Stupid. Not Helpful.

I have to admit, I was actually grateful to Pathfinder for a minute or two.

I mean, when he mowed down that field of tards, he really saved my ass. Saved my ass from puncturing to be specific.

And I do so hate having my ass punctured.

I was just about to thank him, when he stumbled, half-drunk, out of the SUV and collapsed on the ground.

GoblinPathfinder>> Iyy yalmosht had joo.
GoblinSmithy>> Me?
GoblinSmithy>> You were trying to hit me?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeaaw.
GoblinPathfinder>> I thing sooo.
GoblinSmithy>> Well...
GoblinSmithy>> Thanks, anyway.
GoblinPathfinder>> Dun thank mee.
GoblinPathfinder>> Iyam yur archnesemis.
GoblinPathfinder>> Archnememis.
GoblinPathfinder>> Archsemenis.
GoblinPathfinder>> Weer not freends.
GoblinSmithy>> Damn, man.
GoblinSmithy>> You sound like an AOLer.
GoblinPathfinder>> Yu tack dat back.
GoblinSmithy>> Or what?
GoblinSmithy>> You'll run down another alliance?
GoblinPathfinder>> Dat wus an alliansh?
GoblinSmithy>> Was being the operative word.
GoblinSmithy>> Now, they look like an expressionist painting.
GoblinPathfinder>> Wassan essipreshinist?
GoblinSmithy>> They is all mashed up right good.
GoblinPathfinder>> Ooh.
GoblinPathfinder>> Long ash sumbuddy got hurt.
GoblinSmithy>> You really are retarded, aren't you?
GoblinPathfinder>> Why do peeple keep askin me dat?

Out of pity, I took Pathfinder back to his house and poured coffee down his throat until he sobered up.

He screamed for the first few minutes, but then the burning swelled his throat shut.

He was mercifully quiet after that.

That was a good thing. Half way to his house he started singing Billy Talent songs and I almost had to murder him.

Eventually, he managed to regain control of his... limited faculties and started talking sensibly.

Well... as sensibly as Pathfinder ever could.

GoblinPathfinder>> Oh my head hurts.
GoblinSmithy>> What did you drink?
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm not sure.
GoblinPathfinder>> I think it was blue.
GoblinSmithy>> Why were you drinking anyway?
GoblinPathfinder>> My new best friend suggested it.
GoblinSmithy>> New best friend?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah. He's cool.
GoblinPathfinder>> Nice little guy I met near a swamp.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> Did you say a swamp?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah.
GoblinPathfinder>> Little guy kept asking to warp me.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh damn.
GoblinPathfinder>> Then we decided to get a drink.
GoblinSmithy>> So you went to an Inn.
GoblinSmithy>> Or a tavern.
GoblinPathfinder>> No.
GoblinPathfinder>> We came here.
GoblinSmithy>> I hate you.
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't care.
GoblinPathfinder>> My new buddy went to get some of his friends.
GoblinSmithy>> FriendS?

*knockknockknock*

GoblinSmithy>> Don't open that door.
GoblinPathfinder>> That would be rude.
GoblinPathfinder>> WHO'S THERE?
AngryMob>> Angry Mob.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm sorry.
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't know an Angry Mob.
AngryMob>> ...
AngryMob>> Flower delivery.
GoblinPathfinder>> Oooo FLOWERS!
GoblinSmithy>> You're so damned retarded.
GoblinPathfinder>> You're just jealous.
GoblinSmithy>> I hope they kill you first.

I don't remember much after that. Pathfinder opened a door, I saw angry faces, and then things went black.

Actually... they went firey and stabby.

And then they went black.

I preferred the black to be honest.

Damn, I hate angry mobs.