Mrs. Pathfinder

Once I had escaped from prison, I needed to hide out.

Well... I assumed I needed to hide out. That's what they do in the movies. You break out and then you hide. Occasionally, there's some witty banter and maybe a car chase.

My plan was foolproof.

Unfortunately, finding a hiding spot proved to be more difficult than I had anticipated.

Apparently, killing scores of adventurers and beastmen on a near daily basis makes you stick out in a crowd.

I went to Jeuno and everyone started screaming.

San d'Oria, screaming.

Bastok, screaming.

Windurst... Well, the Tarus just kind of wet themselves. Still, it made it a little awkward.

I was trying to figure out my next move, when I heard the rumble of approaching footsteps. It was either the prison guards coming to get me, or a horde of Garrison NPCs bearing down on me.

Either way, I had to find a hiding spot and fast.

I glanced to the side and noticed a little cottage hidden amongst the trees, so I quickly ducked inside.

GoblinSmithy>> Damn, that was close.
MrsPathfinder>> Well, hello there.

What's this? Did I accidentally stumble into Pathfinder's house and run into his new wife?

No.

It was his mom, MrsPathfinder.

Yeah, imagine Pathfinder in an apron. That's about it.

MrsPathfinder>> How are you today, Smitty?
GoblinSmithy>> You know who I am?
MrsPathfinder>> Of course I do.
MrsPathfinder>> My son is always talking about you.
GoblinSmithy>> He is?
GoblinSmithy>> That's...
GoblinSmithy>> That's a little frightening, I gotta say.
MrsPathfinder>> Oh, he's always going on about you.
MrsPathfinder>> All the trouble you two get in.
GoblinSmithy>> He tells you everything?
GoblinSmithy>> How much of everything?
GoblinSmithy>> I really don't like leaving witnesses.
MrsPathfinder>> Haha.
MrsPathfinder>> Pathy was right. You are a kidder.
GoblinSmithy>> That's me.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm a regular comedian.
MrsPathfinder>> I've been meaning to thank you, by the way.
GoblinSmithy>> Thank me?
GoblinSmithy>> For what?
MrsPathfinder>> For watching out for my boy.
MrsPathfinder>> You may not know this, but he's not the smartest.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm shocked.
GoblinSmithy>> This is how I look when I'm surprised.
MrsPathfinder>> He's always been a special child.
GoblinSmithy>> You left out the "ed".
MrsPathfinder>> What did you say, sweetie?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... Nothing.
MrsPathfinder>> I'm just glad he has someone like you.
MrsPathfinder>> Someone to look out for him.
GoblinSmithy>> He said I look out for him?
MrsPathfinder>> Of course.
MrsPathfinder>> You're his best friend.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Dammit!
GoblinSmithy>> Now, I have to go and save him.
GoblinSmithy>> Thanks alot.

Dammit, Dammit, Dammit!

Now, I have to go back in there and get Pathfinder out.

Stupid old lady with the being nice and the guilt.

I may have to stab her yet. I'm undecided.

That'll have to wait, though, because I have to figure out a way to get sent back to jail.

Yeah, I'm really happy about where my life is right now.