Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Proud Papa

Okay, I've been getting this one question over and over again all week. Here's your damned answer.

YES, I HAVE A FREAKIN' CHOCOBO!

I mean, you can't walk three feet in Vana'diel these days without tripping over a chocobo egg. I figured I'd give it a shot.

If everything works out, I'll have my very own chocobo to ride around on.

If not, I'll get a free lunch out of the deal.

Chocobo>> Kweh!
GoblinSmithy>> That's great.
GoblinSmithy>> Now, get in the frying pan.

But damn those little bastards are cute. I didn't think I'd actually like the thing, but now I'm following him around and playing with him.

Shut up. Do you know how stupid you'd feel if you got your ass kicked by a Goblin walking his baby chocobo?

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of walking my new baby through Yuhtunga Jungle. Next thing I know, Pathfinder is all over me.

GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty!
GoblinPathfinder>> You got a pet!
GoblinSmithy>> Uhh... Yeah.
GoblinPathfinder>> That's so cool.
GoblinPathfinder>> He's amazing.
GoblinPathfinder>> He's incredible.
GoblinPathfinder>> What is he?
GoblinSmithy>> Sigh...
GoblinSmithy>> He's a chocobo.
GoblinPathfinder>> What's his name?
GoblinSmithy>> I don't know.
GoblinSmithy>> Who gives a damn?
GoblinSmithy>> It's just a stupid pet.
GoblinPathfinder>> ...
GoblinPathfinder>> I'll pretend I didn't hear that.
GoblinPathfinder>> You have to give him a name.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay...
GoblinSmithy>> I'll name him Stay.
GoblinPathfinder>> ... That's a funny name.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait until I try to call him.
GoblinSmithy>> "Come here, Stay! Stay! Come here!"
GoblinSmithy>> He'll have an aneurysm.
GoblinPathfinder>> You can't do that.
GoblinPathfinder>> Name him something nice.
GoblinSmithy>> How about Ravion?
GoblinPathfinder>> Better.
GoblinPathfinder>> How'd you come up with it?
GoblinSmithy>> Well, I found the egg on a corpse.
GoblinSmithy>> The corpse's name was Ravion.
GoblinSmithy>> Made sense to me.
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't like that idea either.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're not taking this seriously.
GoblinSmithy>> It would be hard to.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty...
GoblinSmithy>> Fine, fine.
GoblinSmithy>> How about Junior?
GoblinPathfinder>> Aww...
GoblinPathfinder>> That's cute.
GoblinPathfinder>> But why Junior?
GoblinSmithy>> Well, we think the same way.
GoblinPathfinder>> What do you mean?

That's when Junior attacked Pathfinder's face. He was screaming and squawking and flapping...

Junior was pretty excited, too.

I must admit, the little guy was really impressive. I mean, it doesn't take a lot to kill Pathfinder, but it was still amazing.

You haven't seen cute until you've seen your baby chocobo tear out someone's trachea.

Maybe I will keep him afterall.

21 Comments:

Blogger Carrin said...

For a moment, I was afraid for the poor chocobo. Anything that makes Smithy happy either dies, or suffers another horrible end.

Looks like it's got the same mind-set as You, so it'll be quite fine.

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Raine said...

aw...mine hatched today. :huggles her little boy choco:

12:42 AM  
Blogger Bitneko said...

Mine hatched today, I named him Smoking Fatty! XD

1:03 AM  
Blogger Drescher the Great said...

Getting a chocobo to attack someone.. Priceless.

1:08 AM  
Blogger Sally said...

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1:17 AM  
Blogger Axit said...

heck yeah! thats my kind of chocobo right there!

1:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I named mine Firecracker Foot... What? You throw Ficrackers at feet, makes sense right?

2:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can see my chick's been hanging out with the wrong crowd... she needs to make friends with Junior! Ain't no chocoboy gonna give her guff then!

5:05 AM  
Blogger Cyberdragon said...

Sweet!
An attack Chocobo, maybe I'll raise one for a purposes other than Kentucky Fried Chocobo after all.
Just be careful about putting him to sleep. (Strange Chocobo disorder).

7:59 AM  
Blogger Lokyar said...

Note to self: Research teaching Firaga II to chocobos. Irony or apocalypse, only time will tell.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Cheesy said...

Funny as hell... I usually read this at work, and I cracked up. Good start to a morning...

11:37 AM  
Blogger Bellemithra said...

Hehe nice!!!!!!

1:09 PM  
Blogger Terry Tolleson said...

Classic. Hehe... Nothing says cute like impromtu tracheotomies.

2:48 PM  
Blogger Valle said...

Chocobo name? Hurricane Impact!

3:21 PM  
Blogger Xen_the_monk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:10 PM  
Blogger Xen_the_monk said...

GoblinSmithy>> Wait until I try to call him.
GoblinSmithy>> "Come here, Stay! Stay! Come here!"
GoblinSmithy>> He'll have an aneurysm.

i died laughing at this part LMAO

10:11 PM  
Blogger Kittos said...

haha chocobos are so mean XDDDDD

10:45 PM  
Blogger Sandra White said...

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1:06 AM  
Blogger ~Silent Lilac~ said...

So this was why you kept chasing my party's puller in the Jungle. It makes sense now. Every time he went for a Mandy, you were training your chocobo to attack adventurers. I look forward to seeing what other havoc you cause for us with that walking meal.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Solid Squid said...

I now have pictures in my head of formations of chocobos + riders running around with the chocobos shooting out eggs every few seconds as they run. Thanks for that

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Akashimo said...

lol, i knew there will be a day with smithy and his attacking chocobo :O <|All Right!|> just didn't expect soo soon :x

2:40 AM  

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