Just... Plain... Disturbing...
I've stabbed people in the eye.
I've personally removed someone's digestive system.
I've seen a Galka.
But nothing could prepare me for today. Today, I actually considered stabbing my own eyes out.
After finding poor Junior's body, I decided to take a laid back shift. You know, try and come to terms with his death.
Also, I had to send most of my good armor to the dry cleaners. It was covered in dead chocobo reek.
So, I signed up for a duty shift in Batallia Downs. That way, I would have plenty peace and quiet.
No one actually goes to Batallia Downs. No one.
Oh, they go through Batallia Downs all the freaking time. Most people just zip on through on their chocobos. Zone in, run, zone out.
Every now and then, I catch a level 20 adventurer trying to get to Jeuno for the first time. They're so cute. The way they try to sneak around you, the way they cry, the way they flop around on the ground when you stab them.
That part's always fun.
But today I didn't see any adventurers. Not a single solitary player ran through the area.
I wonder where they all could be.
Honestly, though, I actually liked it better that way. It gave me time to be alone with my thoughts and explore my feelings.
You know, I'm really not that deep.
Mostly my deep inner thoughts consist of stabbing people and old reruns of Saved By The Bell.
What? Like you never watched that show.
Unfortunately, before I could really start to relax, I got interrupted.
GoblinFurrier>> Is that you?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, hi.
GoblinFurrier>> I haven't seen you in ages.
GoblinFurrier>> How have things been?
GoblinSmithy>> Good, good.
GoblinFurrier>> How's the wife?
GoblinSmithy>> She's... good.
GoblinSmithy>> This has been a lot of fun.
GoblinSmithy>> But I really need to get going.
GoblinFurrier>> See you later.
So, I walked away. Things were getting quiet again when I noticed that someone was following me.
It was Furrier.
I ignored him, thinking he'd take the hint and go away.
No such luck.
After about twenty minutes, I'd had enough.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell's the matter with you?
GoblinSmithy>> Why are you following me?
GoblinFurrier>> I'm sorry.
GoblinFurrier>> I'm... lonely.
Aw. Pulls at your heartstrings, doesn't it?
Hell no. This sick bastard was stalking me.
GoblinSmithy>> Wow, great story.
GoblinSmithy>> Can't wait to read the novel.
GoblinSmithy>> Go the hell away.
GoblinFurrier>> Can't we hang out for a little while?
GoblinSmithy>> (( Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass. ))
GoblinFurrier>> Oh, come on.
GoblinSmithy>> Go over there.
GoblinFurrier>> Over where?
GoblinSmithy>> Frankly, I don't give a damn.
GoblinSmithy>> Just get out of my face.
GoblinFurrier>> I don't need you anyway.
GoblinFurrier>> I've got my own friends.
He turned, walked a few feet away, and stopped next to a tiger.
Great, I thought. Another animal lover.
Oh, horrible, horrible irony.
GoblinSmithy>> What are you...
GoblinSmithy>> OH DEAR ALTANA!
GoblinSmithy>> What are you doing to that tiger?!
GoblinFurrier>> I told you I was lonely.
That scene will be forever etched into my brain.
I've decided to start drinking right now and not stop until that image is gone.
Or until I die of alcohol poisoning.
Right now, I don't really have a preference either way.