Sunday, May 07, 2006

When It Rains, It Pours

So, I was leaving the site of my latest defeat (ironically, following the path that those idiots pointed out), when something all too familiar happened.

I got lost.

I really need to start subbing Black Mage for warp.

Or start using Yahoo maps or something.

Nothing good ever comes from me getting lost.

Luckily, today was not an exception.

As I wandered aimlessly through the new areas, I heard a slight crunch beneath my foot.

Damn Tarus.

But... no. That wasn't a taru. It couldn't have been. Tarus go "Ouchie-wouchie" or some other retarded crap.

It's like stepping on Ned Flanders.

Retarded little special ed kids. That's the Tarus.

I lift my boot to see exactly what (or who) I had just crushed when this little red bug... thing flew out from underneath.

Crazy snake bitches and bug infestations. Nice.

Note to self: uninstall expansion pack.

Things were already annoying enough, but then things took a weird turn.

Chigoe>> What the hell, man?!
Chigoe>> Watch your damned feet.
GoblinSmithy>> You talk?
Chigoe>> Aren't you observant.
Chigoe>> Just FYI. Water's wet.
GoblinSmithy>> Sorry.
GoblinSmithy>> I wasn't expecting you to talk.
Chigoe>> I wasn't expecting to get stepped on.
Chigoe>> Seems we're both having a bad day.
GoblinSmithy>> But you're a bug.
Chigoe>> What did you call me?
GoblinSmithy>> I called you a bug.
GoblinSmithy>> Why?
Chigoe>> You're a racist.
GoblinSmithy>> WHAT?!
Chigoe>> You can't use the word bug.
Chigoe>> That's our word.
GoblinSmithy>> But you're a bug.
GoblinSmithy>> It's what you are.
Chigoe>> I'm an insect, you son of a bitch.
GoblinSmithy>> Whatever, bug.
GoblinSmithy>> I've got to be going.
Chigoe>> You're not leaving til I get an apology.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm sorry.
Chigoe>> That's better.
GoblinSmithy>> Sorry I didn't step harder.
Chigoe>> Ohhhhhhh, you're gonna pay for that.

At this point, I was starting to get annoyed.

It's not my fault that you can't even see those little bastards. He should have been more careful.

GoblinSmithy>> Go find a roach motel, would you?
GoblinSmithy>> Us regular size mobs have to go to work.
Chigoe>> Listen... big, tall, and ugly.
Chigoe>> You don't leave unless you apologize.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm real scared.
GoblinSmithy>> OH NOEZ! Please don't bite my ankles.
Chigoe>> Shut up, you idiot.
GoblinSmithy>> Stand up when you say that.
Chigoe>> I'm going to give you one last chance.
Chigoe>> And then it's on.

Let's weigh my options.

Easy way: simply say sorry and let him have his way. Very little cost, don't actually have to mean it, and does not involve any sort of pain.

I must say that no pain part is looking mighty tempting.

Hard way: refuse to apologize. Unknown cost, may involve pain.

I do so love a mystery though.

Plus, I'm pretty certain I've never actually taken the easy way.

Why break a streak now?

GoblinSmithy>> Why would I be frightened?
GoblinSmithy>> Your greatest fear is a windshield.
Chigoe>> I warned you.

*low rumbling sound*

DAMMITDAMMITDAMMIT!

Why does it always have to be that sound? Why can't anyone ever do their own fighting?

I specifically pick on smaller people just so I have the unfair advantage.

Bringing in extra people give them the advantage.

Do you see why that's not cool for me?

GoblinSmithy>> What's that noise?
Chigoe>> That's a small lesson in social etiquette.

I really wouldn't call 10,000 Chigoe swarming me a "small lesson".

I would call it tremendous pain, though.

And death. I would so call it death.

Chigoe>> Who's the bug now, bitch?

I hate Chigoe.

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"It's like stepping on Ned Flanders."

I sure did have a nice, long, LOL at that!

12:55 AM  
Blogger Laucion said...

Wow...just wow.

1:55 AM  
Blogger Hutea said...

Smithy, hun.. I just saw you stab a taru summoner in the face so hard it made him blind.

that counts for something, doesn't it?

