Monday, July 31, 2006

Nowhere To Run To, Baby

Oh, man, this has been an awesome week.

I found a secret entrance into the adventurer's moghouses and I've been sneaking in and kicking their asses.

IN THEIR OWN DAMNED HOUSES.

How freakin' embarassing is that? You're getting your ass knocked out on your own turf.

I'd say you were dying of shame if it wasn't for the sword sticking into your spine.

You can't even imagine how funny it is to walk up behind someone checking their inventory and then stab them in the back.

Player>> Hmmm... let's see what's in my delivery box.
Player>> Gear... Gear... Auction House money... Gear...
Player>> SWORD!!!

That shit is priceless.

Then word came down the grapevine that their going to be sealing up the secret entrance tomorrow.

Why do they always ruin my fun?

But if those bastards were going to take it away, you know damned well I was going to use it as much as possible before they do.

So, I sneak into a Moghouse, but there was nobody there.

Great. I have to wait.

Goblins are not exactly known for their patience.

Still... that look of surprise on their faces is totally worth it.

Where can I hide?

Behind the Christmas tree?

Wait... why in the hell does this guy have a Christmas tree up in July?

People.

Maybe I could hide under the bed.

Moogle>> What the hell do you think you're doing?
Moogle>> What are you doing in here, Kupo?
GoblinSmithy>> ... Uhh...

Think quickly.

GoblinSmithy>> I'm a house inspector.

Think quickly less retarded.

GoblinSmithy>> A secret house inspector.

Stop thinking.

Moogle>> That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> I've got an idea though.
Moogle>> And what's that?
GoblinSmithy>> How about you just shut the hell up?
GoblinSmithy>> I'm trying to work here.
Moogle>> I'm afraid I can't let you hurt my owner.
Moogle>> You're going to have to leave.
GoblinSmithy>> Let me think that over.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
Moogle>> You've left me with no other alternative, Kupo.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, I'm soooo scared.
GoblinSmithy>> What's the little Moogle going to do?

And that's when he shot me.

With a Power Bow.

GoblinSmithy>> What the hell was that?
Moogle>> That was an arrow, you idiot.
Moogle>> I mean Kupo.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, but that bow is like level 16.
GoblinSmithy>> It barely itched.
Moogle>> I've got more arrows for you.
GoblinSmithy>> Where the hell did you get a Power Bow?
Moogle>> My owner gave it to me.
GoblinSmithy>> Why?
Moogle>> He put a Bronze Bed in his room.
Moogle>> So I asked him for stuff.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> That's retarded.
GoblinSmithy>> Who bases a system of trade on furniture placement?
Moogle>> Shut up.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm just saying.
Moogle>> That's it.
Moogle>> More arrows.
GoblinSmithy>> Go ahead.
GoblinSmithy>> Don't mind me if I yawn.
Moogle>> Okay.
Moogle>> SCREW THE DAMNED BOW!
GoblinSmithy>> You forgot to say Kupo.
Moogle>> DIE, GOBLIN SCUM!
GoblinSmithy>> What now?
GoblinSmithy>> Did you find some pebbles to throw?

Moogle starts casting Fire IV on GoblinSmithy.

GoblinSmithy>> Oh what the hell?!
GoblinSmithy>> That is so not fair.
Moogle>> EAT FIRE, KUPO!!!

Yeah.

I'm actually going to help them seal up that entrance tomorrow.

Those Moogles are freakin' crazy.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

First Post. w00t, never got this before. Anyways, great addition, and I agree those greedy moogles are messed up in the head.

1:02 AM  
Anonymous Kavlar said...

You should have cut off his pom pom at the top of his head, then sprint away before you were burned alive. Just a thought.

Real funny though, good post.

1:32 AM  
Blogger nano said...

Moogle>> That was an arrow, you idiot.
Moogle>> I mean Kupo.

I wondered what that meant ~.^ 'Welcome home, fuc.. I mean Kupopooo!!'

Well we are their cruel slavemasters, what did you expect they'd call us?

3:20 AM  
Blogger Mute said...

you should have just stabbed him in the face! :p

4:14 AM  
Blogger Reeree said...

Moogles just want you to think they are your slaves. Mules are your slaves.

You are slaves to the Moogle.

You get a bed, a nice big bed, which you think would be great to kick back in after a tough day of fighting rabbits.

And the bat-winged thing sleeps in it.

Then he asks you to buy him expensive stuff.

7:20 AM  
Blogger Artos said...

Don't mock my trees.

7:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moogle>> EAT FIRE, KUPO!!!


PRICELESS!!!!!

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Tattersail said...

Moogles are evil, all those so called FFXI Events? A facade! When you're out doing the events they're inside your house eating your pies, mithkabobs and sushi. All this while wearing your AFv1 or AFv2 Hat, smudging it with their pudgy little hands... Don't do the Events, guard your house from the Moogles!

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Naa, moogles arn't evil.
Though they take pictures of you when you change and sell them on the black market(not to be confused with the Black Mage market).

11:03 AM  
Blogger Thistle said...

*laughs* The "dying in moghouse during Besieged" was one of the funniest things ever. I'm glad you found a way to fit it in here! :D

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thought this was rehashed. But it wasn't. http://goblinsmithy.blogspot.com/2006/05/those-little-bastards.html

12:37 PM  
Anonymous freespirit said...

GoblinSmithy>> What the hell was that?
Moogle>> That was an arrow, you idiot.
Moogle>> I mean Kupo.

priceless

5:31 PM  
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the hell.........

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4:36 PM  
Blogger zerombr said...

so THAT is what gets deleted every time on the logs!

12:17 AM  
Blogger Raven said...

Kupo!

7:58 PM  
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