They All Come Crawling Back
No one can resist the Smithy charm.
I'm sure you all remember my ex-wife or, as I like to call her, "the face that beauty forgot".
You may also remember that the tramp left me for a Gigas.
Not the greatest day.
Well, everything changed yesterday. She came crawling and crying, begging me to take her back.
There is nothing as satisfying as seeing a woman who dumped you crying all over herself and begging for forgiveness.
Even stabbing Tarus doesn't feel that good and damn if I don't like knifing those midget bastards.
There I was in Yhoator Jungle, when she came up behind me.
ExMrsSmithy>> Guess who.
GoblinSmithy>> By the smell...
GoblinSmithy>> I'd guess a dead Marlboro.
ExMrsSmithy>> It's me, Silly. Your wife.
ExMrsSmithy>> I'm back.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure it isn't a dead Marlboro?
GoblinSmithy>> I would so prefer that.
ExMrsSmithy>> You're still angry.
GoblinSmithy>> Me? Angry?
GoblinSmithy>> Why would I be angry?
ExMrsSmithy>> Well, because I left you for a Gigas.
ExMrsSmithy>> Because had a larger penis than you.
ExMrsSmithy>> Oh! Don't forget that I stabbed you, too.
GoblinSmithy>> Do you know what a rhetorical question is?
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell do you want?
ExMrsSmithy>> I want you to take me back.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry. We're all out of forgiveness today.
GoblinSmithy>> Can I interest you in some go to hell?
GoblinSmithy>> It comes with your choice of kiss my ass.
ExMrsSmithy>> I need you.
GoblinSmithy>> You need a good plastic surgeon.
ExMrsSmithy>> I was thinking of getting some work done.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't think "a little work" will help.
GoblinSmithy>> You need to tear that down and start over.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please, Smithy.
ExMrsSmithy>> Take me back.
ExMrsSmithy>> I love you.
GoblinSmithy>> That's funny.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you said you loved me.
GoblinSmithy>> And not you left me for a giant pile of ugly.
ExMrsSmithy>> It was a mistake.
ExMrsSmithy>> A big, big mistake.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, but I think he learned his lesson.
ExMrsSmithy>> Come on.
ExMrsSmithy>> You know you want to take me back.
GoblinSmithy>> Part of me wants to vomit at the thought.
GoblinSmithy>> Another part is wondering why I haven't stabbed you.
GoblinSmithy>> Part of me is hungry.
ExMrsSmithy>> I know what you're hungry for.
ExMrsSmithy>> Wink, wink.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay, now all the parts want to throw up.
ExMrsSmithy>> Just one last time.
How pathetic. Showing up and begging me to sleep with her.
I was so disgusted I could barely do it.
When I woke up, I just kept staring at her.
Staring at her lying next to me.
You know... Cutting off your own arm isn't as bad as it sounds.