3:12 AM  
Anonymous Monty said...

Smithy, one day you'll have revenge. Just have a horde of goblins waiting just out of sight for someone. Wait until they cross you, then make them your bitch. If people can do it to you, you can do it to them.

3:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

XD I love you, Smithy!

4:23 AM  
Blogger Reeree said...

Think of it as a D2 you have to pay for with XP.

I'd wash that subligar - wouldn't want to have brought any of them home.

5:42 AM  
Blogger Aylee said...

Chiggos are small, annoying and bloodsucking creatures that appear out of nowhere, enmasse, and cause all sorts of problems. Additionally, they have low health yet a high level of preservance.. no matter how much blood they take from you, they always want more.

These creatures are most commonly found in the expansion, however another subset of this species - that which stands on two legs and wears armor - can be found wherever newbies gather.

7:24 AM  
Blogger Bellemithra said...

OMG Poor Smithy!!!!! Next time bring Raid!

8:44 AM  
Blogger Aeriel said...

Chigoe>> You're a racist.
GoblinSmithy>> WHAT?!
Chigoe>> You can't use the word bug.
Chigoe>> That's our word.
GoblinSmithy>> But you're a bug.
GoblinSmithy>> It's what you are.
Chigoe>> I'm an insect, you son of a bitch.

LMAO OMFG
you legend!

9:05 AM  
Blogger Artos said...

Insult to injury:

I levelled off of you Smithies yesterday. Good EXP. There wasn't much stabbing to be had, though.

11:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"But... no. That wasn't a taru. It couldn't have been. Tarus go "Ouchie-wouchie" or some other retarded crap.

It's like stepping on Ned Flanders."

loved it. <3 you, Smithy

1:41 PM  
Blogger Aretha said...

GoblinSmithy>> WHAT?!
Chigoe>> You can't use the word bug.
Chigoe>> That's our word.

ehehehehhe *giggle*

i got owned by those little bitches ;_; i wanted to tell you cus i know you hate adventurer, and i was dead, so a dead adventurer must be a good news to you ^.^ and i love you and i want you to be happy <3!
...
but.. you hate to be happy so.. >_<;;
;_;
you're too complicated T_T i'll just keep on loving you by far *hugs*

2:14 PM  
Anonymous Mozes said...

>_>; i solo those evil lil fleas on crack, gather like 3 together then just toss out a thundagaIII. i know you know the pain of a thundaga now imagin that pain going through a bug 1/10th your size. those lil bugs suffer, and from this day on they shall suffer in the name of smithy

2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(Koru-Moru)

"It's like stepping on Ned Flanders."

I don't diddly-understand. Who is thid-diddly 'Ned Flanders'?

3:31 PM  
Blogger Myloko said...

Poor smithy, I feel your pain. Those buggers ganged up on me the other day while I was just walkin' around. I thought they were part of the background or something...AND THEN THEY JUMPED ME ;_; Smithy, I think it's time for some good old fashion revenge ;)

11:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been looking for sites like this for a long time. Thank you! online tenuate dream pharmaceuticals gaming software for children Pics of downtown pontiac michigan modern book shelves does work tenuate cheap tenuate is my circuit breaker bad modern contemporary wedding invitations zyban for weight loss mitsubishi big screen tv repiar manuals vs 582r Interior designs of 1950's Windows nt dedicated asp web hosting Hot tub classified texas Party time slots Acura tsx tsx

2:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been looking for sites like this for a long time. Thank you! suzuki swift insurance Sport talk radio in kansas city missouri 2002 ford explorer brake pictures Patient assistence lamictal India website design discount nonprescription viagra Fragrance soap malpractice attorney washington dc fun on the run paintball absolutly completly free domain names mazda mx6 gearbox Cosmetic surgeon ann arbor mi Picture totes Leopard print swimsuits first black heavyweight champion jack johnson acura nsx dash aluminum mazda dealer Cazal eyeglasses

5:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! 1970 corvette tire manufacturer Audi a4 multitronic noisy problem authentic pilates pipes tobacco battery operated Fitness for women magazine Www allegra d

4:21 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home