They All Come Crawling Back
I knew it. I just knew it.
No one can resist the Smithy charm.
I'm sure you all remember my ex-wife or, as I like to call her, "the face that beauty forgot".
You may also remember that the tramp left me for a Gigas.
Not the greatest day.
Well, everything changed yesterday. She came crawling and crying, begging me to take her back.
JACKPOT!
There is nothing as satisfying as seeing a woman who dumped you crying all over herself and begging for forgiveness.
Even stabbing Tarus doesn't feel that good and damn if I don't like knifing those midget bastards.
There I was in Yhoator Jungle, when she came up behind me.
ExMrsSmithy>> Guess who.
GoblinSmithy>> By the smell...
GoblinSmithy>> I'd guess a dead Marlboro.
ExMrsSmithy>> It's me, Silly. Your wife.
ExMrsSmithy>> I'm back.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure it isn't a dead Marlboro?
GoblinSmithy>> I would so prefer that.
ExMrsSmithy>> You're still angry.
GoblinSmithy>> Me? Angry?
GoblinSmithy>> Why would I be angry?
ExMrsSmithy>> Well, because I left you for a Gigas.
ExMrsSmithy>> Because had a larger penis than you.
ExMrsSmithy>> Oh! Don't forget that I stabbed you, too.
GoblinSmithy>> Do you know what a rhetorical question is?
ExMrsSmithy>> No.
ExMrsSmithy>> What?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Nevermind.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell do you want?
ExMrsSmithy>> I want you to take me back.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry. We're all out of forgiveness today.
GoblinSmithy>> Can I interest you in some go to hell?
ExMrsSmithy>> Honey...
GoblinSmithy>> It comes with your choice of kiss my ass.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please.
ExMrsSmithy>> I need you.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> You need a good plastic surgeon.
ExMrsSmithy>> I was thinking of getting some work done.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't think "a little work" will help.
GoblinSmithy>> You need to tear that down and start over.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please, Smithy.
ExMrsSmithy>> Take me back.
ExMrsSmithy>> I love you.
GoblinSmithy>> That's funny.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you said you loved me.
GoblinSmithy>> And not you left me for a giant pile of ugly.
ExMrsSmithy>> It was a mistake.
ExMrsSmithy>> A big, big mistake.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, but I think he learned his lesson.
ExMrsSmithy>> Come on.
ExMrsSmithy>> You know you want to take me back.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> Part of me wants to vomit at the thought.
GoblinSmithy>> Another part is wondering why I haven't stabbed you.
GoblinSmithy>> Part of me is hungry.
ExMrsSmithy>> I know what you're hungry for.
ExMrsSmithy>> Wink, wink.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay, now all the parts want to throw up.
ExMrsSmithy>> Just one last time.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please...
How pathetic. Showing up and begging me to sleep with her.
I was so disgusted I could barely do it.
Five times.
When I woke up, I just kept staring at her.
Staring at her lying next to me.
You know... Cutting off your own arm isn't as bad as it sounds.
No one can resist the Smithy charm.
I'm sure you all remember my ex-wife or, as I like to call her, "the face that beauty forgot".
You may also remember that the tramp left me for a Gigas.
Not the greatest day.
Well, everything changed yesterday. She came crawling and crying, begging me to take her back.
JACKPOT!
There is nothing as satisfying as seeing a woman who dumped you crying all over herself and begging for forgiveness.
Even stabbing Tarus doesn't feel that good and damn if I don't like knifing those midget bastards.
There I was in Yhoator Jungle, when she came up behind me.
ExMrsSmithy>> Guess who.
GoblinSmithy>> By the smell...
GoblinSmithy>> I'd guess a dead Marlboro.
ExMrsSmithy>> It's me, Silly. Your wife.
ExMrsSmithy>> I'm back.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure it isn't a dead Marlboro?
GoblinSmithy>> I would so prefer that.
ExMrsSmithy>> You're still angry.
GoblinSmithy>> Me? Angry?
GoblinSmithy>> Why would I be angry?
ExMrsSmithy>> Well, because I left you for a Gigas.
ExMrsSmithy>> Because had a larger penis than you.
ExMrsSmithy>> Oh! Don't forget that I stabbed you, too.
GoblinSmithy>> Do you know what a rhetorical question is?
ExMrsSmithy>> No.
ExMrsSmithy>> What?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Nevermind.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell do you want?
ExMrsSmithy>> I want you to take me back.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry. We're all out of forgiveness today.
GoblinSmithy>> Can I interest you in some go to hell?
ExMrsSmithy>> Honey...
GoblinSmithy>> It comes with your choice of kiss my ass.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please.
ExMrsSmithy>> I need you.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> You need a good plastic surgeon.
ExMrsSmithy>> I was thinking of getting some work done.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't think "a little work" will help.
GoblinSmithy>> You need to tear that down and start over.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please, Smithy.
ExMrsSmithy>> Take me back.
ExMrsSmithy>> I love you.
GoblinSmithy>> That's funny.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you said you loved me.
GoblinSmithy>> And not you left me for a giant pile of ugly.
ExMrsSmithy>> It was a mistake.
ExMrsSmithy>> A big, big mistake.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, but I think he learned his lesson.
ExMrsSmithy>> Come on.
ExMrsSmithy>> You know you want to take me back.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> Part of me wants to vomit at the thought.
GoblinSmithy>> Another part is wondering why I haven't stabbed you.
GoblinSmithy>> Part of me is hungry.
ExMrsSmithy>> I know what you're hungry for.
ExMrsSmithy>> Wink, wink.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay, now all the parts want to throw up.
ExMrsSmithy>> Just one last time.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please...
How pathetic. Showing up and begging me to sleep with her.
I was so disgusted I could barely do it.
Five times.
When I woke up, I just kept staring at her.
Staring at her lying next to me.
You know... Cutting off your own arm isn't as bad as it sounds.
posted by Goblin Smithy at 11:56 PM
11 Comments:
lol :d nice work
lol That's funny.
Goblins sleep together?
Funny stuff SMithy, I hope you used a condom atleast once...wouldn't want to pay child support on the spawn of ugly.
Reeree says something I can't say but I think she means "Ew."
I think Mrs. Smithy is nice like a fox!
"How pathetic. Showing up and begging me to sleep with her.
I was so disgusted I could barely do it.
Five times."
Priceless, made me laugh just thinking about it.
Oh, I stabbed her.
I stabbed her all night long.
...
Someone kill me.
*groan* After that one I feel compelled to comply
Excellent blog Smithy
*gasp* I thought we had something special going! *feels betrayed*
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I AM BEATRICE from UNITED STATE, my man was cheating on me since last year with his co_worker, i was upset and confused on what to do, i tried my best to win his heart back but all effort was wasted until on 21 of this February when i came across a spiritual man called DR MACK, i saw a many post about his wonderful work and i contact him via his Email and explained to him and he asked for some information which i gave him and he told me that my heart desire will be granted just in 3 days, i was skeptical but i gave me the chance to help me, to my surprise my Boyfriend called me 5 time to tell that he is so sorry and that he wants me back and wants to marry me, everything happened like a dream but i am so happy that i have my boyfriend back and we are planning to get married soon, if you want to Ex back please don't hesitate to contact ( dr.mac@yahoo.com ;).....
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