Chocobo Soup
On the advice of a reader, I decided chocobo soup might help me through my illness.
My only problem was finding some fresh chocobo meat.
Unfortunately, Junior had "gone bad" quite some time ago.
And I loved Junior II too much to kill him.
Okay... He's still really small. I needed a meal sized chocobo.
So, I headed over to San d'Oria to try and find one.
At first, I tried waiting outside the gate. I figured I could grab one as they were heading out.
Not so much. Those bastards are quick.
With no other option, I snuck into the city. I went into full on Metal Goblin Smithy mode to avoid detection.
I was but a shadow, hidden from their eyes.
I was but a whisper in the wind.
GateGuard>> You there. Goblin.
GateGuard>> Where do you think you're going?
I was busted.
Crap.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm not a goblin.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm...
Think fast.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm a Taru.
...
That's it?
You expect them to believe that?
GateGuard>> Oh...
GateGuard>> Carry on then.
...
Adventurers are as dumb as a bag of hammers.
Now, just to find the chocobo stables.
GateGuard>> Wait!
GateGuard>> Hold on a second.
Crap.
GoblinSmithy>> What is it?
GateGuard>> Why are you wearing a mask?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm really, really ugly.
GateGuard>> How ugly?
GoblinSmithy>> My Dad was a Galka.
GateGuard>> Dear Altana...
GateGuard>> I'm sorry.
GoblinSmithy>> I get that lot.
GateGuard>> Sorry I bothered you.
GateGuard>> You can go now.
Okay. I'm good.
Now, the chocobo stables are...
GateGuard>> Hold on a second.
What now?
GateGuard>> I didn't think that Galkas could mate with Tarus.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... Yeah, totally.
GoblinSmithy>> They do it all the time.
GateGuard>> Really?
GoblinSmithy>> Yup.
GoblinSmithy>> Usually works very well.
GateGuard>> Usually?
GoblinSmithy>> Well...
GoblinSmithy>> Sometimes the Taru explodes.
GateGuard>> ...
GateGuard>> That's disgusting.
GoblinSmithy>> You think that's disgusting?
GoblinSmithy>> What about the poor Galka?
GoblinSmithy>> Do you know how hard it is to clean Taru bits off your wang?
GateGuard>> I think I'm going to throw up.
GoblinSmithy>> I went to a Taru-Galka orgy once.
GoblinSmithy>> It looked like New Years.
GoblinSmithy>> Pop! Pop pop pop!
GateGuard>> Please stop talking now.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure?
GoblinSmithy>> I'd love to stay and chat.
GateGuard>> No, really.
GateGuard>> Go.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay.
GoblinSmithy>> See you later.
Haha. I made it.
I was home free.
GoblinPathfinder>> Hey! Smitty!
GoblinPathfinder>> What are you doing in there?
Maybe they didn't hear him.
As long as I didn't panic, everything would be cool.
GateGuard>> Did you say Smithy?
GateGuard>> As in GoblinSmithy?
GoblinPathfinder>> Of course I did.
GoblinPathfinder>> That's him right there.
...
Do you know what cures the flu? Getting beaten to death.
If you'll excuse me, I have to go find Pathfinder and cure him of the flu.
Maybe two or three times.
My only problem was finding some fresh chocobo meat.
Unfortunately, Junior had "gone bad" quite some time ago.
And I loved Junior II too much to kill him.
Okay... He's still really small. I needed a meal sized chocobo.
So, I headed over to San d'Oria to try and find one.
At first, I tried waiting outside the gate. I figured I could grab one as they were heading out.
Not so much. Those bastards are quick.
With no other option, I snuck into the city. I went into full on Metal Goblin Smithy mode to avoid detection.
I was but a shadow, hidden from their eyes.
I was but a whisper in the wind.
GateGuard>> You there. Goblin.
GateGuard>> Where do you think you're going?
I was busted.
Crap.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm not a goblin.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm...
Think fast.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm a Taru.
...
That's it?
You expect them to believe that?
GateGuard>> Oh...
GateGuard>> Carry on then.
