Chocobo Soup - Attempt 2

Apparently, the horrible beating I took did not cure my flu. I guess it just seemed like it was better when compared to the massive bruises and lacerations.

Unfortunately, this left me still trying to find chocobo meat for some hot chocobo soup.

I was sitting in my house, staring at Junior II and cursing him for his small size.

He'd never be enough for a good meal.

I'd need a chocobo at least ten times his size.

...

... Or maybe ten chocobos that are his size.

Oh, what a glorious idea occurred to me. Why bother chasing those stupid, big chocobos when I could just round up a bunch of the little ones?

It was brilliant. It was genius.

Okay... It was me talking about killing a bunch of baby chicks.

You know the old saying: you can't make an omelette without mashing up a bunch of baby chocobos.

Shut up. I'm sick.

So, I asked myself where I could get a bunch of baby chicks.

That's when I remembered hearing that someone in Jeuno was just giving the things away.

The only thing better than killing a bunch of chicks to make soup is killing a bunch of FREE chicks to make soup.

And I was off to Jeuno.

This time, I went prepared. I had spent the night working on my adventurer disguise. I looked exactly like a Taru.

It was hard to get my head to look that pointy, but it worked.

I walk up the the chocobo NPC and ask for a chocobo.

NPC>> Here you go.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> What the hell is this?
NPC>> This is your chocobo.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> This is an egg.
GoblinSmithy>> This isn't done yet.
GoblinSmithy>> Take it back 'til it's born and preferably juicy.
NPC>> No, no, no.
NPC>> You have to raise it until it hatches.
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> You have to take this back.
GoblinSmithy>> And you have to give me a chocobo.
NPC>> I'm sorry, sir.
NPC>> I can't do that.
GoblinSmithy>> But I need a real chocobo.
GoblinSmithy>> Not a damned egg.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't even have a frying pan.
NPC>> A what?!
GoblinSmithy>> Nothing.
GoblinSmithy>> Nothing.
GoblinSmithy>> Just need a chocobo for riding.
GoblinSmithy>> Not eating. Just riding.
GoblinSmithy>> Did I mention I'm not going to eat it?
NPC>> Sir, I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave.
GoblinSmithy>> Have you ever laid an egg?
NPC>> Me, sir?
NPC>> Of course not.
GoblinSmithy>> You talk to me like that again..
GoblinSmithy>> And you'll experience it.
GoblinSmithy>> In reverse.
NPC>> ...
NPC>> So how many chicks did you need?
GoblinSmithy>> Enough to fill this new carrier.
NPC>> ...
NPC>> Sir...
NPC>> That's a pot.
GoblinSmithy>> Yes it is.
GoblinSmithy>> An empty pot.
GoblinSmithy>> What could we do about that?
NPC>> Sigh.
GoblinSmithy>> Look on the bright side.
GoblinSmithy>> At least you didn't get stabbed.
NPC>> That's true, I guess.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> Almost forgot.

*STAB*

I'd like to tell you that I didn't eat those baby chicks.

But that would be lying.

And lying is just plain wrong.