I was just standing in the middle of Yhoator a few days ago, up to my knees in adventurer entrails, and I decided I needed to take some time off.
You know, take a break from the daily grind.
I mean that literally. I can't very well just leave these bodies lying around. I'd have cops on me every freakin' day.
Do you have any idea how much work is involved in grinding up a Galka?
The Tarus, yeah. They're easy.
You can grind one of them up with a cheese grater.
But a Galka? Damn.
You'd need a thresher for that shit.
So standing there, with an easy five hours of grinding up corpses ahead of me, a vacation seemed like a beautiful idea.
I wanted to go someplace nice. Someplace warm.
The beach maybe.
Unfortunately, the only beach I know of is Valkurm Dunes and I don't think I'd qualify that as a place I'd go to relax.
Actually, I don't think I'd qualify that as a place I'd go. Period.
I was just starting to consider going to Norg on a cruise when Shaman happened by.
GoblinShaman>> Heya, Smithy.
GoblinShaman>> What're you up to?
GoblinSmithy>> My knees in adventurer guts.
GoblinShaman>> I can see that.
GoblinShaman>> I meant what are you doing?
GoblinSmithy>> I'm thinking.
GoblinShaman>> I thought I smelled smoke.
GoblinSmithy>> That reminds me.
GoblinShaman>> Okay, okay.
GoblinShaman>> I'll stop.
GoblinShaman>> What're you thinking about?
GoblinSmithy>> I was thinking of taking a vacation.
GoblinSmithy>> I just can't think of anywhere to go.
GoblinShaman>> What about Windurst?
GoblinSmithy>> Yay! Let's go vacation in a bog!
GoblinSmithy>> Who needs walls when you have sticks and mud?
GoblinSmithy>> How about no?
GoblinShaman>> Well... What are you looking for?
GoblinSmithy>> I was thinking about the beach.
GoblinShaman>> You could always go to Valkurm.
When we both stopped laughing...
GoblinShaman>> I love that joke.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, but sadly, that's it for beaches around here.
GoblinShaman>> What about Bibiki Bay?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh yeah...
GoblinSmithy>> I always forget about that place.
GoblinShaman>> I hear it's nice this time of year.
GoblinShaman>> And it's not that hard to get to.
GoblinSmithy>> That's true.
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah, I think Bibiki Bay it is.
GoblinSmithy>> Thanks for helping.
GoblinShaman>> No problem.
GoblinShaman>> Can I come?
Having finally made my decision, I grabbed all of my vacation gear (towels, food, my speedo, etc) and headed off for Bibiki Bay.
I was on Purogo...
Some island and set up my beach chair not far from the water.
The air was warm and humid, and the breeze brought fresh air down off the mountain.
It was paradise. An isolated paradise.
A goblin could get used to this.
I turned around and there just below the tide line wass a giant fish.
Wait... Fish is too kind a word.
This was a giant pile of ugly wrapped in some more ugly.
Also known as a pugil.
Serra>> Is that you Smithy?!
GoblinSmithy>> That depends.
GoblinSmithy>> Do I owe you money?
Serra>> ... No.
GoblinSmithy>> Did I severely injure you or a family member?
GoblinSmithy>> Are you here to exact revenge upon me?
GoblinSmithy>> Then yeah, it's me.
GoblinSmithy>> Who are you?
Serra>> Oh, c'mon
Serra>> It's me, Serra.
Serra>> From highschool.
GoblinSmithy>> I haven't seen you in ages.
Serra>> I know.
Serra>> Not since the prom.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought we promised never to speak of that again.
Serra>> Oh, that was years ago.
Serra>> Besides, that wasn't your fault.
GoblinSmithy>> Shut up.
Serra>> It happens to every guy.
GoblinSmithy>> SHUT UP!
Serra>> Well, it's good to see you.
Serra>> What are you up to these days?
GoblinSmithy>> Same old, same old.
GoblinSmithy>> Killin' and Chillin'.
GoblinSmithy>> And you?
GoblinSmithy>> What have you been up to?
Serra>> Not much.
Serra>> I'm an NM now.
GoblinSmithy>> Drops any good?
Serra>> I drop a really nice pair of boots.
GoblinSmithy>> That's cool.
GoblinSmithy>> Rare/EX I suppose.
Serra>> Actually, no.
Serra>> And they go for roughly 150k at the Auction House.
GoblinSmithy>> I didn't know that...
It was at this point that a moral dilemma struck me.
Which is of greater value: an old friendship or the prospect of new items?
I mean, on the one hand, friends are the most important thing you can have.
On the other hand, I really wanted new boots.
Decisions, decisions. I must have labored over that one for four whole seconds.
Maybe even five.
By the way, does pugil go better with red wine or white wine?