Friday, May 12, 2006

Living in Fear

Do you understand how much it hurts to get hit by an SUV?

If your answer is no, IT HURTS FREAKIN' LOT!

If your answer is yes, stop complaining, you whiny bitch, because I just GOT HIT BY AN SUV!

Of course, I could not stand for this.

Actually, I couldn't stand at all for several hours.

I'd probably be dead if I hadn't fallen on that party of Tarus.

On a side note: do you know how hard it is to get crushed Taru off your clothes?

Now, part of me wanted to hide. Lord Promathia only knows where Pathfinder could be and what sort of vehicular violence he's cooking up.

But, I couldn't live in fear. I couldn't let myself be driven into hiding by any threat.

Besides, it's Pathfinder. He probably got distracted by a shiny object or something.

So rather than wallow in my own fear, I spent most of this morning healing up and thinking of ways to take my revenge on Pathfinder.

First off, I'm going to put sugar in the gas tank of his precious car.

And by sugar, I mean a bomb.

Then, I'm going to make a hat out of that damned bee.

But before I can do any of that, I need to find that little bastard.

Where could he be hiding? I have to think like Pathfinder.

I wonder how much a lobotomy would cost...

Suddenly, I realized where he was.

*BOOM*

GoblinSmithy>> Heya, Pathfinder.
GoblinPathfinder>> Smitty.
GoblinPathfinder>> What was that noise?
GoblinSmithy>> Remember your car?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yeah.
GoblinSmithy>> I hope you have insurance.
GoblinSmithy>> On a side note, do you like my new hat?
GoblinPathfinder>> How'd you find me?
GoblinSmithy>> This is your house, you retard.
GoblinPathfinder>> You saw through my ruse.
GoblinSmithy>> What ruse?
GoblinSmithy>> You're in your own house.
GoblinPathfinder>> Hiding in plain sight, you fool.
GoblinSmithy>> That only works if you're intelligent.
GoblinSmithy>> You hung a sign that said "I'm not home."
GoblinPathfinder>> Smart, huh?
GoblinPathfinder>> And yet, you saw through it.
GoblinSmithy>> You wrote "wink, wink" at the bottom.
GoblinPathfinder>> What's your point?
GoblinSmithy>> Well, Mr. Bond...
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't like baseball.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> How do you remember to breathe?
GoblinPathfinder>> I see spots when I forget.
GoblinPathfinder>> And sometimes I get sleepy.
GoblinSmithy>> You're retarded.
GoblinPathfinder>> I may be retarded...
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> And?
GoblinPathfinder>> Sshhh. I'm thinking.
GoblinSmithy>> Don't hurt yourself.
GoblinSmithy>> That's my job.
GoblinPathfinder>> But I outsmarted you.
GoblinSmithy>> How exactly did you "outsmart" me?
GoblinPathfinder>> I hit you with my car.
GoblinSmithy>> Wow.
GoblinSmithy>> Your INT must be like -7 or something.
GoblinPathfinder>> Your just upset that your rival beat you.
GoblinSmithy>> My rival?
GoblinSmithy>> You're not my rival.
GoblinSmithy>> You're like my retarded third cousin.
GoblinPathfinder>> Just wait.
GoblinPathfinder>> You'll never see it coming.
GoblinPathfinder>> And then I shall have my revenge.
GoblinSmithy>> I've got a better idea.
GoblinPathfinder>> Really?
GoblinPathfinder>> What?

*FACESTAB*

I must say as an archnemesis, Pathfinder was terrible.

As a knife holder, he does a good job.

11 Comments:

Blogger Jirizo Reborn said...

"GoblinSmithy>> Wow.
GoblinSmithy>> Your INT must be like -7 or something.

GoblinSmithy>> You hung a sign that said "I'm not home."
GoblinPathfinder>> Smart, huh?
GoblinPathfinder>> And yet, you saw through it.
GoblinSmithy>> You wrote "wink, wink" at the bottom.
GoblinPathfinder>> What's your point?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Im still laughing!
ROFL!

And when you said "house" didnt you mean mog house? It is FFXI by the way.

1:11 AM  
Anonymous GenericFanboy43!!!lawlz!!!one!11 said...

*Insert text from blog here*

So funny! You're a god!

3:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe gobs dont have mog housesO.o

3:04 AM  
Blogger kitty monk said...

"maybe gobs dont have mog housesO.o"

Gob Houses.

Duh.

3:27 AM  
Blogger Dramanue of Fenrir said...

When you found that pack of Tarus... are you sure it wasn't a pack of Ford Taurus's?

..

I'm going to get a stab in the face aren't I? Please, watch the hair, I just got it done.

Oh and btw, I did get hit by an SUV in real life and I will attest for Smitty that it does indeed hurt. Especially when your manager at work demotes you because you can't do your job (I work at a call center and I walk around helping agents when they have problems with their customers... err, I walked around)... >_>

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although not as funny as the other posts, this is the first time Smithy actually has won. so 2 thumbs up! =^_^=

12:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The question is, will Pathfinder go see Pathfinder when it comes out in his Pathfinder? >.>

Assuming this joke asn't been made yet <.<

2:12 PM  
Anonymous Evilduck said...

Nice one Smithy!
I'll head out later and Chill with ya in the Jungle - Just don't Groin stab me this time.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Aeriel said...

O.O nice facestab smithy, shame he wasn't in the exploding car, then you could have facestabbed him as he fled the blaze all burning and crispy... (mmmmm crispy pathfinder.... mmmm bee sidesalad!)

but.
"Actually, I couldn't stand at all for several hours.

I'd probably be dead if I hadn't fallen on that party of Tarus.

On a side note: do you know how hard it is to get crushed Taru off your clothes?"

LMAO, i kinda do with that one, i heard from a galka friend of mine that you need concetrated acids of some sort, very messy :)

5:34 AM  
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