Thursday, May 18, 2006

Stupid. Not Helpful.

I have to admit, I was actually grateful to Pathfinder for a minute or two.

I mean, when he mowed down that field of tards, he really saved my ass. Saved my ass from puncturing to be specific.

And I do so hate having my ass punctured.

I was just about to thank him, when he stumbled, half-drunk, out of the SUV and collapsed on the ground.

GoblinPathfinder>> Iyy yalmosht had joo.
GoblinSmithy>> Me?
GoblinSmithy>> You were trying to hit me?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeaaw.
GoblinPathfinder>> I thing sooo.
GoblinSmithy>> Well...
GoblinSmithy>> Thanks, anyway.
GoblinPathfinder>> Dun thank mee.
GoblinPathfinder>> Iyam yur archnesemis.
GoblinPathfinder>> Archnememis.
GoblinPathfinder>> Archsemenis.
GoblinPathfinder>> Weer not freends.
GoblinSmithy>> Damn, man.
GoblinSmithy>> You sound like an AOLer.
GoblinPathfinder>> Yu tack dat back.
GoblinSmithy>> Or what?
GoblinSmithy>> You'll run down another alliance?
GoblinPathfinder>> Dat wus an alliansh?
GoblinSmithy>> Was being the operative word.
GoblinSmithy>> Now, they look like an expressionist painting.
GoblinPathfinder>> Wassan essipreshinist?
GoblinSmithy>> They is all mashed up right good.
GoblinPathfinder>> Ooh.
GoblinPathfinder>> Long ash sumbuddy got hurt.
GoblinSmithy>> You really are retarded, aren't you?
GoblinPathfinder>> Why do peeple keep askin me dat?

Out of pity, I took Pathfinder back to his house and poured coffee down his throat until he sobered up.

He screamed for the first few minutes, but then the burning swelled his throat shut.

He was mercifully quiet after that.

That was a good thing. Half way to his house he started singing Billy Talent songs and I almost had to murder him.

Eventually, he managed to regain control of his... limited faculties and started talking sensibly.

Well... as sensibly as Pathfinder ever could.

GoblinPathfinder>> Oh my head hurts.
GoblinSmithy>> What did you drink?
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm not sure.
GoblinPathfinder>> I think it was blue.

GoblinSmithy>> Why were you drinking anyway?
GoblinPathfinder>> My new best friend suggested it.
GoblinSmithy>> New best friend?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah. He's cool.
GoblinPathfinder>> Nice little guy I met near a swamp.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Did you say a swamp?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah.
GoblinPathfinder>> Little guy kept asking to warp me.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh damn.
GoblinPathfinder>> Then we decided to get a drink.
GoblinSmithy>> So you went to an Inn.
GoblinSmithy>> Or a tavern.
GoblinPathfinder>> No.
GoblinPathfinder>> We came here.
GoblinSmithy>> I hate you.
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't care.
GoblinPathfinder>> My new buddy went to get some of his friends.
GoblinSmithy>> FriendS?

*knockknockknock*

GoblinSmithy>> Don't open that door.
GoblinPathfinder>> That would be rude.
GoblinPathfinder>> WHO'S THERE?
AngryMob>> Angry Mob.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm sorry.
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't know an Angry Mob.
AngryMob>> ...
AngryMob>> Flower delivery.
GoblinPathfinder>> Oooo FLOWERS!
GoblinSmithy>> You're so damned retarded.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're just jealous.
GoblinSmithy>> I hope they kill you first.

I don't remember much after that. Pathfinder opened a door, I saw angry faces, and then things went black.

Actually... they went firey and stabby.

And then they went black.

I preferred the black to be honest.

Damn, I hate angry mobs.

11 Comments:

Blogger Myloko said...

Poor Smithy! Now you know the wrath of taru /comfort

11:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Im in love with Pathfinder, I just love the way he gets you killed each time <3

12:33 AM  
Blogger Hutea said...

GoblinSmithy>> You sound like an AOLer.
GoblinPathfinder>> Yu tack dat back.


Damn.

/laugh

3:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

GoblinPathfinder>> WHO'S THERE?
AngryMob>> Angry Mob.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm sorry.
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't know an Angry Mob.
AngryMob>> ...
AngryMob>> Flower delivery.
GoblinPathfinder>> Oooo FLOWERS!


<3

3:31 AM  
Anonymous Mithra red mage said...

That wasn't veyr nice to beta you up in a house but getting hit by the SUV was piraceless. Here smithy i found this at teh crash site you need them. *hands smithy some leaping boots*

4:15 AM  
Blogger Jeine said...

I thought I would do a Tarut reading for you, to give you some advice about how to improve your relationship with Pathfinder.

Every card came up "Death."

I'm not sure what to make of that, because I can't quite understand how that's even possible. It kinda wigs me out.

You would do well to avoid this Pathfinder.

He's a bee sympathizer.

5:00 AM  
Blogger Aeriel said...

"Damn, I hate angry mobs."

LMAO i bet you do, but i'm sure you would like to be the lynchpin of the mob... You know the guy who takes a bunch of no-brain moronic over emo asshats and says, "I think we should be angry and riotous about this today!" Followed by the mandatory /point and /rage and /angryfistshaking!

Being the only manipulative evil goblin bastard inthe middle of it all would be agreeable i'm sure :)

::imagines Smithy's dream about that::

::suffers pain and agonising death::

Ahh i see an angry mob that slaughters all adventurers whith face stabbing.. sorry did i describe heaven... oh dear my bad :)

5:21 AM  
Blogger WindexHamster said...

Reading this while drunk almost caused me to spit across my monitor.

This is unquestionably THE best Goblin Smithy blog entry in months. XD

"Taodyn" > me > everyone.

6:07 AM  
Blogger WindexHamster said...

As an afterthought, HUGE props for these lines in particular:

"GoblinPathfinder>> Dun thank mee.
GoblinPathfinder>> Iyam yur archnesemis.
GoblinPathfinder>> Archnememis.
GoblinPathfinder>> Archsemenis.
GoblinPathfinder>> Weer not freends."

Beautiful.

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Kinikki said...

Omg.. LMAO.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! Weight loss body image topamax cost Methods to stop smoking Business download affiliate marketing software Maternity clothes lot gap babystyle michael stars xs Top dentists in venice il Lesbianas bellacas Infant and toddler liquid multi vitamin Yate town football club

7:01 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home