Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Dynamis - Attempt 6

Why do I listen to Shaman?

I wouldn't trust the guy as far as I could throw him, but everytime he comes up with an idea, I always listen.

It's a sickness.

By my count, We've already tried Dynamis five times.

That's right. Five times.

Let me count something else.

Hmm...

Carry the one...

Yeah, I've also been burned alive in Dynamis five times.

Isn't math fun?

Sigh.

But once again, Shaman came running up to me trying to get me to go to Dynamis.

And I listened.

See, I know it's not my memory. I totally remember being set on fire.

That shit sticks with you.

This time, though, it wasn't all my fault. He said he had a new plan for us to win.

Yeah... I'm an idiot.

So, we lined up like nice little ducks in a shooting gallery and filed into Dynamis.

VanguardSmithy>> You know, I used to love that name.
VanguardSmithy>> Vanguard sounds so damned cool.
VanguardSmithy>> Now, I associate it with pain.
VanguardShaman>> Why don't you trust me?
VanguardSmithy>> Pretty much everything up until now.
VanguardShaman>> Not everything.
VanguardShaman>> I set you up with my sister that time.
VanguardSmithy>> That was YOUR SISTER?!
VanguardSmithy>> I thought I was walking your dog!
VanguardShaman>> That's not very nice.
VanguardSmithy>> She drank out of my toilet.
VanguardShaman>> She's quirky.
VanguardSmithy>> She bit me.
VanguardShaman>> Fine.
VanguardShaman>> Very quirky.
VanguardSmithy>> Can we get on with the plan?
VanguardSmithy>> I'll be late for my next skin graft.
VanguardShaman>> Don't think like that.
VanguardShaman>> Think positive.
VanguardSmithy>> I am positive.
VanguardSmithy>> Positive I'll be eating supper through a straw.
VanguardShaman>> Trust me.
VanguardShaman>> I've got a secret.

There was something in his voice that actually made me less worried.

He wasn't kidding.

He really knew something.

Something big.

VanguardSmithy>> Okay, give it up.
VanguardSmithy>> Tell me what you know.
VanguardShaman>> I know a guy who knows a guy...
VanguardSmithy>> Yeah, yeah.
VanguardSmithy>> Get on with it.
VanguardShaman>> They nerfed Black Mages.

Did you hear that?

It sounded like a choir of angels.

VanguardSmithy>> They nerfed Black Mages?
VanguardSmithy>> Santa got my letter!
VanguardShaman>> So that means no more burning.
VanguardSmithy>> I've never been this happy before.
VanguardSmithy>> Wait...
VanguardSmithy>> I've never been happy before.
VanguardSmithy>> It's oddly disconcerting.
VanguardShaman>> Didn't I tell you?
VanguardShaman>> We're finally going to win.
VanguardSmithy>> So how did they nerf them?
VanguardShaman>> It's very technical.
VanguardShaman>> Something about Accumulated Resistance.
VanguardSmithy>> What's that mean?
VanguardShaman>> I don't know.
VanguardShaman>> They sent me a description.
VanguardSmithy>> Can I see it?

So, he hands me a printout of an e-mail.

Yada yada yada balance.

Yada yada yada resistance.

Wait a second...

VanguardSmithy>> What's this part at the end?
VanguardShaman>> What part?
VanguardShaman>> I was too excited to finish.
VanguardSmithy>> This says NMs.
VanguardShaman>> What?
VanguardSmithy>> It says it only affects certain NMs.
VanguardShaman>> ...
VanguardShaman>> Oh...

BlackMage1 starts casting Firaga III on VanguardSmithy.
BlackMage2 starts casting Blizzaga III on VanguardSmithy.
BlackMage3 starts casting Thundaga III on VanguardSmithy.
BlackMage4 starts casting Firaga III on VanguardShaman.
BlackMage5 starts casting Firaga III on VanguardSmithy.
BlackMage6 starts casting Thundaga III on VanguardSmithy.

VanguardSmithy>> I hate you.

Dear Altana, please let me learn from this.

Burn me to death five or fewer times, shame on you.

Burn me to death six or more times, shame on me.

Damn, I hate Shaman.


18 Comments:

Blogger Zlo said...

Awesome just awesome.

Poor smithy you can't even buy a dynamis win can you?

Very funny though.

Too bad you kinda stabbed the interviewer before he could even give you an awnser.

12:08 AM  
Anonymous Raine said...

some of the blms on my ls freaked out about this..took me 15 minites of explaining saying it only affects nms.
Some people are really stupid.

12:10 AM  
Anonymous Keyln said...

Just so you know, that BLM "nerf" doesn't just affect NMs, but all monsters which are labeled, "Impossible to Gage!"

That includes all monsters in Dynamis, including Vanguard Smithy.

12:30 AM  
Blogger Artos said...

Just think! With all of the Black Mages who sell their Weskits in disgust, there will be a surplus of emo Dark Knights (ahem) to shank, stab, and otherwise mutilate.

2:12 AM  
Blogger kitty monk said...

" Keyln said...

Just so you know, that BLM "nerf" doesn't just"


Keyln. Shut up. I tell you this *all* the time. -.- Please stop talking like you know /everything./

3:15 AM  
Anonymous Sexy Mithra said...

Its ture smithy when your in DYnamis you are Vanguard Smithy and labled as a NM. Meaning this should effect you also

3:26 AM  
Anonymous Thevaultdweller said...

"Just think! With all of the Black Mages who sell their Weskits in disgust, there will be a surplus of emo Dark Knights (ahem) to shank, stab, and otherwise mutilate."

DRKs?

If anything, they'll just switch to SMN. Or does this 'nerf' affect blood pacts too?

3:49 AM  
Blogger ProstetnicVogonJeltz said...

Yes it does affect blood pacts too. any magical effect, in fact

7:56 AM  
Blogger Jhes said...

Yeah, it will affect all jobs that have some sort of magical nuke on them... BLM, Smn "Magic" BP, ninjutsu. mnk chi blast, whm divine spells. This wont affect normal xp mobs tho, only mobs that check as "Impossible to Gauge"

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Leave it to SE to fix a delicate problem with a sledgehammer. BLM is overpowered in that too many NM can be burned and no other strategy exists...instead of making these NM impossible to burn...make new NM that are more resistant to magic. It would be fitting if Mage items dropped more from Magic resistant NM and melee items from Melee resistant NM.

Smitty, you will never learn. But we love you anyway.

9:55 AM  
Blogger creature124 said...

People who use the word nerf are bad. very bad.

1:23 PM  
Blogger nano said...

But nerf is so soft and squishy and yellow! How can it be bad?

11:32 PM  
Anonymous Xnarusegawa said...

kitty monk... keyln is dead on with his/her info, from what square enix says. You should eat your own words.

X from Carby!

8:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol that's what you get when a noob that's not even the appropiate level to enter Dynamis writes stuff like this, dynamis mobs = impossible to gauge, gg

11:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ugh... get over yourselves, this is funny stuff. And it's a game. Seriously. Calling someone a n00b or the like just shows that you know... well... pretty much nothing about real life other than this game. That sure labels you a winner doesn't it.

VV from Pandemonium

7:48 PM  
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7:15 AM  

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