.
GoblinSmitty>> Oh, it's no problem.
GoblinSmitty>> Can I teach him a trick?
GoblinPathfinder>> Why not?
GoblinSmitty>> Mr. Beeington...
GoblinSmitty uses Goblin Rush.
Mr. Beeington takes 7,83 points of damage.
Mr. Beeington was defeated by GoblinSmitty.
GoblinSmitty>> LIE DOWN, BITCH!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> NEW MR. BEEINGTON!!!
That stupid Smitty killed my best friend again.
Now, I'm stuck trying to find a new new Mr. Beeington.
Not such a great day after all.