Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I'm Baaaaack

Man, that was a great vacation.

I was just standing in the middle of Yhoator a few days ago, up to my knees in adventurer entrails, and I decided I needed to take some time off.

You know, take a break from the daily grind.

I mean that literally. I can't very well just leave these bodies lying around. I'd have cops on me every freakin' day.

Do you have any idea how much work is involved in grinding up a Galka?

The Tarus, yeah. They're easy.

You can grind one of them up with a cheese grater.

But a Galka? Damn.

You'd need a thresher for that shit.

So standing there, with an easy five hours of grinding up corpses ahead of me, a vacation seemed like a beautiful idea.

I wanted to go someplace nice. Someplace warm.

The beach maybe.

Unfortunately, the only beach I know of is Valkurm Dunes and I don't think I'd qualify that as a place I'd go to relax.

Actually, I don't think I'd qualify that as a place I'd go. Period.

I was just starting to consider going to Norg on a cruise when Shaman happened by.

GoblinShaman>> Heya, Smithy.
GoblinShaman>> What're you up to?
GoblinSmithy>> My knees in adventurer guts.
GoblinShaman>> I can see that.
GoblinShaman>> I meant what are you doing?
GoblinSmithy>> I'm thinking.
GoblinShaman>> I thought I smelled smoke.
GoblinSmithy>> That reminds me.


GoblinShaman>> Okay, okay.
GoblinShaman>> I'll stop.
GoblinShaman>> What're you thinking about?
GoblinSmithy>> I was thinking of taking a vacation.
GoblinSmithy>> I just can't think of anywhere to go.
GoblinShaman>> What about Windurst?
GoblinSmithy>> Yay! Let's go vacation in a bog!
GoblinSmithy>> Who needs walls when you have sticks and mud?
GoblinSmithy>> How about no?
GoblinShaman>> Well... What are you looking for?
GoblinSmithy>> I was thinking about the beach.
GoblinShaman>> You could always go to Valkurm.

When we both stopped laughing...

GoblinShaman>> I love that joke.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, but sadly, that's it for beaches around here.
GoblinShaman>> What about Bibiki Bay?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> I always forget about that place.
GoblinShaman>> I hear it's nice this time of year.
GoblinShaman>> And it's not that hard to get to.
GoblinSmithy>> That's true.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, I think Bibiki Bay it is.
GoblinSmithy>> Thanks for helping.
GoblinShaman>> No problem.
GoblinShaman>> Can I come?
GoblinSmithy>> No.

Having finally made my decision, I grabbed all of my vacation gear (towels, food, my speedo, etc) and headed off for Bibiki Bay.

I was on Purogo...


Some island and set up my beach chair not far from the water.

The air was warm and humid, and the breeze brought fresh air down off the mountain.

It was paradise. An isolated paradise.

A goblin could get used to this.

Serra>> Smithy?

Or not.

I turned around and there just below the tide line wass a giant fish.

Wait... Fish is too kind a word.

This was a giant pile of ugly wrapped in some more ugly.

Also known as a pugil.

Serra>> Is that you Smithy?!
GoblinSmithy>> That depends.
GoblinSmithy>> Do I owe you money?
Serra>> ... No.
GoblinSmithy>> Did I severely injure you or a family member?
Serra>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you here to exact revenge upon me?
Serra>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> Then yeah, it's me.
GoblinSmithy>> Who are you?
Serra>> Oh, c'mon
Serra>> It's me, Serra.
Serra>> From highschool.
GoblinSmithy>> Serra?
GoblinSmithy>> I haven't seen you in ages.
Serra>> I know.
Serra>> Not since the prom.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought we promised never to speak of that again.
Serra>> Oh, that was years ago.
Serra>> Besides, that wasn't your fault.
GoblinSmithy>> Shut up.
Serra>> It happens to every guy.
GoblinSmithy>> SHUT UP!
Serra>> Well, it's good to see you.
Serra>> What are you up to these days?
GoblinSmithy>> Same old, same old.
GoblinSmithy>> Killin' and Chillin'.
GoblinSmithy>> And you?
GoblinSmithy>> What have you been up to?
Serra>> Not much.
Serra>> I'm an NM now.
GoblinSmithy>> Nice.
GoblinSmithy>> Drops any good?
Serra>> I drop a really nice pair of boots.
GoblinSmithy>> That's cool.
GoblinSmithy>> Rare/EX I suppose.
Serra>> Actually, no.
Serra>> And they go for roughly 150k at the Auction House.
GoblinSmithy>> Really?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I didn't know that...

It was at this point that a moral dilemma struck me.

Which is of greater value: an old friendship or the prospect of new items?

I mean, on the one hand, friends are the most important thing you can have.

On the other hand, I really wanted new boots.

Decisions, decisions. I must have labored over that one for four whole seconds.

Maybe even five.

By the way, does pugil go better with red wine or white wine?


Anonymous joebobby said...

