Saturday, April 29, 2006

Smithy Goes To Limbus

I was rather bored today, so I spent most of the morning trying to figure out what to do.

Let's look at my options:

1) Regular duty in Yuhtunga/Yhoator Jungle

I'd rather stab myself in the eye.

I love the jungles. I really do. The smell of fear in the air is quite nice in the Spring.

But if I have to see one more level 29 WAR/ level 10 WHM trying to hit 30 just to get an advanced job, I'm going to scream.

Seriously. One match and the whole place goes up.

2) Garrison

Yay! I can get gang raped with weapons!

How about no?

3) Dynamis

My flesh is feeling a little too non-charred lately. Plus, the nurses on the burn ward are damned cute.

But I'm thinking I can live without being liquified for another day.


So what does that leave me?

4) Limbus

I haven't actually done Limbus yet, but I've heard good things.

Of course, I heard them from Shaman, the same moron who convinced me to try Garrison.

Note to self: hurt Shaman.

But, because I had nothing better to do, I signed up for Limbus.

I need to get a hobby.

So, I get suited up and ready to go, then head over to catch a warp to Tenemos North. And, as usual, who shows up but Shaman and Pathfinder.

GoblinShaman>> Hi, Smithy.
GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty.
GoblinSmithy>> Hey, Shaman.
GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty.
GoblinSmithy>> I heard you the first time.
GoblinPathfinder>> You didn't say hi.
GoblinSmithy>> And?
GoblinSmithy>> Hey look! A path!
GoblinPathfinder>> Where?

*punch in the back of head*

GoblinSmithy>> I hope this is a quick trip.

That's when I find out we can't warp directly there.


Do I look like someone who enjoys hiking? Do I really?

I realize I may seem like the outdoors type because I spend so much time in the jungle, but I'm honestly not. That's part of the job.

If I could find a job terrorizing n00bs and murdering White Mages in a mall, I'd never go outside again.

A metal subligar gets cold, you know.

So, when they told me we had to catch a Tele-Holla and walk from there, I was pissed.

But money is money. I've got to get some extra hours to cover my WoW account.

And off we went.

We catch a Tele-Holla and already I'm annoyed. Damned Leecher charging me 1000 gil.

The hike probably wouldn't be so bad if Pathfinder hadn't gotten us lost three times.

GoblinSmithy>> I thought you were good with paths.
GoblinPathfinder>> I only find them.
GoblinSmithy>> Just when I thought you had a purpose.
GoblinPathfinder>> Hey look!
GoblinSmithy>> Don't do it.
GoblinPathfinder>> A path!
GoblinSmithy>> Are there any adventurers around?
GoblinSmithy>> I could really go for a sword to the brain right now.

We finally make our way to Tenemos North and I must say I was impressed.

GoblinSmithy>> Sweet.
GoblinSmithy>> Where's camp?
GoblinShaman>> We're on the seventh floor.
GoblinSmithy>> Cool.
GoblinSmithy>> Where's the elevator?
GoblinShaman>> What elevator?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm going to murder you with your own face.

Seven floors and no elevator.

Note to self: start organizing revolution.

So we trudge up 7 flights of stairs. By the time I get to the top, my heart is ready to explode.

And then they hand me a treasure chest to carry.

Yes, you read that right. A FREAKIN' TREASURE CHEST!

GoblinSmithy>> You've got to be kidding.
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell is this for?
GoblinShaman>> The adventurers are going to kill you to get it.
GoblinSmithy>> Hey, Pathfinder.
GoblinSmithy>> Want a treasure chest?
GoblinShaman>> Sorry, man. That one's yours.
GoblinSmithy>> Do we have any plans where I don't get killed?
GoblinSmithy>> We need to get a committee on that.

So we wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Did I mention the waiting?

I'm just getting ready to give up when a huge group of adventurers barrels in.

We go to quick work and they start to lose health fast. This was gonna be easier than I thought.

And then a Ninja got a lucky shot in on me and I dropped my treasure chest.

On my toe.


Just as the pain was starting to recede, a Red Mage runs up and opens my chest.

And their entire party gets back full hp and mp.

Well FREAKIN' Perfect!

After that, we didn't have a chance. We got wiped out.

Luckily, I got to see Pathfinder get killed before me.

Thank Altana for small favors.

And just as I'm about to die, I hear the damned Red Mage say

RedMage>> Well that was a lot of work for nothing.

Glad we could be of service, Bastard.

I hate limbus.


Blogger Reeree said...

You can join my revolution. It's not like I can be picky. Your monsterous habits of killing adventurers could come in handy.

3:08 AM  
Anonymous Cyrex of Bismarck said...

haha keep em comming XD

3:41 AM  
Anonymous Goblin Leecher said...

If it makes you feel better any smithy I'll charge Pathfinder 5 times the going price for a tele next time

4:08 AM  
Anonymous Goblin Leecher said...

ps. i charged him 3,000 gil for that trip to Holla

4:09 AM  
Blogger Curse said...

Call me simple but I just couldn't get enough of the whole Pathfinder finding paths thing, "Lol!"

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Goblin Alchemist said...

What? Some of you guys still teleport Pathfinder? At least dump him in Altepa or something. It's hot as hell there and not a path for miles, haha!

4:44 PM  
Blogger inky said...





9:13 PM  
Anonymous Goblin Pathfinder said...

LOL U guys R Funny :p

4:12 AM  
Blogger Squirt said...

"Yay! I can get gang raped with weapons!"

I love weapons!

Do you think I can add Goblin Pathfinder to my friend list? Sometimes I get lost and he seems really nice.

6:11 AM  
Anonymous Czarina of Alex said...

Just wondering Smithy, did the Ninja had a good luck shot or you were too busy starring at the booby she popped from her Scorpion Harness? >.>

Also, did you keep some of the Ancient beastcoins (they are quite expensive, around 150k a piece) or you got screwed by thfs too?

2:46 PM  
Blogger Thistle said...

I agree with Squirt. Goblin Pathfinder seems very cute, you should cut the poor guy some slack! (Note: Cutting someone slack involves neither a real knife nor cutting, so don't go stabbing him!)

I get lost a lot, and I'm sure someone pointing out a path would be very useful.

7:23 PM  
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2:43 PM  

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