Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Worst Day Of My Life

I thought that getting set on fire was bad enough.

I really did.

But actually having to live as Pathfinder... That shit is brutal.

It was like being very, very, very drunk. Minus the added courage and women being more attractive.

Basically, it was like having a lobotomy.

I had no idea what to do. I had a serious urge to stroke my bee.

And that's not a euphemism.

Having no other solution, I did the only thing I could.

I called Shaman.

It only took him about twenty minutes to meet me in Yhoator, but it felt like weeks. I just kept pacing back and forth, twitching, and trying not to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight".

I was lsoing it by the time he finally showed up.

GoblinShaman>> Hi, Pathfinder.
GoblinPathfinder>> In the jungle, the mighty jungle...
GoblinPathfinder>> DAMMIT!
GoblinShaman>> ... Okay then.
GoblinShaman>> Have you seen Smithy?
GoblinPathfinder>> It's me, Shaman.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm stuck in here.
GoblinShaman>> Smithy?
GoblinShaman>> Is that you?
GoblinPathfinder>> Sadly, yes.
GoblinShaman>> Could you give me a second?

Five minutes later, he was still laughing.

GoblinPathfinder>> Can we move on?
GoblinShaman>> This is literally the greatest day ever.
GoblinShaman>> I'm going to die.
GoblinPathfinder>> Could you?
GoblinPathfinder>> That'd be super.
GoblinShaman>> That's you all right, Smithy.
GoblinPathfinder>> Are you sure you believe me?
GoblinPathfinder>> I could stab you a few times to help.
GoblinShaman>> No. I'm good.
GoblinPathfinder>> Hey! Look!
GoblinPathfinder>> A path!
GoblinPathfinder>> DAMMIT!!!
GoblinShaman>> I've never been this happy before.
GoblinPathfinder>> You have to fix this.
GoblinShaman>> How?
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't know.
GoblinPathfinder>> Do an exorcism or something.
GoblinShaman>> I don't think that will work.
GoblinPathfinder>> WELL DO SOMETHING!
GoblinPathfinder>> ANYTHING!
GoblinShaman>> Okay...
GoblinShaman>> I have one idea.
GoblinShaman>> It might hurt a bit.
GoblinPathfinder>> Of course it will.
GoblinPathfinder>> It'll be worth it.

GoblinShaman starts casting Firaga III on GoblinPathfinder.

GoblinPathfinder>> NUUUUOOOOOOHHHHH!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> You'll hurt Mr. Beeington.
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah...
GoblinPathfinder>> Just freakin' kill me.

I never actually thought Firaga III would feel nice.

I was right.

Luckily, when I respawned, my name was back to normal. Everything was back the way it was supposed to be.

I was me again.

GoblinSmithy>> In the jungle...
GoblinSmithy>> DAMMIT!!!

16 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

GoblinShaman starts casting Firaga III on GoblinPathfinder.

GoblinPathfinder>> NUUUUOOOOOOHHHHH!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> You'll hurt Mr. Beeington.
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah...
GoblinPathfinder>> Just freakin' kill me.


This made me fall of and lmao for 5 min

12:54 AM  
Blogger demonsbain said...

looks like a GM is still playing with you for being a goblin fisher bot. He must have sobered up and realized he didn't torment you enough.

1:07 AM  
Blogger Carrin said...

It was so nice, he posted it twice.

GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah...
GoblinPathfinder>> Just freakin' kill me.

Poor Smithy, everyone gets the upperhand on him.

1:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I pissed myself while laughing...

1:33 AM  
Anonymous freespirit said...

Looks like Shaman does come in handy once in a while ;)

2:08 AM  
Anonymous Kavlar said...

Wow great post. I laughed for a long time with this one. Nice job!!

3:02 AM  
Blogger Knyte said...

unfortunately its about 430 AM EST here and everyone is sleeping...so i held in my laughter so as not to wake anyone...however...i now need a new pair of shorts X_x

great post

GoblinSmithy>> In the jungle...
GoblinSmithy>> DAMMIT!!!


XD

6:01 AM  
Blogger Tigerlily said...

I had a serious urge to stroke my bee.

And that's not a euphemism.


That had me laughing my arse off. XD

9:59 AM  
Blogger Thistle said...

GoblinPathfinder>> NUUUUOOOOOOHHHHH!!!
GoblinPathfinder>> You'll hurt Mr. Beeington.

(snip)

I was me again.

GoblinSmithy>> In the jungle...
GoblinSmithy>> DAMMIT!!!


Ha! I foresee Smithy being nice to Pathfinder from now on! Or at least to his pets~ He won't be able to help it! (Ha ha, in my dreams!)

11:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

win

1:25 PM  
Blogger The Godfather said...

Goblin Smithy said...
___________________________________
I had a serious urge to stroke my bee.

And that's not a euphemism.
___________________________________

That had me laughing so hard I almost forgot to let the cermet boots harden before throwing [GM] Dave in the lake.

Um....forget I said that last part.

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Nara said...

Awsome post Smitty!

3:28 PM  
Blogger creature124 said...

Ha! I foresee Smithy being nice to Pathfinder from now on! Or at least to his pets~ He won't be able to help it! (Ha ha, in my dreams!)

yeah...so not happening. if anything, smithy will avenge this urge to sing by ruthlessly murdering pathfinder a few times

5:58 PM  
Anonymous Spiz said...

GoblinShaman>> That's you all right, Smithy.
GoblinPathfinder>> Are you sure you believe me?
GoblinPathfinder>> I could stab you a few times to help.
GoblinShaman>> No. I'm good.
GoblinPathfinder>> Hey! Look!
GoblinPathfinder>> A path!
GoblinPathfinder>> DAMMIT!!!


HAHAHAHA that was great. One of My fav's Definately!!

9:47 PM  
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