Saturday, August 12, 2006

They All Come Crawling Back

I knew it. I just knew it.

No one can resist the Smithy charm.

I'm sure you all remember my ex-wife or, as I like to call her, "the face that beauty forgot".

You may also remember that the tramp left me for a Gigas.

Not the greatest day.

Well, everything changed yesterday. She came crawling and crying, begging me to take her back.

JACKPOT!

There is nothing as satisfying as seeing a woman who dumped you crying all over herself and begging for forgiveness.

Even stabbing Tarus doesn't feel that good and damn if I don't like knifing those midget bastards.

There I was in Yhoator Jungle, when she came up behind me.

ExMrsSmithy>> Guess who.
GoblinSmithy>> By the smell...
GoblinSmithy>> I'd guess a dead Marlboro.
ExMrsSmithy>> It's me, Silly. Your wife.
ExMrsSmithy>> I'm back.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure it isn't a dead Marlboro?
GoblinSmithy>> I would so prefer that.
ExMrsSmithy>> You're still angry.
GoblinSmithy>> Me? Angry?
GoblinSmithy>> Why would I be angry?
ExMrsSmithy>> Well, because I left you for a Gigas.
ExMrsSmithy>> Because had a larger penis than you.
ExMrsSmithy>> Oh! Don't forget that I stabbed you, too.
GoblinSmithy>> Do you know what a rhetorical question is?
ExMrsSmithy>> No.
ExMrsSmithy>> What?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Nevermind.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell do you want?
ExMrsSmithy>> I want you to take me back.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry. We're all out of forgiveness today.
GoblinSmithy>> Can I interest you in some go to hell?
ExMrsSmithy>> Honey...
GoblinSmithy>> It comes with your choice of kiss my ass.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please.
ExMrsSmithy>> I need you.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> You need a good plastic surgeon.
ExMrsSmithy>> I was thinking of getting some work done.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't think "a little work" will help.
GoblinSmithy>> You need to tear that down and start over.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please, Smithy.
ExMrsSmithy>> Take me back.
ExMrsSmithy>> I love you.
GoblinSmithy>> That's funny.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you said you loved me.
GoblinSmithy>> And not you left me for a giant pile of ugly.
ExMrsSmithy>> It was a mistake.
ExMrsSmithy>> A big, big mistake.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, but I think he learned his lesson.
ExMrsSmithy>> Come on.
ExMrsSmithy>> You know you want to take me back.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> Part of me wants to vomit at the thought.
GoblinSmithy>> Another part is wondering why I haven't stabbed you.
GoblinSmithy>> Part of me is hungry.
ExMrsSmithy>> I know what you're hungry for.
ExMrsSmithy>> Wink, wink.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay, now all the parts want to throw up.
ExMrsSmithy>> Just one last time.
ExMrsSmithy>> Please...

How pathetic. Showing up and begging me to sleep with her.

I was so disgusted I could barely do it.

Five times.

When I woke up, I just kept staring at her.

Staring at her lying next to me.

You know... Cutting off your own arm isn't as bad as it sounds.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol :d nice work

12:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol That's funny.

12:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goblins sleep together?

1:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny stuff SMithy, I hope you used a condom atleast once...wouldn't want to pay child support on the spawn of ugly.

4:14 AM  
Blogger Squirt said...

Reeree says something I can't say but I think she means "Ew."

I think Mrs. Smithy is nice like a fox!

6:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"How pathetic. Showing up and begging me to sleep with her.

I was so disgusted I could barely do it.

Five times."

Priceless, made me laugh just thinking about it.

4:32 PM  
Blogger Goblin Smithy said...

Oh, I stabbed her.

I stabbed her all night long.

...

Someone kill me.

12:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*groan* After that one I feel compelled to comply

Excellent blog Smithy

2:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

*gasp* I thought we had something special going! *feels betrayed*

8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello every one i want to testify the great work of DR omozokpia who helped me bring back my ex-boyfriend when i was frustrated some months ago, me and my boy-friend have been dating for the past 6 years will love and cherish each other so much that he promise to marry me, one morning my boy-friend call me on phone telling me to come over and see him and i did, when i got there he was telling me different type of story that he is in love with his co-worker that he want to marry her after been with me for good 6 years, he use and dump me. i try all my best to have him back but know one could help till i come across one great spell caster DR Omozokpia and explain everything to him and he promise to return him back to me in just 48 hours, after casting the love and return spell my mark call me on phone asking me to forgiveness him that he still love and cherish me that he want to settle down with me, he came will prepare and did our marriage, right now will are in our honey moon in biggest hotel in Dubai, once again thank you for building my marriage and i will keep on sharing this wonderful testimony you can also reach him at: omozokpialovetemple@outlook.com

3:37 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I AM BEATRICE from UNITED STATE, my man was cheating on me since last year with his co_worker, i was upset and confused on what to do, i tried my best to win his heart back but all effort was wasted until on 21 of this February when i came across a spiritual man called DR MACK, i saw a many post about his wonderful work and i contact him via his Email and explained to him and he asked for some information which i gave him and he told me that my heart desire will be granted just in 3 days, i was skeptical but i gave me the chance to help me, to my surprise my Boyfriend called me 5 time to tell that he is so sorry and that he wants me back and wants to marry me, everything happened like a dream but i am so happy that i have my boyfriend back and we are planning to get married soon, if you want to Ex back please don't hesitate to contact ( dr.mac@yahoo.com ;).....
USA

3:44 PM  

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