Thursday, May 11, 2006

Just What I Needed...

When I woke up this morning, I was in a great mood.

Birds were singing, the sun was shining. It was beautiful.

Nothing like killing Pathfinder to make the day seem better.

I decided I was going to make the most out of the day and head out to the jungle to soak up some sun while stabbing some n00bs in the spine.

Just as I zoned into the Yhoator though, Shaman came up to me. Right away, I could tell something was wrong.

Can't even let me have one good day, can you?

Sigh.

GoblinSmithy>> Heya, Shaman.
GoblinSmithy>> What's up?
GoblinShaman>> What happened yesterday?
GoblinSmithy>> Lots of stuff, I guess.
GoblinShaman>> I mean with you and Pathfinder?

Truth or lie?

Hmm...

Honesty is always the best policy.

GoblinSmithy>> I have no idea what you're talking about.
GoblinShaman>> Are you sure?
GoblinSmithy>> Would I lie?

Yes.

GoblinShaman>> Yes.
GoblinSmithy>> That hurts, Shaman.
GoblinSmithy>> That hurts on the inside.
GoblinSmithy>> Where the bruises don't heal.
GoblinShaman>> I'm sorry, man.
GoblinShaman>> I believe you.

For a guy with that much intelligence, he's really stupid.

GoblinSmithy>> It's cool.
GoblinSmithy>> I forgive you.
GoblinShaman>> Want a hug?
GoblinSmithy>> Don't be retarded.
GoblinSmithy>> What's going on?
GoblinShaman>> I don't know.
GoblinShaman>> Pathfinder is on the warpath.
GoblinSmithy>> Is it bad?
GoblinShaman>> He's really upset.
GoblinSmithy>> He did look a little broken up yesterday.
GoblinShaman>> Did you say something mean to him?
GoblinSmithy>> No.
GoblinSmithy>> I think it was the cliff that did it.
GoblinShaman>> Cliff?
GoblinSmithy>> Yeah. He had an argument with someone.
GoblinShaman>> Who?
GoblinSmithy>> Gravity.
GoblinSmithy>> In retrospect, I may have instigated it.
GoblinShaman>> How?
GoblinSmithy>> Well... I did bring him there.
GoblinShaman>> That's not so bad.
GoblinSmithy>> And the pushing him over the edge helped.
GoblinSmithy>> A little.
GoblinShaman>> Let me get this straight...
GoblinShaman>> You pushed Pathfinder off a cliff.
GoblinSmithy>> Of course it sounds bad if you say it like that.
GoblinShaman>> How would you say it?
GoblinSmithy>> I helped him learn Helldive.
GoblinSmithy>> Then he lost a fight.
GoblinSmithy>> Versus the ground.
GoblinShaman>> Man, he's going to kill you.
GoblinSmithy>> He's already killed me a dozen times.
GoblinSmithy>> Usually involving fire.
GoblinShaman>> No, Smithy.
GoblinShaman>> He's coming after you.
GoblinSmithy>> I'm shaking in my subligar.
GoblinShaman>> You're not scared?
GoblinSmithy>> Are you kidding?
GoblinSmithy>> I'm safer now that he's trying to kill me.
GoblinShaman>> I'd still watch out if I were you.
GoblinSmithy>> Gee. Thanks, Mom.

I laughed at Shaman for a minute and then walked to camp.

How stupid is that?

Pathfinder wants to be my archnemesis. He can't even spell archnemesis.

Hell, he probably thinks that was one of the Resident Evil games.

I was just starting to calm down the laughing when I heard a sound.

*low rumbling noise*

GoblinSmithy>> What NOW?!
GoblinSmithy>> I haven't even done anything yet.

Damn, that stupid rumbling.

What is it this time? Is it an alliance of Garrison NPCs? Is it a herd of Blue Mages?

And that's when it happened.

I got hit by an SUV.

Damn, I hate Pathfinders.

Both Goblin and Sport Utility.

17 Comments:

Blogger Bellemithra said...

Awwww Poor Smithy!!!!


You have to get him back man! Stab him while he's asleep!!!!

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"You have to get him back man! Stab him while he's asleep!!!!"

Why do that? Hit him where it hurts - slash the tires :)

11:12 AM  
Blogger Thistle said...

Good for Pathfinder! Yay! :D You did deserve that, Smithy. You should get along with your fellow goblins, band together against your common enemies!

11:12 AM  
Blogger Bellemithra said...

Oohhhhhhh Anonymous! That's such a better idea!!!!!

And while you're at it, put some "dings" in the doors, and take your knife out and make scratches in the paint!

12:02 PM  
Blogger Myloko said...

Poor Smithy! I told ya, the only way to beat Pathfinder is to get a bigger and better SUV, may I suggest a Hummer? ;)

1:54 PM  
Blogger Artos said...

Sugar in the gas tank! Petroleum jelly under the doorhandles! Potato in the exhaust pipe! Slash the tires! Cut the brake lines!

2:28 PM  
Blogger Raivyne said...

GoblinShaman>> Let me get this straight...
GoblinShaman>> You pushed Pathfinder off a cliff.
GoblinSmithy>> Of course it sounds bad if you say it like that.
GoblinShaman>> How would you say it?
GoblinSmithy>> I helped him learn Helldive.
GoblinSmithy>> Then he lost a fight.
GoblinSmithy>> Versus the ground.

still rofl

2:48 PM  
Blogger Hutea said...

*still laughing*

Poor Smithy..

;)

4:13 PM  
Blogger Araknai said...

You ought to make him a boobie trapped path to find.

4:38 PM  
Anonymous Julia said...

Put salami on various places on the car, when he removes them, he'll have a polka-dotted pattern all over his beloved Pathfinder.

I'm officially addicted to this blog.

5:14 PM  
Anonymous Monk Elf said...

you know you could always hire me to take him out and then i will punch the crap out of his car.

6:51 PM  
Blogger Jirizo Reborn said...

Dont worrie! You'll get'em next time.. Remember, Pathfinder has a short-term memory!

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Three words
"Get The Bee!"

9:04 PM  
Blogger WindexHamster said...

Too good!

12:33 AM  
Blogger Zemi said...

Between you and [GM]Dave, I'm gonna need an oxygen mask because of all the laughing!

4:59 AM  
Blogger Aeriel said...

Oh dear, smithy-roadkill, i hope you facestabbed that pathfinders grill on the way down, hope you didn't wimper and maon as you were turned into gobby pizza.
Well either way i'm sure belle and myself will form up an alliance of mithra to nuke the hell out of that pathfinder... well maybe a plan should be:
We get a Sneak Invis'd theif to steal his petrol cap and the flee, then while pathhfinder is chasing him we set up and ambush with mages and nuke his petrol tank!
Nothing says Fu*k you like incineration!.... well except a facestab :)

5:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Smithy,

Those missing besieged mobs, they weren't involved with the Day without Immigrants march were they? If so, won't they get fired and you have to do besieged a lot more? The suffering will continue buddy....

1:43 PM  

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