A New Low
If I insulted a woman, she'd be angry as hell, right?
Am I right?
So, when I was discussing Vana'diel's most wanted the other day, I didn't mention Lamia 19.
I think I'm being all kind and noble and junk.
Unfortunately, she disagreed.
See, I learned a while back not to mess with a Lamia.
Those bitches don't kid around.
Instead of starting some shit with her, I decided just to leave her out of the post.
She's a woman, so it's not like she counts anyway.
See? Right there.
Right there, every woman who read that just got a little bit pissed off.
I figured not mentioning her would be playing it safe.
Not so much.
She actually got more pissed off that she didn't get some credit.
It makes my head hurt.
I've got a lot of enemies. I know that.
Not a surprise.
But when Lamia came after me today, I was totally blindsided.
See, most people become my enemy because I actually DID SOMETHING TO THEM.
I was on duty in Yhoator and things were running as they usually do.
Stab a White Mage. Chase a moron to the zoneline. Yada yada yada.
When, out of nowhere, I get hit with a giant staff.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell was that?!
GoblinSmithy>> I'll sue!
Lamia19>> You angry, ugly bastard.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, hey, Lamia 19.
GoblinSmithy>> For future reference, hello will suffice.
Lamia19>> I prefer the hitting.
GoblinSmithy>> See, that doesn't work for me.
Lamia19>> I really don't care.
GoblinSmithy>> Maybe we can work out a compromise.
GoblinSmithy>> What about some mild groping?
Lamia19>> You need to die.
GoblinSmithy>> That wasn't a no.
Lamia19>> I'd rather grope a troll.
GoblinSmithy>> That was uncalled for.
Lamia19>> Shut the hell up, you ass.
GoblinSmithy>> Maybe I'm imagining things...
GoblinSmithy>> But I'm sensing some hostility.
That's when she hit me with the staff again.
GoblinSmithy>> Definitely some hosility.
Lamia19>> YOU LEFT ME OUT!
GoblinSmithy>> Left you out of what?
Lamia19>> Your post.
Lamia19>> The post about the most wanted criminals.
Lamia19>> I was on that list, too.
GoblinSmithy>> Your parents must be so proud.
And she hit me again.
Getting kind of tired of that, I gotta say.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay, what the hell was that for?
Lamia19>> I don't have parents.
Lamia19>> I was created in a lab.
GoblinSmithy>> When did they start making ugly in a lab?
Hit number four.
GoblinSmithy>> I deserved that one.
Lamia19>> Why didn't you mention me?
GoblinSmithy>> Of the three, I found you the least retarded.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought it was a compliment.
Lamia19>> I worked hard to get on that list.
Lamia19>> I've killed thousands.
GoblinSmithy>> You're undead horde did most of the killing.
GoblinSmithy>> You're more like their public relations director.
Lamia19>> I command a legion of blood thirsty minions.
GoblinSmithy>> But that's still not very impressive.
GoblinSmithy>> Do they do tricks?
Lamia19>> They are an unholy strike force.
GoblinSmithy>> So that's a no?
Lamia19>> I DEMAND RECOGNITION!
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, you can definitely get recognition.
Lamia19>> It's about damned time.
Lamia19>> That's more like it.
GoblinSmithy>> Now, just take off your top...
Things got a little dark after that. Dark and blurry.
Wait... Check that...
Dark and blurry and hurty.
All I did was suggest the only way to get attention would be to get naked.
I don't get women.