Monday, September 18, 2006

Smithy Attempts To Get Arrested - Vol. 2

Dammit, dammit, dammit.

I've been trying to get arrested for two days straight.

I figured the easiest way to get arrested (given the fact that the drooling morons in Bastok are too retarded to arrest a murderer) was to go to the most up-tight, anal retentive city on the planet.

So, I'm in San d'Oria...

Rather than beat around the bush, I figured I might as well go for the gold. Subtlety does not seem to be one of my strong suits.

Why kill nameless citizens when you can go right for royalty?

I snuck into Chateau d'Oraguille and thought I was doing a damned good job being all stealthy when...

Halver>> Excuse me?
Halver>> Yes... You there.

Oh crap.

Halver>> What are you doing here?

Think fast, think fast, think fast.

GoblinSmithy>> I'm...

Think faster.

GoblinSmithy>> I'm... Prince Trion.

Bra-frickin'-vo.

Halver>> What?
GoblinSmithy>> I said I'm... an adventurer.

Here it comes. They caught me and now I have to fight my way out.

Halver>> Oh...
Halver>> Okay, then.
GoblinSmithy>> Really?
GoblinSmithy>> That's it?
Halver>> Why?
Halver>> Is there something wrong?
GoblinSmithy>> I was expecting a little more suspicion.
Halver>> You say you're an adventurer.
Halver>> Good enough for me.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Seriously?
Halver>> Yeah, sure.
Halver>> Whatever.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Cool, I guess.
Halver>> Later.
GoblinSmithy>> Later.

This was going to be much easier than I thought.

Halver>> WAIT A SECOND!!!

Dammit. Why do I have to think things like that?

I dropped my hand to my sword. They might take me, but dammit some people are going to die doing it.

Halver>> Could you do me a favor?
GoblinSmithy>> A favor?
GoblinSmithy>> Sure.
Halver>> Prince Trion is a little lonely.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, hell no.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't swing that way.
Halver>> What?
Halver>> Oh... No, that's not what I meant.
Halver>> Prince Trion needs a woman.
GoblinSmithy>> And?
Halver>> Could you go out and find a woman for him?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Are you kidding?
Halver>> No.
Halver>> He's far too busy to go and find his own woman.
GoblinSmithy>> Busy doing what?
Halver>> Playing WoW.
Halver>> He's trying to get an epic mount.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sure any lady will jump at that.
Halver>> So, will you do it?
GoblinSmithy>> Will I get to meet the prince?
Halver>> Yeah, sure.
GoblinSmithy>> Why not?
GoblinSmithy>> Give me an hour.
Halver>> Oh... Wait...
GoblinSmithy>> What now?
GoblinSmithy>> Do you want me to pick up your dry cleaning?
Halver>> N0, no, no.
Halver>> We have Mithras who do that.
GoblinSmithy>> What then?
Halver>> Well... Trion is kind of picky.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay...
Halver>> The woman has to be a hume.
GoblinSmithy>> That's not so bad.
GoblinSmithy>> how hard could it be to find a hume?
Halver>> A blond hume.
GoblinSmithy>> Fine.
GoblinSmithy>> A blond hume.
Halver>> With a ponytail.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> With a ponytail.
GoblinSmithy>> Got it.
Halver>> Named Stephanie.
GoblinSmithy>> What?!
Halver>> And born in November.
GoblinSmithy>> OH COME ON!
Halver>> And not too bitchy.
Halver>> I'm going to have to throw the bitch out in the morning.
Halver>> I don't want too much trouble.
GoblinSmithy>> Heaven forbid.
Halver>> Do you have all that?
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> A blond yada yada yada.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm on it.
Halver>> Good.
Halver>> Thanks.
GoblinSmithy>> No problem.
Halver>> Wait.
Halver>> One more thing.
GoblinSmithy>> What now?
GoblinSmithy>> Blue eyes?
GoblinSmithy>> Big tits?
GoblinSmithy>> What else do you want?
Halver>> ...
Halver>> Could you pick me up a sandwich?

Good news is that apparently you can get thrown in jail for killing Halver.

Let the prince go get his own chicks.

16 Comments:

Blogger Kittos said...

\(^_^)/ yay at least ya got into jail!!!!
>_> but halver didn't get his sammich T_T

11:07 PM  
Blogger Xen_the_monk said...

lol... Trion was playing WoW... he needs to die!!!!!

11:19 PM  
Blogger zerombr said...

sounds like the prince and I share a few common ideas about the perfect woman ^_^

11:50 PM  
Blogger Santa said...

Nooo ... not the Magnificent Chateau!

11:50 PM  
Blogger Myloko said...

Just cause good looking women like myself have blonde hair, blue eyes, and large breasts don't mean that we need to be stereotyped >.>

1:01 AM  
Blogger Dyamalos said...

Just nuke sandy to the ground. Then Bastok could take over.

Not all bastokians are stupid, the stupid ones are the only ones that hang around the place, all the smart ones are in aht uragan or Jeuno.

The reason? Galkas act like a black hole for intelligence.

Cid is the only one immune.

1:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on second jailing.

dyamalos
Trust me it's not the Galkas, Bastok has a cripleing flaw that damages the intelligence of all that enter it's walls.
Bastok has politicians, the primary job of a politician is to make up and throw out so disinformation so you can't firgure out they have no clue how things work. And thier elected to do this...

3:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ever stood in Jeuno shouting:

/sh Blond {Hume} {Woman} with hair parted in the middle, {Help me out} {please} {short time}!

I have... and i felt like such a pimp after... damn you SC!! >.>

4:37 AM  
Blogger kitty monk said...

"Cid is the only one immune."

Cid has creepy teeth.

4:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

stabbing star sybil would be for un she isahume afterall(with allmighty summoner powers but thats beyond the point)

5:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Halver>> The woman has to be a hume.
GoblinSmithy>> That's not so bad.
GoblinSmithy>> how hard could it be to find a hume?
Halver>> A blond hume.
GoblinSmithy>> Fine.
GoblinSmithy>> A blond hume.
Halver>> With a ponytail.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> With a ponytail.
GoblinSmithy>> Got it.
Halver>> Named Stephanie.
GoblinSmithy>> What?!
Halver>> And born in November.

LOL, Little Britain reference! Instant win! XD

6:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You remind me of Grendel XD I hope that doesn't offend you

7:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would being told that he reminds yuo of Grendel offend Smithy? Grendel is like a monster Demi-god, if you can get past the living with his mother bit.

8:58 AM  
Blogger Thistle said...

GoblinSmithy>> I'm... Prince Trion.

Prince Trion, AKA the prince who thought he could replace himself with a rabbit from Ronf and fool everyone in Chateau d'Oraguille. Halver probably would have thought that he just got a better costume. :P

11:15 AM  
Blogger kitty monk said...

"Prince Trion, AKA the prince who thought he could replace himself with a rabbit from Ronf and fool everyone in Chateau d'Oraguille. Halver probably would have thought that he just got a better costume. :P"


Don't forget his chicken scratch handwriting. =P And his "Let's wear /gold/ instead of /silver/! No one will know who I am! BRILLIANT!"

4:40 PM  
Blogger catwho said...

I thought Trion's real love was for feisty redheads *coughCurillacough*

I wonder when/if Halver is ever gonna find out about them >_>

7:22 PM  

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