1st bam!

8:05 PM  
Blogger tarinakarelia said...

ok... ur retarded joe...
nice one smitty ^^ 4 or 5 whole seconds?? ur getting soft :)

8:15 PM  
Blogger Valle said...

I think you want some white spirit to go with the pugil >_>

8:20 PM  
Anonymous Kartong said...

So this is why smithy have no friends...

9:22 PM  
Blogger Almorille said...

Either wine would work well. Pugils are a very meaty fish.


9:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

man, id like to see a comic about this
i can really see the whole scene before me
4-5 seconds of hard thinking... and then a broad grin :D



9:32 PM  
Blogger nano said...

Agreed that both work well, you want a dry white or sweet red.

11:37 PM  
Blogger Dealer Man said...

While I'm not much in the wine department, I do feel the need to say one thing about your prom night. My "sword" has failed in the presence of things that smell too fishy, and a pugil is about as fishy as you can get.

12:29 AM  
Blogger Airwave Angel said...

haha i love it.

12:30 AM  
Blogger Carrin said...

She obviously didn't get to know you very well smithy.

1:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thinking of a career change then Smitty ... only Dragoons can equip those boots.

11:06 AM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

holla back yungin! you jacked that slut up fo da kickz yo! fa sho! i be thinkin u mad dope when u do dat dunk dog! in mah hood when someone be rollin with dem hot azz kickz i do dis

TBG>> yo nikka! YO!
homie>> yo yo yo wut is iz TBG?
TBG>> nuttin homie nice kicks u got there
homie>> thanks B. these jump offs cost me like 90 bones yo
TBG>> thats hot thats hot.. where u get em at?
homie>> shiz nikka, i getted deez at that hot new foot locker yo.
TBG>> word?
homie>> word
TBG>> aight cool, then you can get another pair.
homie>> wha...?

Token Black Guy sneaks homie in da domepiece for 100 damage

homie>> OH SNAP WTF!!
TBG>> i said you can get another pair foo!

Token Black Guy sneaks homie for 120 damage
homie falls on the ground fa sho

homie>> nah dog chill! i need deez kicks yo!!
TBG>> stfu you mah bitch now!

Token Black Guy stumps homie for 300 damage
homie drops to level 19.

Token Black guy finds Tims +3 with logo rare/ex.

TBG>> bitch.
homie>> *twitch*

TBG>> yo nikka! YO! NICE JACKET! where'd you get it at G?
Foo>> oh i got dis junk at dat new NY jackets yo, cost me 80 bones...

HOLLA i got da hottness up in herr up in herrr! wewt wewt!!

11:20 AM  
Blogger WHM of Death said...

Token makes my brain hurt..kill him please Smithy!

12:28 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

yo whm of hatin! join da helpful bear clan yo

1:00 PM  
Blogger Zenomorph said...

Your speech... And murder of the English... Make me want to kill anything cute...

1:13 PM  
Anonymous lawl said...

What did the cute ever do to you? :|

1:41 PM  
Anonymous AQ said...

true; it's not the cute that's to be blamed it's TBG...all thou killing something cute might make the pain go away; and damn that "english" hurt!

5:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


9:53 PM  
Blogger Kittos said...

:) mmm fish XD

lol a vegetarian would kill youXD

12:11 AM  
Blogger Lithos said...

Fish are basically swimming vegetables though...

2:33 PM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

holla! anyone with hot azz kickz is a swimming vegetable fo me yo! cap cap cap wit mah 9 millyyyyy!!

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's safe to say Token is officially: A retard. Dude, you aren't from 'the street'. You are from one of the many millions apon millions of streets contained in the world. Find a street, and smash your head against anything sharp and pointy. Like a knife to your temple(s).

P.S. Gansta talk is for prepubescent, whiny, white rapper wannabes that have failed at at life in all possible ways and try to think they're cool because they are also insecure about the size of their miniscule penis


I'd say pugil would go better with red wine. Or Tequila. Which ever works better to get you wasted. Have a good meal smithy!

7:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

TBG, you're an idiot who really ought to go die in a very hot, very smoky fire. "Gangsta" lifestyle is for retards who think it's fun to commit incestuous acts with their sisters.
Or perhaps brothers, take your pick.

Pugil should go well with a nice white, being a fish-related organism. Might I suggest a nice Chardonnay?

6:27 AM  
Blogger Turkeysurgeon said...

WHOA! WHOA GUYS! WHOA! slow down i think your useing too many big words for TBG i mean come one prepubescent and incestuous. He only speaks fucktard....let me translate for you Token Prepubescent means the years immediately after reaching puberty and incestuous means to have sex with your family members and produce more retards.


and I believe the correct term is nigga Token or nigger as it use to be before ppl thought it was cool.

5:10 AM  
Anonymous token black guy said...

aight yo i see how it iz. u hurt be deep. right here *points to heart* thnx yo. thnx..

11:42 AM  

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