Friday, May 05, 2006

Smithy's Lamia Date, Part 2

Alternate Title: "Winners never quit, and quitters never get laid."

As I'm sure we've established, I am not a fast learner.

By any means.

But could I really subject myself to more punishment just for the odd chance that I might actually get some?

Of course I could.

I mean, duh.

So, once I had managed to drag my bloody body back up that cliff, I decided to give it another shot with the Lamia.

I've been burnt alive in Dynamis. It's going to take a little more than a cliff to stop me.

At first, I couldn't find her. For giant snake-ladies, these babes seems very good at hiding.

Since I couldn't find her, I decided to ask a Fomor for help.

GoblinSmithy>> Hey, man.
GoblinSmithy>> Wait... are you a man?
Fomor>> What do you mean?
GoblinSmithy>> Well... you're all ugly and shadowy...
GoblinSmithy>> And evil looking.
Fomor>> And?
GoblinSmithy>> I wasn't sure if "man" was a good description.
Fomor>> Like you're good looking or something.
GoblinSmithy>> Compared to you, anyone would look good.
Fomor>> Not you, small, short, and ugly.
GoblinSmithy>> At least I don't look like a iPod commercial.
Fomor>> Shouldn't you be leaving?
GoblinSmithy>> Shouldn't you be dancing?

He stomped off sulking after that. At least, I think he was sulking.

Hard to tell with that face.

On an unrelated note, I wonder why I have trouble making friends.

I was about to give up my search in frustration, when I see my girl.

And the guy she's with.

That couldn't be...

GoblinPathfinder>> Heya, Smitty.


GoblinSmithy>> What the hell are you doing here?
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm having lunch with my new girl.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty, this is Lamia.
Lamia>> Yeah.
Lamia>> We met.
GoblinPathfinder>> Really? How?
GoblinSmithy>> Well...
GoblinSmithy>> I politely asked her for directions.
Lamia>> To my pants.
GoblinSmithy>> And then she threw me off a cliff.
Lamia>> Technically, you threw yourself off the cliff.
GoblinPathfinder>> Why did you throw yourself off a cliff?
GoblinSmithy>> Stop saying cliff. No more cliff.
GoblinSmithy>> Say it again and someone dies.
Lamia>> Can I choose who?
GoblinSmithy>> Shut the hell up.
GoblinPathfinder>> Don't talk to her like that.
GoblinSmithy>> Or what?
Lamia>> I'm going to have to hurt you.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh yeah?
GoblinSmithy>> You and what army?

*Low rumbling sound*

Oh damn.

Lamia>> That one.

Right at that moment, a horde (as in a large group of people, sorry Warcraft fans) of skeleton warriors appeared from around the corner.

It was like being attacked by 1,000 Calista Flockhearts.

All she did was point at me and they descended like vultures. Like skinny, ugly, nasty vultures.

With swords.

Did I mention the swords?

And what do I hear as they pummel me to death?

GoblinPathfinder>> Looks like they had a bone to pick with him.

Could it get any worse?

Lamia>> Look, honey!
Lamia>> A path!

I hate Lamias.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Almost forgot, there won't be an update tomorrow because I have to attend a memorial service for my ex-wife.

Note to self: remember to kill ex-wife tonight.


Blogger Bellemithra said...

Ohhh Poor Smithy!!!!!! [hugs]

Keep trying. We're all rooting for you!

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lamia>> Look, honey!
Lamia>> A path!


2:27 PM  
Blogger Laucion said...

Eventually you'll get to stab that Lamia.

PS If you want me to kill Pathfinder for you I will^^.

2:54 PM  
Blogger Reeree said...

When's the memorial service for the rock chucker?

2:56 PM  
Blogger Sphene the Paladin said...

^_^ smithy do you remember me sweetie? I went out into Yuhtunga Jungle yesterday as a level 6 whm ran allll the way to where you were working to get stabbed ^^ the only problem is... my computer died ; ; I lost the picture.. will you be back in Yuhtunga again soon so that I can get another picture of you and I ?
Call me~

5:40 PM  
Anonymous Pteryx said...

Haha~! Brilliant one today. :)

Her's hoping the wake is pleasant. -- Pteryx

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Kinikki said...

Hmmm... Maybe you should try the Lamia in the reef, there are more of them =3 XD good luck with that!

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Reinbach said...

You know what they say about women and trolleycars, Smithy. There are plenty of them in the sea. Or something like that. Hell, I don't know.

Pathfinder's got quite a scam running with that bee. Women love pet owners. Have you ever walked a dog and had it walk right up to a girl and work its magic? Chances are she'll fuss over how cute the dog is, and then you're in. It's even better if she has a pet, too. Then you can arrange doggy play dates or whatever, and work your way up until she's the one begging for your milk bone. I'm willing to bet that's how it started between Pathfinder and that Lamia. Maybe she thinks of those undead as her pets. I hate to say it, but maybe you should steal a page from Pathfinder's book.

11:18 PM  
Anonymous Monty said...

Smithy, You really don't need Pathfinder's seconds. Plus with Lamia there's really only one of two things that can happen.

1. You stab her, and sleep with her, and there's really no need to ever call her again.

2. You stab her, and she won't sleep with you, and there's really no need to ever call her again.

11:41 PM  
Blogger Lishje said...

Just for you man.. just for you.

11:43 PM  
Blogger Thistle said...

Yay for Pathfinder! He deserves a girl, too. And a path!

2:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you could always go for Tiamat, shes a girl.

12:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you could always go for Tiamat, shes a girl.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Parcifal said...

The 2 Lamia dates posts made me laugh so hard.
This is gold.


2:57 PM  
Anonymous Cyrex of Bismarck said...

" Anonymous said...

you could always go for Tiamat, shes a girl. "

So is Vrtra >.>

8:10 PM  
Blogger lesa said...

rofl that was so funny

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Zorafin said...

So, does this mean no more Mrs. Smithy?

1:26 AM  
Blogger Blaize said...

lol...bone to pick...

Since when was Pathfinder so OFF THE CHAIN?!!! ROLFAMO

On a serious note, that was funny as hell.

8:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! »

7:37 AM  

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