...
Adventurers are as dumb as a bag of hammers.
Now, just to find the chocobo stables.
GateGuard>> Wait!
GateGuard>> Hold on a second.
Crap.
GoblinSmithy>> What is it?
GateGuard>> Why are you wearing a mask?
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I'm really, really ugly.
GateGuard>> How ugly?
GoblinSmithy>> My Dad was a Galka.
GateGuard>> Dear Altana...
GateGuard>> I'm sorry.
GoblinSmithy>> I get that lot.
GateGuard>> Sorry I bothered you.
GateGuard>> You can go now.
Okay. I'm good.
Now, the chocobo stables are...
GateGuard>> Hold on a second.
What now?
GateGuard>> I didn't think that Galkas could mate with Tarus.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh... Yeah, totally.
GoblinSmithy>> They do it all the time.
GateGuard>> Really?
GoblinSmithy>> Yup.
GoblinSmithy>> Usually works very well.
GateGuard>> Usually?
GoblinSmithy>> Well...
GoblinSmithy>> Sometimes the Taru explodes.
GateGuard>> ...
GateGuard>> That's disgusting.
GoblinSmithy>> You think that's disgusting?
GoblinSmithy>> What about the poor Galka?
GoblinSmithy>> Do you know how hard it is to clean Taru bits off your wang?
GateGuard>> I think I'm going to throw up.
GoblinSmithy>> I went to a Taru-Galka orgy once.
GoblinSmithy>> It looked like New Years.
GoblinSmithy>> Pop! Pop pop pop!
GateGuard>> Please stop talking now.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you sure?
GoblinSmithy>> I'd love to stay and chat.
GateGuard>> No, really.
GateGuard>> Go.
GoblinSmithy>> Okay.
GoblinSmithy>> See you later.
Haha. I made it.
I was home free.
GoblinPathfinder>> Hey! Smitty!
GoblinPathfinder>> What are you doing in there?
Maybe they didn't hear him.
As long as I didn't panic, everything would be cool.
GateGuard>> Did you say Smithy?
GateGuard>> As in GoblinSmithy?
GoblinPathfinder>> Of course I did.
GoblinPathfinder>> That's him right there.
...
Do you know what cures the flu? Getting beaten to death.
If you'll excuse me, I have to go find Pathfinder and cure him of the flu.
Maybe two or three times.
posted by Goblin Smithy at 1:06 AM
12 Comments:
And Stay out.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm not a goblin.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm...
Think fast.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm a Taru.
Lmao!
//Akkarin
Funny as hell! ^^
Take your time, Smitty, and have some high quality post like this! :p
Love ya.
please don't end your posts with a line beginning "please excuse me..."
its getting old now
"On the advice of a reader, I decided chocobo soup might help me through my illness."
Woot! I resemble that remark! I am honored that you considered my suggestion, Mr Smithy. I'm just sorry it cost you your life... again.
yo i aint no galka but when i be dickin dem tarus itz da same thing hooolllaa!!
Next time, don't bother with those weakling city chocobos. Go after some of the meaty ones by the teleport crystals.
On a different point, could someone pleast put token out of our misery and remove his head from his shoulders?
smithy, u really should have just told him u could have simply told him u were a MERCHANT goblin i mean come on, theres that one that just hides there in north sandy...he's up to something i know it...
Dealerman, you speak right to my heart. Let us get together and kill that foul troll.
i aint no diggity damn troll yo! i iz tryin to be showin smiff dog sum luv in dis blog cuz he be writin funny azz stories for peepz to reed yo! what i dont be understandin iz why u gotsta be hatin on me all da time G! juz cuz yo momma cant get offa da TBG-kabob dont mean u gotsta hate holla!
Mm. Yes.
GoblinSmithy>> Sometimes the Taru explodes.
GateGuard>> ...
GateGuard>> That's disgusting.
GoblinSmithy>> You think that's disgusting?
GoblinSmithy>> What about the poor Galka?
GoblinSmithy>> Do you know how hard it is to clean Taru bits off your wang?
XD!!!!!!!!!
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