Thursday, October 05, 2006

Twelve Steps

Once I had recovered from my burns, I sat down with Shaman and we talked about his problem.

I know a lot of you are wondering why I'm being so nice to Shaman lately. It's not like me to be so kind.

That's true.

But you have to understand that Shaman is my best friend.

Hell, he's my only friend.

I'd do anything for that guy.

Okay... Shaman and his Black Mage buddies help me do some BCNMs to make gil. These pointy subligars don't come cheap you know.

If I don't fix him and soon, I'm going to be flat broke and not be able to purchase armor.

And since I don't think anyone wants to see me running around Yhoator with no pants on, I've got to get Shaman back on his feet.

If I have to be nice to do that, then so be it. I'll murder a few extra morons tomorrow to balance it out.

After some gentle persuasion (and me pulling out my sword), we decided it might be good for him to join a support group.

If this didn't fix him, I don't know what would.

I walked him over to the meeting and wished him good luck.

GoblinShaman>> You're not coming in?
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm not the one with the problem.
GoblinShaman>> Are you sure you...
GoblinSmithy>> OKAY, KNOCK IT OFF!!!
GoblinShaman>> ...
GoblinShaman>> I was just asking if you wanted to go with me.
GoblinShaman>> You know, like support.
GoblinSmithy>> Uh... NO.
GoblinSmithy>> Now, just toddle in there and get fixed.
GoblinSmithy>> Yell, cry, hug each other...
GoblinSmithy>> Whatever.
GoblinShaman>> I really don't want to go in there alone.

I was struck by an internal conflict.

On one side was my intense hatred of people and having to listen to stupid people.

On the other was my fondness for having money to buy luxuries such as food and clothing.

Hatred of people.

Fondness for pants.

How does a man make such a decision?

GoblinShaman>> I think they have free donuts.
GoblinSmithy>> Free donuts?
GoblinSmithy>> Sure, I'll go with you.
GoblinSmithy>> Gotta support my best friend, you know.
GoblinShaman>> I'm touched.
GoblinSmithy>> Great.
GoblinSmithy>> I get donuts and you get touched.
GoblinSmithy>> Win-win.

And with that, we stepped into Shaman's first meeting...

Five minutes later, we stepped out of Shaman's first meeting.

GoblinSmithy>> Good meeting.
GoblinSmithy>> You fixed yet?
GoblinShaman>> I can't believe you just did that.
GoblinSmithy>> What?
GoblinShaman>> You stabbed a guy in the neck.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> Good times.
GoblinShaman>> You're insane.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, he was asking for it.
GoblinSmithy>> He was a gilbuyer.
GoblinSmithy>> I know.
GoblinSmithy>> It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
GoblinShaman>> YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
GoblinShaman>> IT'S WRONG!
GoblinSmithy>> If killing gilbuyers is wrong, I don't want to be right.

He kind of stormed off after that.

I guess the meeting just wasn't for him.

Maybe it was that gobbie bomb I lobbed into the crowd.

Man, that got messy.

Good donuts, though.


Blogger Onionsoilder said...

Erm... not that great, but still kinda funny.

12:29 AM  
Blogger Carrin said...

5 minutes? You must be getting soft.

The you I thought I knew would have slaughtered them all, and stood upon their bodies like a Gladiator after an epic battle.

After looting them of course.

12:30 AM  
Blogger Zlo said...

lol gobby bomb in a middle of a gilbuyer noob crowd.

I want a picture of that man.

Nice post smithy.

2:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

See more information on Travel Web here.

3:37 AM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

HOLLA WESSIDE!! dey be crazy buyin mad fake loot yo! u cant buy a beamer wit da spinnahz wit fake loot. that junkz dont be werkin yo i tried! aight nikka im outie fo showtie

9:53 AM  
Blogger Valle said...

You know, you're not so much a "token black guy" as you're a "tokin' black guy", if you catch my drift...

10:47 AM  
Blogger zerombr said...

....this 'token' guy is so fake, I swear. He makes me sad. He should be arrested for murdering the English language. Some wannabe gangster who hangs out at a FFXI blog? Yeah...represent that....Sheesh, 'token' get a freakin life.

12:09 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

some body finally gettid mah name "token" black guy holla! u right brah i be tokin! fa sho! stop being racist us thugs can like FF games too they mad azz hot. i still say dey should make gangsta a job in FF! my AF weapon will be da 9 milly cap cap cap! killin mobs n takin they loot!! holla back! wewt wewt!

3:15 PM  
Blogger Shayde said...

/blacklist add Token Black Guy

*rolls eyes*

Nice job, Smithy.

3:32 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...


4:01 PM  
Blogger RDMFire said...

Nice post.

Token. Stop trying to be black cause you know you are just a simplton wanting attention.
So, shut the heck up.

5:13 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

damn g i didnt do nuffin to u and u iz hatin datz whack

5:48 PM  
Blogger Carrin said...

Or maybe, just maybe, he's trying to make a point about people who do that type of thing in MMO's.

That would explain his name in a more literal sense.

But, if you guys wish to continue to flame him...

6:17 PM  
Blogger Bitneko said...

So... he's trying to act like an idiot to make a point? Hmm...

12:04 AM  
Anonymous Tog the Stabbed said...

Nice one Smithy! Great mental images. Rock on and write on!

3:58 AM  
Blogger Kittos said...

lol T_T good job smithy :)

6:38 AM  
Blogger Alan - anubiss4 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4:16 AM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

who be wantin ta hear mo of diz hot a$$ rappin i be doin? let a G know yo fa sho so i can flow my blow up in yo hoz! HOLLAAA

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Raine said...

Token, you fail at life. please go die. kthnksbai

11:40 AM  
Blogger Turkeysurgeon said...

Funny shit! Good job once again Smithy.

Token, we all know your white, or retarded....I think that counts as a color too. In any case go fuck yourself behind a bush with a big rubber dick you jackass. Smithy will be along in a few to cut off your head and wear your face for halloween.

11:56 AM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

yo?! WTF?!?! mad azz racism yo! why u be gottin to be so wack yo? you iz da one who be needin to be in some bushes when i cap you wit mah 9 milly fo!! HOLLLAAAA

12:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Token, if you are so against racist, then why do you feel the need to called your self "Token Black guy" you may talk like that, but why spend extra time typing like that?

1:17 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

cuz G! i gotsta represent mah peepals!! token = tokin' up!! holllaa!!!! u nahmeen? i kno u nahmeen dog!

2:24 PM  
Blogger Cyberdragon said...

Darwinism at it's finest a gob bomb in the middle of a group of gilbuyers. Thats even better than a wipped party of rank 1 subless 34th level RMTers. Thanks for the good laugh!

2:34 PM  
Blogger Turkeysurgeon said...

token black guy said...

cuz G! i gotsta represent mah peepals


I didn't know you people had friends for that. Thats too funny.

4:36 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...


6:35 PM  

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